Somewhere I Belong

Where exactly is... HERE?

I wish I knew but this is only a wish. I wonder how many of those actually come true, definitely not this.

I've had a tough time making friends, for a while I thought "you're just depressed" but unless that takes on forever that isn't the case. But then making friends wasn't really the problem I'm probably lying to myself, I'm probably lying to everyone else so I'll try to keep the truth at bay, however I understand it.

I unintentionally do things differently even when I don't mean to and eventually such acts get some attention, something that is not of my interest. People love to party, I am a fan of loud music. But I don't enjoy partying as much as everyone else does. I see nothing wrong with that at all but it becomes a problem when everyone else around you does, then you stand out in a not so glamorous way.

"Are you trying to look different?" People might ask. For starters this is the kind of questions I wouldn't have an answer for. Life is so much interesting this way is it not?

No hard time making friends - just hard time keeping them

How lonely would the above image look if it were a person?

Just lonely? I thought as much. See, sometimes (turns out to be often) I just need my space and my space alone and people may not get that. Usually people don't get that. I end up misunderstood and misinterpreted and probably a few more words that I can use mis before them which I cannot think of at the moment.

Picture me like those people in movies that choose to live alone with a bunch of cats and seem to be fine with it. But, the obvious difference here is that I don't own half a dozen cats and I'm always surrounded by super energetic people and I expect them to understand all of this which seems like a bit too much for anyone to get. I unintentionally made this a routine. Sometimes I just disappear for a while and reappear out of the blue.

Friendships need some investment just like most things in life do. This investment which in most cases involves time and is mainly fueled by the watch usually comes from two opposites sides. Just like relationships when one side stops investing their time compared to the usual it starts wearing off especially if it isn't justified. I believe this is how I've went from best friend, to close friend, distant and eventually somebody that you used to know.

It's not like I'm somebody you cannot count on I'm somebody you should understand first.

If you knew how it ends would you even try to start a fight?

How important is it to fit in? Why do we even try to fit in? How important is it to be part of something?

We all have that friend who isn't a friend but knows how to get in touch with us because we're useful to them or the other way around. That's just life!

Some people find you not so talkative, and others may not recognize that side of you, why is that?

Some people find you rude, and others may think you're very likable person isn't life the best?

We all know people who keep in touch because of our line of work, people who know where we've been and some know where we're going.

How long does it take for you to make new friends in a new neighborhood?

A week, two, three, a month, a few or maybe a year?

Maybe you don't even get to make friends at all but eventually you become known for something. Some people find you not so talkative, and others may not recognize that side of you, why is that?

Maybe I'm not so talkative, maybe I'm antisocial maybe I never did fit in but maybe people just don't know much about me. Maybe I take this privacy thing way too far.