I'm Not Alone

Chapter 3

Danni pulled out her cell phone. She used the front facing camera to make sure her face still looked decent. There were not many tears, but even one could produce a black drip down her cheek.

She made her way up the stairs, and towards the front door. Pulling her shirt's sleeves over her hands, she slightly opened the door. She peered outside. Her mom and dad were towards the middle of the property. Elijah was taking the rest of the burgers off of the grill and putting them into a tin bin. Olivia was standing just feet away from Alan, who was preoccupied on his iPad.

Alan often carried his iPad with him, as did Elijah. They used them to take notes mostly, but one time, Danni caught a glimpse of some kind project they were working on. Whatever app they were using, it showed the invention in 3D. To her, it was mostly lines and shapes. She did not really care to understand what was going on. She was observant, but not about things that did not matter to her.

She walked up to the grill. The food did not look appealing to her. It was the usual grilling foods. Burgers, ribs, and chicken wings. Danni looked up at her dad and smiled. He looked at her, then directed his attention towards Alan. She contemplated talking to her mom but figured she would get the same reaction. Instead, she looked throughout the field, and searched for Tyler.

There he was, between the lab and trench. The property was basically split in half by the picnic tables in the middle. Danni's house was on one side, and Tyler's house on another. Next to Tyler's house, though, was Alan's lab. It looked a lot like a barn. Danni did not understand why he would want his lab to look like a barn, but she assumed it was because no one would look closely at a barn.

She began to walk towards Tyler. Her feet skipped, though she did not know why. Her body was expressing an excitement her mind and heart had not yet realized.

Tyler was sitting at the edge of the trench. It probably was not smart, but he liked to sit on the edge and let his feet dangle. His dad was always afraid that the ground would shift, and Tyler would fall in. But Alan was too preoccupied with his project to pay attention. The property was mostly cleared, but there were still a lot of trees in the area. Across the trench was a forest. Danni and Tyler would sometimes sit there and watch for wildlife. It was mostly deer, and the occasional beaver.

"Hey there, friend." Danni spoke down to Tyler, standing above him.

He looked back, and a smile instantly appeared on his face. "Hey! Sit with me?"

Danni nodded, and sat next to Tyler. "Happy birthday, Ty. Are you having a good day?"

"Well, you know how my dad is," he awkwardly laughed. "I wasn't allowed to have any guests over but honestly; I prefer when it's just you and me anyways."

Danni started to blush. "U-Uhm, yeah, me too." She stuttered.

"You know," Tyler began. "I know we have a no gift rule, but can I ask for a favor? Consider it a party favor, it's only fair, right?" He grinned.

She roller her eyes. "Alright bud, anything for you. What's up?"

"Well, I just want to have one night away. Where I can just talk, and forget about everything, and be with someone I like. It is almost 8PM, so soon it's going to be dark. The stars will be out. I was wondering if you'd want to stay out here with me?"

"You mean, like all night?" She asked.

He readjusted himself, worried about what she might say. "I mean, yeah. We can just sit here all night and talk about life, and our issues, and our dreams, and let everything else fade away. Does that sound okay?"

The butterflies in Danni's stomach caused a commotion. "Yeah, I think that sounds nice."

Tyler smiled and scooted closer to Danni. Their thighs touched. To them, it was incredible. Both of their bodies were reacting to the feeling of touch.

She kept her head forward, but her eyes would slip to the left and gaze at Tyler. He was not hot, or anything like that. Actually, he was quite skinny. He was more petite than the girls Danni would see at school. He had a blonde buzz-cut, and brown eyes. His skin was pale, and his clothing always attempted to cover as much of his body as they could. They often outgrew him, or rather he would lose weight and be too small for them. Over-sized jogging pants and sweaters filled his closet.

But Danni did not judge him for being frail. She liked him for his personality. She liked that he was almost normal, a lot like herself. For both of them, there were circumstances outside of their control that changed who they are.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked him.

He let out a long breath, as if he had been holding it this whole time. "I don't know, if I'm being honest."

"That's okay," she reassured him. "How's your dad doing?" She instantly regretted saying that, but it had just come out.

He chuckled. "He's fine. You know, the usual. He has been better, lately though."

"What do you mean?" She asked. Danni imagined herself with a beard and glasses; she felt like a therapist.

"Well you know my mom died almost a decade ago, he had been kind of withdrawn since then. I mean, I do not think I realized that when I was seven, but I have all these memories of happy times with my mother. But with him? A lot of them are him telling me to go away so he can work."

"But lately?" She pushed.

"Yeah, lately he's been better. This past year he has just been more there. I think ever since we found out, he realized it is now or never. He does not want to make the same mistakes he did with my mother."

"Yeah, that makes sense, and it's a good thing, right?" Danni inched her fingers closer to him. She wanted to grab his hand. To comfort him. To hold him. She wanted to do to him, what no one has done for her, love.

"It's good, but also bad. I don't want my dad to," he started to choke up.

Danni motioned for him to stop, but he sat straight.

"It's okay. I don't want my dad to love me just because of my diagnosis."

"I'm sure he doesn't. Our dads are just in their little own world. Besides, a diagnosis does not mean you are going to die anytime soon. Your mom lived for almost 40 years after hers, right?"

His lips formed a half smile. "You're right. I just feel alone sometimes."

"I get that, but you'll always have me." Danni pointed at herself and smiled in a weird way.

Tyler laughed. "You're cute."

Danni retreated, shaking her pointer finger in his direction. "No, no, no, no, bad."

"Kids!" Olivia yelled.

They both quickly shifted themselves and looked back.

Olivia was waving a knife in the air.

"What the fuck?" Danni whispered.

Tyler laughed. "They're cutting the cake, let's go."

Oh. Danni was immediately embarrassed.

They both stood up and walked towards the picnic tables. Tyler led the way, a few feet ahead of Danni. She always made sure to not be too close to him, so her father did not assume they were more than friends.

Danni and Tyler sat at the table, across from each other. Alan was on Danni's side, using his iPad to take a video. Olivia lifted the plastic covering off of the cake, and Elijah lit the two candles. The first candle was a big 1. The second a big 7. The cake was animal themed. Tyler thought it would be funny to pretend they lived on a farm that year, since his dad was always in the 'barn'. He even went as far to get some children masks from the nearby store. They had cows, sheep, and pigs. The pig mask was the cutest to Danni because it had a twirly thin nose sticking out of the middle.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Tyler, happy birthday to you," they sang to him.

Tyler sat there for a second, zoned out. He did not want this moment to end. But he knew it would not last forever. Knew he would not last forever.

Slowly, he blew out each candle.

"Yuck!" Elijah laughed. "Pretty sure you just spat all over the cake, dude."

The parents laughed. "Don't worry, it's not enough to contract anything." Olivia pointed out.

Danni could see in Tyler's eyes that he was not okay. In that moment, she decided she would spend the night with him in the field. Her goal was to make Tyler experience real happiness. To be glad he is alive. To feel alive. To appreciate life as if it were over. She truly cared about it.

Olivia pulled the cake towards her, then began to cut it. The lines were straight, and each piece was equal. Perks of having a surgeon around. The cake was kind of big for five people, especially since Danni and Tyler decided against having a slice.

"More for us," Alan celebrated. For whatever reason, he had thought that wearing a white lab coat was proper attire for a birthday party. He had short black hair, and just like Mr. Bates, Alan wore glasses and had a beard. His dress pants looked like they just finished at the dry cleaners. His shoes always shiny from being constantly polished.

Tyler and Danni looked at each other, internally scoffing. They both stood up.

"Where are you two going?" Elijah asked.

"We're just going to hang out tonight, dad."

"For how long?" His eyes squinted.

Olivia chimed in. "Oh, let them be. It is his birthday, and Danni is doing well in school. Let her have a night."

Alan shook his head in agreement.

"Alright, fine." Elijah waved them off.

The kids walked back towards the trench and sat down. They let their legs dangle off the edge and rested their backs on the ground.

For the first hour or so, they just kept silent. Eventually, their parents broke the silence to tell them they were heading in. Tyler and Danni waved.

"Well, now that they aren't watching and listening, what do you wanna do?" Tyler asked.

Danni did not know if he was insinuating something, or just asking. "Uhm, up to you." It was easier for her to let him decide.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?" Tyler asked.

She did not know what to think. Do people usually consent for hand holding?

Tyler saw the confusion on her face. "I'm sorry, that was weird."

"No," she almost yelled. "It's not, I'd actually like that." She put her hand out. Tyler smiled and held it. He was soft, but a bit bony. Their fingers interlocked. Danni did not know what she expected, but his hands were cold, and she really enjoyed that.

They smiled at each other. Tyler pointed up. "Look, stars!"

It was dark now. The property was away from the city, so it was a different kind of dark. Extra dark. It was difficult to see past each other, but when looking up, the stars acted like small nightlights in the sky. For a while, they just enjoyed the dark atmosphere, the lights in the sky, and the sounds of the forest. At one point, they could hear the water rushing at the bottom of the trench. It had to be at least a hundred feet down. Most people would be scared to be that close to that kind of drop. They were different. Maybe if they fell, it would not matter. Maybe they would be happy if they fell. Maybe they would feel alive for the first time.

That is what Danni wanted at least. She wanted to be happy. And she wanted Tyler to experience that same happiness. She had a few ideas on how to make that happen, but none that was practical enough to be executed.

Tyler squeezed her hand tightly.

"Is everything okay?" Danni asked, turning her body towards him.

"Yeah, sorry, I just wanted to feel closer."

Danni smiled. Somehow, she found the courage to move closer to him. She was on her side now and put her hand over him. Danni pulled him closer to her body.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"You wanted to be closer," she blushed, but he could not tell. "So, hold me closer."

Danni had not cuddled someone before, though she decided it was quite nice.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Tyler asked.

She gulped and tried to say yes but her throat was dry. Instead, she nodded.

"I know I've said that I like you, but I haven't really said that I like like you. I like you as more than a friend, Danni."

She could feel the sweat in his palms. Or maybe it was hers. She could not tell.

"I like like you too, Ty." She looked into his eyes, and decided she was going to draw him later.

They both smiled. Slowly, their faces grew closer to each other. Danni was shaking, Tyler's breath was heavy. They interlocked their legs, bringing one another as close as possible. Danni felt something press against her thigh, Tyler felt pokes against his chest. Tyler closed his eyes and took the initiative. He grabbed Danni's cheek with his hand and pulled her head into his.

Their noses collided.

They fell back to the ground, both of them red in the face. Embarrassment flooded their bodies.

Then, they broke out laughing.

Letting out long sighs, they touched fingers again.

"I wouldn't change a damned thing about this, Danni." Tyler said.

"Yeah, me either."

"You wanna just do this forever?" He asked.

"What," she teased. "Suck at kissing?"

"No, just lie here and forget the world."

"I'm down. But we're gonna need snacks."

"I almost wish I had taken that slice of cake." He joked.

"Not me, it was covered in your spit!" She could not control herself.

"Oh yeah?" He rolled over. "You were just about to be all in this spit."

"Ewwwwww," she made a face as he licked his teeth and gums.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Tyler stood up. "Let's play a game."

"Mhmmm?"

"You're good at running, right? How about, I wear a mask and chase you. If I catch you, I get a second try on that kiss?"

She rolled her eyes. We do not need to play a stupid game for a second chance at that, just do it. But she did not want to say that. She did not want to be too upfront.

"Alright, deal. But I get to pick your mask!"

His eyebrow rose. "Okay, which one?"

Danni's smile was evil. "The most ridiculous looking one, the pig mask!"

He laughed. "Alright, deal."

Tyler reached down to Danni. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up. They both walked towards the picnic tables, this time together, instead of her a few feet behind. No one to hide from this time. They were all alone. Conveniently, their parents had cleaned everything up but left the masks and other party favors.

Danni picked out the brightest pink one she could find. They were identical, but she pretended. She handed the mask to Ty and he put it on, pulling the string around his head. Jokingly, she flicked the little twirly nose.

Little did he know, the mask gave her a huge advantage. She was already fast, and could easily outrun Tyler, but he was smart, and would come up with something to trick her and catch her. The mask was bright enough to be seen in the dark, and it was shiny, so the light from the moon and starts caused it to produce a reflection. Even if he did not chase her, she would still see where he is at, at all times.

There is no way I could lose this challenge. Normally, she would not lose a bet like this. But Danni wanted to lose. Of course, she is going to have as much fun with it as she can, but at the end of night, she wanted that kiss just as much as Tyler did. And because of how her parents are, this may be her only chance to finally be alone and real with another human being. She did not really care that he was a boy, or anything, she just wanted him because he was human. It would be another bullet point crossed off of her never ending 'things to do' list.

"I'm going to count to 10, then start chasing you. So get ready!" Tyler warned her.

Quickly, Danni raced through the field. She ran down the edge of the trench and hid close to the barn.

"4."

He will never find me.

"3."

I hope Alan does not see me. He would be pissed if he knew I was this close to his lab.

"2."

Maybe I should move.

"1. Here I come!" Tyler yelled.

Danni decided to move. She went behind the barn and over to the side, closer to Tyler's house. She figured it would be a good place to hide seeing that all the lights were off. She ducked behind a bedroom window. For a minute, she contemplated sneaking inside. There is no way Ty would find me in here. I could even text him a photo of me in his bed. She decided to try to open the window. It budged but made a slight creaking noise. She pulled herself up.

"Who's there?!" a woman gasped.

Quickly, she jumped down and ran to the other side of the house.

Damn, did not know that was Alan's room. Didn't know he was banging someone either. She laughed and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

She could hear Tyler faintly calling her name from the distance.

Using the dirt road outside of their property, she trotted over to her house. This dude is never going to catch me. Maybe I should just make this easy and go back.

She reached her out and scanned the property. Danni hoped to see the reflection of the pig mask. But couldn't' She decided to call out to him.

"Oh, boy in the mask, where are you?" Is boy okay? Maybe I should have said man. "I mean, man in the mask, where are you?"

Tyler did not respond.

She walked to the middle of the field and sat at the picnic tables. "I'll be here when you're ready to kiss me!" Danni mocked.

A few minutes passed. It soon got very eerie. Suddenly she was startled. What was that? She thought she had heard someone scream. You are just alone in the dark, you are fine, Danni. Calm down.

Danni distracted herself by playing with the masks. Her body calmed down, and she soon realized how tired she was. She checked her phone. 4AM?! How, when!? She yawned. Should I just go inside and go to bed? No, I'll wait for Ty.

"I'm going to fall asleep at this damned table if you don't hurry up!"

Tyler did not answer.

At some point, Danni's eyes got tired. Her body got weak.

She passed out at the picnic tables.