She is Her Own Haunted House

The world is a shining, glittering movie of roses and sunshine. Beautiful music of hopes and dreams playing in the background like a welcoming theme song. The girls wear golden summer dresses while the boys wear salmon shorts and laugh over their shots of vodka. Everyone eats ice cream with sprinkles and smiles with their bikinis and surfboards. They pray over their meals and drink orange juice with their eggs and bacon made into a smily face. The birds feel free to fly and sing everywhere. It’s like a summer breezing 'musical of an after school special. Everything is open and fresh, people walk down the streets without a care in the world, saying hello to every neighbor they meet. It’s full of small talk and polite greetings. There are tiny dogs in purses and little poodles with perfect perms and ribbons. The world is painted with floral and pastel colors and all of it makes me sick.

The sun burns my delicate skin and the pastels make my skin crawl. All the light colors feel like melted sugar, too sweet and I’m drowning. Before I was walking alone, trying to withstand the blue sky and Sunday drives. I couldn’t barely contain my sickened expression watching the shopping and little girls with pink ribbons and bows. With my thick, black, steel-toed boots I’d step on the pretty pink flowers lining the sidewalk and smash them into the pavement. I dusted every person I passed with flakes of dried blood and ashes, trying to balance the scales. I scratch my long, thick black nails through every wall and tear in their sheets of teal silk and egyptian cotton. But it was all too much for me to take on alone.

Then you, you came. You came with your own dark cloud and darkened smile. You saw the gates on my heart, and pried your way into my haunted house. You saw the spider webs and corners filled with snake skins but only smirked. Not even a shiver. You heard the cries of my demons and brought in a few of your own. You strutted right in and built a shield for me to combat the delightful world of color and sugar outside. You kiss away all the glorious mornings with your poisons lips and bring back the storms and lightning in the sky. With you it feels like everyday is Halloween.

My heart is a haunted house and you hold the key, the monster to my Frankenstein and the Jack to my Sally. I need you now to darken my path and feed the wild, ravenous bats flying around my ceiling. Waltz with me through the ballroom filled with dancing ghosts and horrid spooks.

I can’t enter the normal world of shining light without you now. I can’t suffer their overly polite small talk and cotton candy smiles. You carry my umbrella to block the sun. You hold my hand with your werewolf claws as we pass the Pleasant Ville families on the street. I smirk seeing their horrified expressions and you blow them kisses like toxic darts. Together we murder every flower and bring about a trail of snakes, toads and blood.

I can’t sleep without you and your claws cutting through my dreams, revealing the nightmare beneath. Erase the cherries and lily petals. Fill me up with shattered glass and snake eyes. Bite into my neck with your venomous fangs and fill me with your tortuous sweet viciousness. Only that comforts me. Only the creepy dark with your glowing eyes makes me feel safe. Only you smearing blood on the walls feels like home to me. I need you forever occupying my haunted house.