Running With the Shadows of the Night (Chapter 4)

You’re sitting up tonight.

Yes, I feel a bit better today.

That’s good. Your cheeks look a little rosier.

Do they?

I think so. How was your day?

Better than yesterday.

I’m glad to hear that.

Do you know what today is?

Tell me.

The first day of baseball season.

Is it? Do you miss it?

Yeah.

Did you play?

Yeah. I was pitcher.

Did you watch today? On television?

No.

Oh. Why not?

I don’t know. I was thinking about Luna.

Oh? What about him?

Not Luna 23, the Luna Silas lost.

I see.

Do you think Silas was right about him? That he had lots of des—desa—

Descendants? Children?

Yeah. In the farms?

I think so.

But you don’t know for sure?

No. But I don’t know for sure that he didn’t. Sometimes, when there’s no way to know for sure, I choose to believe the positive outcome. I think it’s very, very likely that the great-great—

Great—

Great-grandchildren of that Luna are the cat-rulers of the whole district.

Yes. I believe that, too. I was getting really sad thinking about him dying.

Everyone dies.

Yes.

It’s what we leave behind that matters.

Grands and great-grands?

Well, that for some people, sure. But also things we create, memories that people have of us, the love we’ve shared with others. There are lots of things we leave behind.

And some people stick around.

In a way.

Like…Senka stayed.

Yes. Though who knows why.

And Silas didn’t die.

No, he paid a different price.

That’s what tonight’s story is about, isn’t it?

Well, Silas’ story is very long, so this will just be a part.

Okay, me and Teddy are ready when you are.

As Silas began to speak, birds were stirring in the garden outside the library window. Senka could hear the squawk of a rowdy bluejay claiming his territory, the high-pitched chip-chip of hummingbirds battling over nectar, the fluid trill of wrens advertising for a mate. The familiar sounds gave her a sense of peace in this strange, new place. Silas, one hand resting on the arm of the chair, the other stretched protectively across the flank of the dozing kitten, began.

“My sister was very beautiful. When we were young, many men wanted to marry her, but Aguya wanted nothing to do with any of them. She wasn’t interested in marriage and children, in scratching out a bleak existence and dying young, as so many women did in those days.”

“When are we talking about?” Senka interrupted.

“This was the early part of the eighteenth century. We never knew our birth years. They weren’t recorded.” He paused in reflection, then went on. “That was of no interest to my parents. I have chosen 1720 for mine.” He added, almost as an afterthought, “Though to be honest, age has little meaning to me now.”

“I get it,” Senka said with a wry smile. “Were you born in this country?”

“I was born in what is now Northern California. In fact, it was my father who first cut down the trees and made your clearing.”

“Oh!” Senka exclaimed. “Born there and made there?”

“Yes. Born there and made there,” Silas echoed, a sadness creeping into his tone. He seemed suddenly to be far away, his eyes unfocused. Senka watched him in silence, wondering what pain he was reliving. She called him back to the moment saying, “My history of California is so bad. I didn’t realize there were many white people living in Northern California at that time.” Silas looked up at her, his eyes focusing again. He replied, “There weren’t. My father was the only one I ever saw. At least until my Master came.” Of course, Senka thought, the dark hair and eyes, the refined high cheekbones. As if in answer, Silas added, “My mother belonged to the Ohlone people. But that story is for another time.”

“Why was your father there? That was too early for the gold rush, right?” She found herself intrigued to hear this history from Silas, who had lived it. Or maybe it was just pleasant to watch his face shift and move through his emotions and memories.

“This was long before the gold rush. My father was…My father was not a good man.” His expression hardened. “That’s far too kind. He was wicked. My sister and I were desperate to get away, but we didn’t know where to run. We had never been out of those woods. And there were the younger children to consider.”

“How old were they?”

“The youngest was newly into womanhood.”

“Yeah, we don’t really put it that way anymore. I think you mean she’d reached puberty, right?”

Silas grimaced. “When I reflect on those times, I regress.”

“Anyway, go on with your story.”

“A few of my brothers had escaped my father. They had found companions and started families of their own. There wasn't much Aguya and I could do for the rest and for our mother, but we stayed.” Silas paused.

Questions crowded Senka’s mind, but looking at Silas’ face, she could see that he was deep in his memories; she didn’t want to pull him away from them. She had the feeling that this was the first time he had told the story he was relating now. She kept still, watching him.

Finally, he went on. “One night, not long after sunset, I was sitting on a fallen log in the forest. I had left the house to get peace. As I sat, thinking, I became aware that something felt terribly wrong. At first, I wasn’t sure what it was. Then I realized that the woods had become completely silent. Just moments before, the trees had been filled with the twittering of birds as they settled down for the night. There had been rustling in the underbrush where small nocturnal animals roused themselves, and an owl had begun to hoot, readying itself for its nightly hunt. Suddenly, there was nothing. All of nature was holding its breath. At the time, I didn’t know why this sudden silence filled me with terror. My heart beat so hard and fast, I thought it would fail. I couldn’t breathe. An iron band tightened around my ribs. I was suffocating! My vision narrowed into a tunnel. I could no longer see the stars that, moments before, had been peeking through the trees. All was darkness. My hands gripped the log I sat on. My imagination screamed that if I should topple off, I would disappear into the fallen leaves and be lost forever.” He paused. One hand had risen to his throat as if his breath, stopped for hundreds of years, was once again constricted by panic. “Without warning, there was a face before me. In all the silence of the woods, I hadn’t heard him coming. That night and for some time afterward, I attributed it to my physical state.”

“It was your Maker!” Senka whispered.

“Yes.”

“Did it happen then?”

“My making? No.” Silas laughed bitterly. “No, that isn’t his way. He has never taken by force.”

“So what happened?”

“He helped me back to the house. He, whose presence had brought on fear more intense than any I had ever known, acted so solicitous. He was looking for a place to camp for the night, he said, when he stumbled across me ‘having some kind of fit.’ My parents had been in bed, but they rose, and my mother got me some water. My vision cleared at last. What I saw disgusted me. As my sister sat next to me, her hair undone and flowing across her shoulders, and my mother hovered about the edges, my father stood in conversation with the stranger. The look on my father’s face was the look of a hungry wolf with a lamb in its sight. In the stranger, he saw opportunity, an easy mark.” Luna, awoken by the jostling of Silas’ gestures, yawned hugely, stood, stretched, circled, and lay down again. Watching him, Silas appeared to relax. His expression, at first twisted in sneering disgust, softened. With one hand, he rubbed at his face, then swept his hair back. “My father was a greedy, nasty man,” he said with a touch of regret. “But I have long since forgiven him. And the truth is, none of us knew what chaos the stranger brought with him. How could we then?”

“What was he like?” she asked, then amended, “What is he like?”

“Charming. Ruthless. In Paris once I saw him lure a child, all frills and ringlets and delicate innocence, away from her governess’ side, drain her of blood, and cast her into a fountain. When I asked him why, he answered that her purity offended him. Yet had he seen her at another time, he might have passed her by without a thought.” Silas shook his head as if to dislodge the memory. “Humans are so foolish about appearances. They let themselves be duped into believing that a handsome form and face are indicators of virtue.”

Senka scrunched up her face and grunted. “Yeah. Been there, done that.” Silas looked at her questioningly. “It’s a story for another time, as you say,” she responded, then added, “So he’s good-looking then?”

Silas nodded. “He is like a Scandinavian god.”

What does that mean?

Blonde-haired, blue-eyed, tall, athletic. Like a superhero, maybe.

Have you ever seen him?

Silas’ maker? Yes, I’ve seen him.

Did you think he was handsome, too?

Yes.

Teddy wants to know if we’ll ever see him.

No. Tell Teddy you two are safe. You’ll never have to see him.

Teddy says, “Good.” You can go on, please.

“When my father saw the stranger,” Silas continued, “his sole thought was to wrest as much from him as he possibly could. So when the stranger asked if he could camp in our woods for a time, my father readily agreed. About an hour after the traveler had left our cabin, I heard my father go into my sister’s room and wake her. She was by far the best tracker of us all. He told her to find out where the stranger had settled. She wasn’t gone long. She said that he had made a camp in a dense part of the forest, but that he wasn’t there when she arrived. We didn’t see him at all the next day, so late in the afternoon, my father sent her out again, alone. I could guess what he was up to.”

“At some point, he’d pretend to discover them alone together,“ Senka said, disgusted.

“Yes. Then he could play the wounded father, affect moral outrage. If that didn’t work, he would force her to say that the stranger had assaulted her. In either case, he could demand payment, or that he marry her, or any number of things. And if the man had been anyone other than my Maker, it might have worked. When she went to his camp that afternoon, she was gone for hours. Long after sundown, he escorted her back through the woods and presented her to my father as if she were a princess returning to court. He made it clear not only that she was untouched but that he would not be duped.”

“What did your father do?”

“He could barely stay civil, except that the stranger treated him with such courtesy, my father wasn’t sure if he was being made a fool of or not. When I asked my sister why she was gone so long, she said that she and the stranger had been talking, though she couldn’t remember what they had been talking about. As I told you, my Master is very persuasive.”

“But he uses more than his charm, doesn’t he?” Senka was remembering her first meeting with Silas. “In the cabin, I felt something. It was as if a current of power passed by me when you first spoke. You were trying to compel me to step from the shadows, weren’t you?”

“You noticed that?” He raised an eyebrow. “That was the first time that little trick had failed me. Clearly, it doesn’t work on the dead.”

“I felt it,” Senka admitted. “It’s just that I could let it pass me by. Can you compel any living thing, then?”

“It had always worked before you. Compulsion is one of the many gifts that are passed in one’s Making.”

Senka was troubled. “Did your Master compel Aguya, then, to spend time with him?”

Silas waggled his head to indicate the answer was complicated. “I don’t believe he ever compelled her, at least, not then. I think she was fascinated. However, I am convinced that he blurred her memories, made them harder to access so that she couldn’t tell anyone the content of their conversations.”

“Another vampire gift?” Senka congratulated herself for speaking the word aloud in Silas’ presence.

“Yes, another vampire gift.” Silas smiled, then stood, scooping Luna up and depositing him on the chair. Vampire and cat both stretched, then one curled up in the corner of the chair and went back to sleep. The other walked the length of the room and back. He stood behind the high-backed chair now occupied solely by the sleeping kitten and rested his forearms on the back. He regarded Senka for a moment. “You know,” he said, “as the room has lightened, your outlines have gotten less defined. You appear almost solid where the shadows are deeper, nearly translucent where there is more light.”

“I guess I have some gifts of my own,” Senka said with a tilt of her head. “Well, one, anyway,” she added. “Are you tired of telling your story?”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “It’s something of a relief, to be honest.”

Senka nodded. “I get that. So, Aguya couldn’t tell you what she and the stranger had been talking about?”

“No. But every day after that, she would disappear, slipping away when our father wasn’t paying attention and coming back later and later. I knew my father was just waiting to turn the situation to his advantage if he could. At last, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I was worried about her, and I wanted to see for myself that whatever was happening, it was not against her will. The next day, I watched her closely as we were working. When she snuck off, I followed her. She moved so quickly through the forest that I could barely keep up. Eventually, I heard her call out to the stranger; he answered at once, as if he’d been expecting her. I crept near enough to see them, though they were talking so quietly, I couldn’t hear what they were saying. They sat on the ground, close together, leaning against a large tree whose leaves and branches cast a wide circle of shadow. My sister was turned toward him, listening eagerly to whatever he was saying. She laughed, and he watched her as if she were the most important creature in the world. Then, she pulled up the long sleeves of her dress. I was horrified! The insides of her arms were covered in livid bruises. Some were aging into purples and yellows, but others were dark and fresh. As I watched, she held her arm up to the stranger who lowered his lips to it as if he were kissing those bruises. She gasped, then leaned in until their heads were touching. Whatever he was doing, she enjoyed it. I don’t know how long they stayed like that, but when at length the stranger looked up, he stared directly into my eyes. He must have known all along that I was there, that I was watching them. I turned and pelted through the forest, terrified that he was following me.”

Silas paused, then said to Senka, “I can no longer see you. Would you mind if I moved your chair away from the light? It seems as though I’m talking to myself.” Senka rose and moved into a dimmer part of the room. She said, “I’ve been alone for years. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be alone for centuries with no one to tell this story to.” Silas’ voice shook a little when he finally answered, “I’m glad that you’re here.” She held his eyes for a moment longer. The more she got to know his features, his voice, his Silas-ness, the more she felt that being with him was like coming home. She smiled at him and when he smiled back, it was as if they shared a secret. She asked, “Is this better?” He nodded, then moved to her chair, picked it up, and carried it to her. She sat, once again tucking her feet beneath herself and leaning into the high back of the wing chair. Luna, awoken by their movements, yawned, stretched, and jumped from his chair to find a sunbeam to bathe in. Silas observed him, a tenderness in his eyes. “At least there’s one of us who benefits from the daylight.” They watched him for a moment, smiling, then Senka turned back to Silas. “I’m getting the idea that things are about to get hairy.” Silas’ face was suddenly somber. He sat again and stared at the floor for a moment before picking up his story.

“It was late when Aguya returned. I was awake and heard her open the bedroom door and whisper my name. She knew I wouldn’t be sleeping. I crept from the bedroom so as not to wake the other boys. She was standing just outside the door and motioned me to follow her. She led me out of the cabin to the fallen log I had been sitting on when the stranger first appeared. Here she sat and gestured that I should join her. The first thing she said to me was, ‘Don’t be afraid of him.’ I wasn’t sure if she was soothing me or protecting him. All I could do in response was to take her hand in mine and pull up the sleeve of her dress. Even in the moonlight, I could see that her arms, both of them, were covered in bruises. ‘It doesn’t hurt, Silas,’ she insisted. ‘In fact, I like it.’ She pulled her hands away from mine and covered her arms again. ‘Silas! You have to listen to me. He could be our savior!’ I had no idea what she meant and shook my head. She grabbed my hands and held them between hers. ‘Silas, he’s powerful. Do you remember when we were children and we were visited by the people from the north? They told us so many stories! Do you remember? They told us of the Mosquito Man. We were so scared! This stranger is like that. No! He’s not frightening. He doesn’t kill little children by sucking their brains from their skulls. But he does feed on blood. You see?’ She showed me her arms again. ‘He’s been drinking mine. But he takes just a little bit at a time. He is so careful not to hurt me. Oh, Silas! He’s been telling me about himself. He is hundreds and hundreds of years old! He says he will never die. He’s traveled everywhere. And, Silas, he’ll take us with him.’ I was shocked to hear the excitement in her voice. But she was carried away and didn’t even notice. She told me of his strength, his kindness, she related some of his adventures. And to be honest, I was fascinated. Her enthusiasm was contagious. She told me that she had questioned him for hours, and he had finally admitted that he was able to create others who were like him. After pleading with him, she had convinced him to turn her. Then she told me that, after I had run away from them in the woods, she convinced the stranger to turn me, as well, but only, he cautioned her, if I wanted to be.”

Silas laughed, but his face was twisted with disgust. He got up from the table and paced the length of the room. “You see how he works?” He struck his fist against his thigh. “The lies, the chicanery, the prevarication. And Aguya! She was so innocent. She thought everyone was as honest as she was. At least, as she was then. He saw what our father was like, and he knew she was desperate to get away from him. He made her beg because he knew she would. He glorified his existence. Oh, he was so exotic and unparalleled! And I bought every bit of the story, too. I was every bit as gullible as she.” He flopped into a chair, turning his face away from Senka.

“Well, of course you were!” she said with a touch of impatience. Silas jerked his head up, stung. She went on, “You and Aguya were two complete innocents facing the world’s most polished con man. You’d never left your little clearing, and he had had centuries to perfect his schtick. What do you expect? Have a little compassion for your younger selves! You’ve had decades to become more worldly and sophisticated. Don’t judge yourself then by yourself now. Besides, I’d far rather hang out with a greenhorn than a…a butthole any day.” She glared fiercely at Silas. He looked back, his face a mask. At last he said, “I think that’s the first time that anyone has called one of the oldest, most powerful vampires in the world a butthole.” Without a pause, Senka replied, “Yeah, well, I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. What happened next?”

Silas closed his eyes and thought for a moment. “We went together the next day and asked him to change us both. Of course he agreed. Aguya was first. He was so tender with her. He cradled her against him as if she were the most fragile porcelain. She held her bare arm up to him, and he bit her carefully. He drank, stopping now and then to ask her oh-so-solicitously if she was comfortable. It was all an act, of course. When she began to grow weak, he sliced his own neck with his fingernail and held her mouth to the blood. At first, she licked at it with disgust. Then she drank more and more thirstily, holding him to her, blood smeared across her lips and face. When he pulled her away, she beamed at him, triumphant. She was radiant. As I watched, her bruises vanished. The desperation and fear that always haunted her were gone. I longed to be turned more passionately than I had ever dared to want something. Aguya spread her arms. She cried out, ‘Silas, are you ready?’ I nodded with such hope.

“He was on me in one ferocious leap. He grabbed a fistful of hair and bent my head backward. I thought he would break my spine. With his free hand, he ripped open my shirt, then brutally plunged his teeth into my neck, ripping away the flesh. The pain was excruciating, a stab of lightning burning in the wound and searing through every part of my body. My sister screamed. I tried to fight him off, but his arms were like iron bands. I clawed at them, at his face. He sucked more and more blood from me. My head swam. Darkness flickered at the edges of my eyes. Aguya screamed again and beat at him. As I lost consciousness, my back slammed into the ground. He had thrown me away from him.

“I came to with the taste of blood in my mouth. The stranger, my Maker, was pressing his wrist to my lips. His blood flowed over my tongue. The need to drink burned in me. It was like a living thing. I grasped his arm and pressed it to my mouth. Long before I had drunk enough to satisfy me, he jerked his arm away. I was in an agony of hunger. My sister pleaded for me, but he refused. ‘He’s had enough of my blood,’ he told her. I lay on the ground, huddled against the pain that wracked my whole body. My Maker crouched down next to me and rested his hand on my head. It was the first gesture of kindness he had made towards me, and I felt so grateful I began to cry. I was disgusted by myself, but I couldn’t help it. He whispered in my ear, ‘You know it’s not my blood you want now. You will only be satisfied with his.’”

“Holy shit,” whispered Senka. “That asshole sent you after your father.” It wasn’t a question.

“And I was in no condition to resist.” Silas shook his head. “No. I need to be honest. I was alive with power. Weak, yes, but I could still feel a nascent power flowing in me. And the idea of terrifying the monster who had terrified me for twenty-seven years! It thrilled me. What my Maker knew that I didn’t, what I had no way of knowing, was what that first taste of human blood would do to me.” He lapsed into silence, a frown pinching the bridge of his nose.

Senka gave him some time to dwell on his memories, then reached her hand towards him, her palm up. He started. She knew he’d almost forgotten she was there, then he looked at her as if her face held all the answers he needed. He reached out his own hand and placed it in hers. Senka had not been sure there was enough shadow to make her solid, but she wrapped her fingers around his cold ones and gave them a little squeeze. What’s done cannot be undone, she thought. To Silas, she said, “What happened?”

Still holding tight to her hand he said, “My sister and I started back to our cabin. For the first yards, she had to help me to stay upright, but before long my Maker’s blood took hold. The pain left me, and I felt stronger than I ever had in life. While we had been with our Maker, the sun had sunk behind the hills. The family was at supper when we burst into the cabin. Can you imagine how we looked? My sister with sprays of dried blood all over her dress. My shirt still soggy with my own blood, my Maker’s blood caking my face. The scene is fixed in my memory. Our brothers and sisters were paralyzed, staring at us in horror. My mother, so strange, stood at the kitchen stove, a ladle in her hand, looking at us with no expression on her face. Almost as if she had been expecting exactly this. But my father sneered and said, ‘Is that your blood, girl? Have you bedded him at last?’ Then he looked at me. ‘And you. What have you fucked up this time?’ His words, his tone, the look on his face enraged me. I grabbed him by the shirt collar and dragged him from the house. Some part of me didn’t want the others to see what I was about to do.” He stopped. Senka gave his hand a squeeze and said, “Go on, Silas.” He glanced at her, then away. He closed his eyes. “I meant just to scare him. To teach him a lesson. I threw him onto the ground and pinned his chest with my knee. I made sure he was watching me, then bared my teeth. For the first time, I felt the canines grow. His eyes widened, and I saw the shock, the terror in them. I felt triumphant. I leaned down and sank my teeth into his neck.” He stopped again. With his free hand, he covered his eyes, but he held onto Senka’s hand as if it were a lifeline. “I swear I meant to drink only enough to weaken him for a time.” His voice cracked, and Senka could see tears on his cheeks. With all the understanding she could put in her tone, she asked again, “What happened, Silas?”

“I ripped his throat out.” It came out in a snarl. “I drank every bit of blood that didn’t soak into the earth.” He was crying openly now. “I couldn’t stop. I was helpless against the urge. And he knew that was how it would be. My Maker knew. I think if Aguya hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed them all. It was chaos. Our siblings screamed and screamed. But our mother. She stood quietly in the doorway of the cabin, observing everything as if it weren’t real. Or as if she had been prepared for it. I don’t know.” He paused again, deep in thought, then said, “I ran into the woods, back to my Maker. I wept and he comforted me.” He laughed bitterly. “I was so grateful to him,” he said with a sneer. “Sometime later, my sister returned. She told me she had buried our father and quieted our siblings. She said our mother looked calm and strong. We left those woods with our Maker that night. Other than Aguya, I never saw any of my family again.”

Silas leaned back in his chair, exhausted. Senka let go of his hand, rose from her chair, and knelt down in front of him. “Thank you for telling me,” she said.

“I have never….” He trailed off.

“I know. I’m glad you told me.”

“You’re not…you’re not disgusted by me?”

She shook her head. “Of course not.” Then it occurred to her that she should probably ask the question that had been in the back of her mind. “I mean,” she began in as light a tone as possible, “do you still rip humans’ throats out?”

His expression showed how truthfully he spoke when he said, “No! My lands, no! I haven’t fed on humans in over a hundred years!”

“Well, good. That’s kind of a relief.” She gave him a half smile. “But, no, Silas. I’m not disgusted by you. I don’t blame you. That would be like, I don’t know, like blaming a baby for wailing when its diaper is full. That’s its nature. Here you were, newly made, manipulated into being half-starved. It’s like your Maker loaded the gun, put it in your hands, and pointed you in the right direction. I just feel for you. And as I said before, I think you owe your younger self a little compassion.”

Silas regarded Senka for a long time. She knew he was wondering if she was sincere, so she met his gaze steadily. At last, a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders and he smiled. “Thank you,” he said. “I think,” he added, his hands on his thighs, “I think I’d like to go upstairs and pay my respects to my sister.” Senka rose, saying, “You still haven’t told me about your falling out with her and your Maker.”

“I don’t think I have the energy for that story right now.”

“No. We can save that one. I think we have plenty of time together, don’t you?” She saw her words register with him. He heard the unspoken promise, and she sensed that, like her, he was grateful to think that his seasons of loneliness were behind him.

“Yes,” he said. With his hand on the doorknob, he turned back and smiled. “There’s time for other stories later.” He left the room, closing the door behind him, and Senka drifted over to take a seat on the floor next to Luna.

They’re lucky to have so much time together, huh? You know, to tell all the stories they ever want to.

You think so?

Yeah.

Every now and then we’re fortunate enough to meet someone, and it’s as though, no matter how much time we spend with them, it won’t be enough.

I know.

Does that make you sad?

Yeah. But I’m glad I met my best friend, even though I don't get to see him right now. We haven't had enough time together, but I'd rather be sad about that than not have met him at all, you know what I mean?

Yes. How did you get to be so wise at such a young age?

I dunno. I have lots of time to think.

That may be it. It’s late.

Wait! Are you coming back tomorrow night?

Of course!

What’s going to happen in the next part of the story?

Oh, now the adventure really begins.

Cool!

You and Teddy get some sleep.

We will.

Close your eyes. Goodnight.

'Night.

____________

Go to chapter 5