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Girl on the Third Floor Review

Home is where hell is

By Chris DeePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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Even veteran horror fans have to admit there’s nothing quite like a really good haunted house film, especially if it promises to bring anything new to the table. Directed by Travis Stevens (Starry Eyes), Girl on the Third Floor certainly seems promising enough, especially in light of the positive reviews it received when it made the festival rounds in 2019. Now that it’s officially landed on streaming giant Netflix, anyone looking to check out a little something new on a random Saturday afternoon can evaluate it personally.

Is it actually worth it though, or are you better off picking something else to fill that spare 93 minutes you’ve got on your hands? Girl on the Third Floor stars former UFC fighter, CM Punk as Don Koch; Trieste Kelly Dunn as Don’s wife, Liz; and Sarah Brooks as the mysterious and sultry Sarah Yates.

Don Koch (Punk) is an extremely flawed former lawyer and husband looking to start over away from the pressures of the big city alongside his pregnant wife, Liz (Dunn). What better way to do that than by purchasing and restoring a beautiful old home in the Chicago suburbs? Don decides he’d personally like to do the job and relocates ahead of Liz in order to get everything ready, but he quickly realizes that something just isn’t right.

Just about every attempt Don makes to alter the house results in something eerie happening. Walls bleed, suspect-looking fluids ooze from the light sockets, and random marbles keep appearing out of nowhere before rolling all over the floor. And as if all that’s not enough, Don’s new neighbor Ellie (Karen Woditsch) hints repeatedly that the house has a dark history. She refuses to come inside when invited and even suggests that he leave.

Then there’s Don’s other new neighbor Sarah, a beautiful blonde who’s clearly sexually interested in him. Flawed as he is, Don eventually responds to Sarah’s advances and sleeps with her, leading to even more strangeness. However, in addition to the house obviously being haunted, Sarah isn’t quite what she seems either.

As haunted house movies go, Girl on the Third Floor strikes a really decent balance between treading familiar territory and thinking outside the box. Fans of this type of film who are hoping for plenty of odd sounds, strange entities, and mysterious happenings definitely won’t be disappointed. Neither will those who like their haunting movies a little on the gory side. However, there’s enough of a psychological aspect to what’s going on to keep things interesting as well. The visual effects help add to the impact of Don’s situation, and when the occurrences at the root of the house’s issues are eventually revealed, they’re interesting enough not to disappoint.

There’s a lot about Girl on the Third Floor that is reminiscent of other similarly surreal genre films as well. The Shining comes to mind, especially in regards to the way the events in the house seem to coincide with the main character’s own slow slide into insanity. There’s a touch of Eyes Wide Shut thrown in there for good measure as well, especially when it comes to the sheer strangeness of the atmosphere. To top it all off, all of the actors turn in great performances, particularly CM Punk as the tortured, difficult-to-like Don.

All in all, Girl on the Third Floor is a really solid film, and those who have come to trust Netflix to supply them with fresh, thought-provoking takes on horror are unlikely to be disappointed. It’s absolutely worth seeing, especially if you’re looking for something more interesting than the typical haunted house fare.

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