To Fill the Emptiness

It was another lonely night for Gladys Foster, and she found herself tunneling down another internet rabbithole. She would later remark on how normal it all seemed, how deceptively usual.

She couldn’t say how she’d come across the ancient website. She certainly hadn’t been looking for it, and couldn’t imagine anyone who would. It was embarrassingly over-the-top---an eyesore through and through, even by the standards of the edgelord who must have made it circa 2001 or so. A white heading gleamed against a bright red background. “Candle Magic and Spells,” it said. The borders of the page were decorated with crude MS paint animations of candles flickering on and going out of their own accord. In the middle of the page sat a menu of links all in fluorescent yellow with choices like, “To protect your home,” and “To attract money.”

Gladys was about to click away when her eyes landed on the link at the very bottom of the list.

“To fill the emptiness."

Interesting, she thought. You have my attention.

She clicked through to a black page with red lettering. A heading showed the name of the spell, just as it had been written in the menu. “To fill the emptiness.” What could it mean? Gladys wondered. It didn’t take her long to find out.

“Are you lonely?” the page read.

Yes, thought Gladys.

“Do you yearn for companionship?”

She nodded emphatically.

“Someone to fill that gnawing, empty void inside of you?”

A tear rolled onto Gladys’ cheek, and she let a moment pass before she wiped it away. The truth was that it had been so long since someone held her close and petted her. Decades. So many long, cold, empty years had passed, and in that time, she had come to feel so keenly, sharply alone.

“Here’s an answer to your troubles,” the webpage said. “Guaranteed to work!”

Guaranteed. Gladys turned the word over in her mind. Of course it couldn’t be true. Spells didn’t work. Magic wasn’t real. There was nothing to be gained by going through whatever motions were outlined on the page.

But then, by that same logic, there was no risk either. What was the worst that could happen if she “cast” this little spell? Nothing would happen, right? And, if by some miracle, something did happen….

She refused to let her hopes rise and kept reading. “Tallow?” she asked allowed as she perused the list of necessary items. “What the hell is....?” Her voice trailed off as she typed the word into Google.

The answer came soon enough. “Oh…. Ew….” Was it really worth trying this little experiment if she would have to render animal fat herself? And quite a lot of it from the sound of things. The thought made her shiver.

And yet she read on. Tallow, best if rendered oneself. A cotton wick. Some specific herbs and flowers. Magic words. It seemed simple enough.

Bright and early the next morning, Gladys headed off to the local butcher shop. She’d never been there before, and as soon as she opened the door, she knew why. Carcasses, whole and in pieces, hung from the ceiling. Gladys felt a globule of bile rise in her throat and nearly swooned. A burly man in a stained white shirt and apron separated animal flesh from bone with a decisive cleaver chop. He was more than happy to load up a bad with beef parts that were perfect for rendering. Gladys paid and left happy overall. She had gotten what she wanted, and what was more, she was now one of those people who “had a butcher."

Perhaps the “spell” is already working, she mused.

The rest of the ingredients were easy enough to come by. A nearby craft store---much more her speed---had them all. It was early afternoon by the time she got home with her prizes.

And so, Gladys waited until nightfall. Why, she couldn’t say. It just seemed to make more sense. One cast spells at night, she imagined. It wasn’t exactly fitting work for the middle of the day.

Rendering the tallow was the worst part of the whole thing. It was a practically medieval task with a practically medieval odor to boot. If Gladys thought she could have left the pot to its own devices, the stink would have choked her out of the kitchen.

With the fat still liquid, she poured it into a large bowl. Trying not to breath in through her nose, she reached for a handful of herbs. She sprinkled them in as she chanted the strange words from the webpage. They were no words she’d ever heard before. An unplaceable language. Probably gibberish. But the process must be trusted, she decided.

The last flower petal plopped only the surface of the congealing fat. By now, it seemed like just the right consistency for the next step.

The squish of the tallow in her hands nearly made her gag. As she squeezed and sculpted it, Gladys couldn’t help how silly she felt. Was this really what she’d been reduced to? Playing in flower-laced beef fat for the sake of attracting a man? How pathetic!

Nevertheless, she molded the tallow around the long wick, pinching and scraping until it maybe, perhaps resembled the shape of a human male.

“It will have to do,” Gladys said out loud with a sigh. She no longer had any faith in this little excursion into the occult, but was so far into the process, there seemed no reason not to see it through.

At the hour of midnight, Gladys placed the candle on the sill of a front-facing window, just as the webpage said, so it would be visible to any passersby walking the street. She was suddenly nervous. Up until this point, lighting the candle and setting whatever magic it had in motion had been theoretical, really beyond her ability to take it seriously. Now, here she was. The snap and fizz of the match coming to life was the only sound that cut through the silence of her home. She touched the flame to the wick and watched as it took. It was done.

What now?

Gladys suddenly felt useless. What was she to do with herself? How would she even know if the spell had worked?

She suddenly had the feeling of waking up. Was she seriously expecting something to happen because she made and lit a candle? A harsh laugh escaped her throat. Her eyes landed on the clock. It was about fifteen past midnight. Past her bedtime.

Oh well, Gladys thought.

She shuffled over to the candle and inhaled, readying herself to blow it out. Suddenly, the sharp ring of the doorbell cut through the air.

The hell?

Gladys left the candle burning and moved slowly toward the door. It was after midnight. Who in the world could be visiting at this hour?

“Who is it?” Gladys asked, trying to sound intimidating.

The doorbell rang again as the only response.

“Go away!” As she spoke, Gladys realized she was shaking, though why, she couldn’t say. It was strange that someone would ring her doorbell after midnight, but was it really something that should terrify her?

The doorbell rang again. Gladys’ heart leapt into her throat. Almost without her permission, her legs were set in motion. She couldn’t stop herself from undoing the lock, turning the knob, and opening the door a crack. Cautiously, she peered out.

A man stood on the other side, dressed all in black. He was tall and pale with long dark hair. His angular features seemed regal. Ice blue eyes smiled down at her. It couldn’t be denied that he was the most beautiful man Gladys had ever seen.

“Oh my God,” she uttered, throwing open the door the rest of the way.

The man took it as an open invitation. He swept in and took Gladys in his eyes, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. Gladys heard him kick the front door closed, separating them from the prying eyes of the outside world.

Without a moment more of hesitation, the man pressed his lips to Gladys’. It was the most passionate kiss she’d had in years. Decades. She melted into it, moaning slightly. Her excitement heightened as the man’s tongue found its way into her mouth. Ecstasy invaded her, catching a ride on the blood in her veins and sailing throughout her whole body.

When she felt the man edge his nose into her mouth, however, Gladys became alarmed. Before she realized was happening, it seemed her jaw was being painfully stretched. The man had his entire face in her mouth and was pressing further and further in. She gagged, choked, and flailed as the man seemed to change is very physiology and burrow his way deep into her mouth and down her throat. Her jaw popped out of alignment to allow his shoulders passage. She clawed frantically at the parts of him that remained outside of her, but to no avail. Muffled screams and gurgles served as her please for mercy, but none would be given.

Gladys had no idea how long the ordeal lasted. She was conscious and present for every painful second of it. When the last of her visitor slid down her throat, she felt dry there and nauseous. She wanted nothing more than to run to the bathroom and vomit up whatever nightmare she’d just had.

But she couldn’t. Her feet were glued to the spot. She had no control over any part of her body. She could still experience thoughts and sensations, but something was different. Something was wrong.

Her arm came up to her face and wiped her mouth. All of this happened without Gladys’ input. Instantly, she knew what had happened. The words from the website echoed through her mind: “To fill the emptiness.”

She felt the invader stretch her lips into a smile. It blinked her eyes. Using her hands, it straightened up her blouse and skirt. She felt the sting on her fingertips as the invader pinched out the candle. Then, it headed out the front door and into the dark night.

Gladys was simply along for the ride.