The Observer

The last thing I saw, was him. He was saying something; his lips were moving but I couldn’t hear a thing.

Now, I’m here awake, sitting next to my body. Yes, you read it right, sitting next to my body. I committed suicide. I killed myself, however you want to called it. Why? Well, I was afraid of myself.

The floor is covered in my blood; my body is beginning to turn so bluish and violet that makes me feel pity of myself. The police are here talking between themselves and my neighbors, wondering the motives I could had had to do what I did.

I decided, that if I stayed there a little bit more I would regret not killing myself in the closet, so no one could find my body for a while.

I walked out of the apartment building, it was late in the afternoon, on the busy Manhattan, people were returning home from their jobs and some of them getting ready to enjoy the rest of the night. As I walked through the mass of people on the street I wondered if I would see him again, even though I’m death, and who the hell called the police? I wanted to die alone. I came across the St’ Patrick Cathedral, already close, tourist outside taking pictures, eating hot dogs and pretzels, so disgusting.

I walked to the door and touched it, my fingers went right through the door, so I decided to enter completely. Inside the candles were burning, everything was warm and quiet, I sat in one of the benches and closed my eyes. I’m not supposed to go to hell?

Not really.

I opened my eyes and next to me was this tall man, pale skin and blue eyes looking at me with a smile.

What do you mean? I asked moving a little bit away from him to see his face.

He was a handsome man, his age, well, he could possibly be my dad or granddad, but certainly he was the most beautiful creature I had seen.

If you commit suicide you automatically would go to hell or won’t have an eternal rest, that’s what religion tell us, in fact is partially true, but with you it’s different because you have a job to do and unfortunately is completely permanent. You would never be able to fully rest.

A job? I don’t think I’m the right person, you are mistaken me for someone else.

I stand up and step backwards.

Do you see any other death person around, besides us?

I look around, the only ones there beside us, were the concierges of the church cleaning, live humans. I looked at him, he was still smiling at me, his incredibly blue eyes were full of destruction, I could see everything set on fire in them, anger, and horror.

Why me? I sat again next to him looking down, he grabbed my hand. I could feel him! Cold but I could touch him, I was amazed, I thought I would never be able to touch anything again.

You can only touch spirits like you and objects, sorry, you got the job because I been looking at you since you were born, and I knew you were different.

Who are you?

He grabbed my hand more firmly and kissed it. I felt a shock of electricity traveled through my body. He left my hand, stand up and directed me to follow him. Everything went black for a second, then we appeared in the rooftop of the One World Trade Center building, you could see the entire city, not only Manhattan, but New Jersey in the horizon. How many times in my life, have I fantasized about jumping from this building? Too many times. He was looking down at the people walking on the streets, miserable creatures, he laughed, beautiful yet scary, I looked at him. Now he was looking at me. I could feel his eyes on me, the pressure of then in me was so strong I could barely move myself a step back from him, his blue eyes were now wine red, fill with anger; at this point the only though that crossed my mind was that he was about to destroy me, my soul and spirit, I would disappear from this earth but I would not be able to get to any ending point, not heaven, not hell. He blinked and his eyes went back to the peaceful blue of before, how should I feel about him? I just meet him and now I’m involved in something unknown, why I didn’t go to hell? I wanted to close my eyes and forget everyone or this is a punishment for killing myself? I started to feel weird, was a mix of dizziness and tiredness, little by little everything went black and silent once more, but this time for a longer time.

I woke up in a big bedroom with him sleeping next to me, this time he was warm and I swear I could hear his heart beating. He was alive! I jumped out of the bed, and fell backwards. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

I’m still alive, but I can leave my body to travel and touch you.

He smiled while saying that.

What happened to me? I asked him, while putting myself up again.

Spirits like you, need to feed themselves to gain the enough energy to continue their existence on earth, among humans. You just need to steal energy from the humans around you. That’s why I came back to my body and brought you here.

I sat on the bed, he was still resting there. I could feel his body’s heat, it was warm, the beating of his heart was like heavenly music for my ears. I drag myself closer to him and I could feel how I was gaining more energy, I felt better. Why did I meet this man? Why him? I closed my eyes for a minute, I needed to be with him like this for a bit more.

I opened my eyes and I was on my room, with the gun in my hand. I smiled, this time I can hold it for a little longer.