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Lifetime Review: 'Here Kills the Bride'

A potentially deadly whirlwind wedding is at the center of this underwhelming Lifetime thriller.

By Trevor WellsPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
3

Synopsis:

Ever since a traumatic childhood accident, Jasmine Lopez (Erin Pineda) has been a bit overprotective of her brother Carlos (Fernando Belo). So when she learns that he's planning to marry the girlfriend he's only known for a few months, she has more than a few reservations about it. Carlos and her parents assure Jasmine that Grace (Ashlee Füss ) is a lovely woman and that she has nothing to worry about. Little do they know that Grace has a dark past and a psychotic desire to have the man of her dreams--even if she has to kill to get him. Will Jasmine be able to expose Grace and open her family's eyes to the truth before it's too late to stop the wedding?

Story:

Advertised by Reel One Entertainment as "inspired by the highly acclaimed thriller The Perfect Bride," Here Kills the Bride certainly borrows a lot from the 1991 TV movie. But whereas the 90's film was charming and entertaining with how over-the-top it gets, this 2022 offering plays it too safe. Sure, there are some wilder moments, with the best being Grace's tendency to go crazy whenever someone calls her crazy. But even with that, Grace can't even begin to hold a candle to The Perfect Bride's Stephanie.

Even without comparing it to its Terrence O'Hara-directed counterpart, Here Kills the Bride is immensely average. Grace does all the usual Lifetime villainess antics while Jasmine does the expected routine of trying to convince her family that Grace is dangerous, only to be ignored and chastised. It all comes to a head in what could've been an intense climax, but instead ends up feeling as rushed as Carlos and Grace's relationship. With so much recycled content and so few histrionics to liven it up, Here Kills the Bride suffers from a lack of Lifetimey flair.

Characters:

The characters are a mixed bag, as a fair amount of them will have you perpetually annoyed. Carlos' frustratingly blind trust in Grace and disregard for his sister's misgivings can at least be explained by him being lovestruck. His older and supposed-to-be-wiser parents engaging in the same behavior isn't so defensible. Matriarch Brenda is the worst of the lot, between her increasingly cold demeanor towards Jasmine and how she seems to treat Grace as more of a daughter than her actual daughter. Even wedding planner Winston (an otherwise solid character) gets in on the "snidely brushing off legitimate concerns" party with his assistant Vanessa.

Jasmine stands out as the only likable member of the Lopez clan, being quick to realize that her family knows nothing about the woman Carlos is about to marry and never ignoring her instincts as she discovers more red flags about Grace. Her concern for her brother and frustration at being accused of letting her anxiety make her paranoid/"looking for trouble where there is none" serve to make Jasmine even more sympathetic. The same applies to put-upon assistant Vanessa, as she faces the same kind of dismissal as Jasmine from her boss and her deadbeat boyfriend. Side characters Cassandra and Karen bring some spice to the proceedings and Jasmine's friend/co-worker Harmony deserves a big shoutout. Whereas everyone else in Jasmine's life is indifferent to her feelings and condescendingly suggests she's slipping mentally, Harmony never doubts her friend or gives her grief for her rightful suspicions.

Acting:

Erin Pineda stands out as the most consistent actor of the cast. While her performance isn't perfect, she does a fine job selling Jasmine as a loving and eagle-eyed sister desperately trying to stop her brother from making a grave mistake. Unfortunately, everyone else's performances are on the unsteady side. Ashlee Füss is efficient whenever Grace is putting on a show of being as innocent as a daffodil, which proves to be essential in keeping Carlos and his parents from looking like complete idiots for falling under her spell. But when it comes to the scenes where Grace lets her crazy side out, Füss's delivery buckles and often feels forced rather than ferocious. Not helping matters is how Grace's villain dialogue ranges from OK to laughable.

Fernando Belo, however, is perpetually stiff as the incredibly naïve Carlos, with his onscreen parents (Emiliano Díez and Bertila Damas as Jose and Brenda Lopez) being only marginally better. In all fairness, though, the script doesn't do them any favors, what with their characters getting little to do other than gush about Grace and ignore all of Jasmine's attempts to talk some sense into their empty heads. The supporting cast does serviceable work, even if none of them are able to turn their character into an unexpected dark horse. Aaron Goldenberg and Clark Sarullo do their best to bring on the sassy fun as gay wedding planner Winston and snarky florist Cassandra, as does Caia Coley as a similarly snarky woman from Grace's past. On the more subdued half of the character list, Michelle Pokopac and Shakirah DeMesier each do well as Vanessa and Harmony, Jasmine's two allies who are unfortunately limited in how much they're able to help her.

Overall:

While it presumably aimed to be on the same level as the Lifetime thriller that precedes it by 31 years, Here Kills the Bride comes up incredibly short of matching The Perfect Bride's lovably chaotic energy. The acting is off, many of the characters are a combination of bland and aggravating, and the plot is as flat as expired champagne. There are some bits of fun to be had here and there and the better cast members do what they can to pick up the slack left by their lesser co-stars. Erin Pineda deserves a lot of credit for at least making the main protagonist someone you can root for from beginning to end. So for all of its near-lethal mistakes, Here Kills the Bride avoids hitting rock bottom. Instead, it settles for being a "meh" movie best reserved for when you're doing housework/stuck sick in bed/simply bored out of your skull and in need of something to watch that's moderately tolerable, but doesn't require your undivided attention.

Score: 5 out of 10 Parisian designers.

movie
3

About the Creator

Trevor Wells

Aspiring writer and film lover: Lifetime, Hallmark, indie, and anything else that strikes my interest. He/him.

Link to Facebook

Twitter: @TrevorWells98

Instagram: @trevorwells_16

Email: [email protected]

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Comments (1)

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  • Clyde E. Dawkins2 years ago

    Very awesome review!!!

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