IN APPRECIATION OF NORMA Eric J Drysdale

If one was able to apply certain criteria to who would make the ideal mate at a young age, that was garnered by and resulted from experience, perspective and wisdom, how different would most of our lives be, and how many choices made and later regretted, would be rejected at the outset? With the benefit of six, seven, even eight decades, what key points would be on that list compared with one made in our twenties? Indeed, in all likelihood no list would have been made in our twenties for we would have been too busy responding to lust and the satisfaction of pursuit and capture to write down the qualities we should seek in the person who would be the ideal companion to accompany us on Life’s journey.

In fact that can be summed up perfectly in Norma’s observation:

“If my foresight was as good as my hindsight I would be better off by a damned sight.”

Norma and I are fortunate, not lucky, but fortunate, that we are completely on the same page. We like the same things: books, movies, music, Scrabble and selected quiz shows, and equally important, don’t like the same things: sport, either live or on TV and reality TV programmes.

We both read over a hundred books a year and each have read over 5,000 books. Ever since I was 15 I have recorded and rated every book I read and movie I see, a process which, with computers and spreadsheets is far more easily updated and maintained. Both our tastes are eclectic and if you scanned through the list of books read in any year you will find a mix of fiction and non-fiction, the fiction ranging through general, literary, mystery, crime, thriller, historical and romance, adding in political for me, and in the non-fiction area, history, biography and the movies. A big percentage of the books and DVDs come from the library. I have set up three spreadsheets for books, movies and TV series, which enables me to easily identify and keep track of requested items. This, in turn has now resulted in me now being known as Norma’s book pimp, a title of which I am understandably proud.

A normal evening, particularly with the advent of COVID-19 early in 2020 when we decided to start watching a movie every night, we select a movie and TV series from our DVD collection or one borrowed from the library, then about 11:30 we play our nightly game of Scrabble.

So who is Norma, and why, from thousands of people I have met over seven decades is she the loveliest person I have ever met and the one who has had the most profound impact upon me, and demonstrates daily routines and habits that I know, if embraced, will enhance the quality of my life?

Norma was born in Sydney in 1934, so, as we say with wry humour, she is a contemporary of Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Shirley MacLaine and Sophia Loren, all of whom we admire greatly. She has a remarkable ability to connect with people of all ages; children, men and women. In some indefinable way she very quickly puts them at ease. Somehow they sense she is genuinely interested in them and anything discussed will remain private. I go off to get us a coffee, returning five or ten minutes later to find her talking to someone at an adjacent table. After they or we leave she will say with a smile: “He came here from Italy in 1960, he has four children and 12 grandchildren. He is a retired architect and had bypass surgery three years ago, but is fine now. Anything else you want to know?” She adds with a laugh. A passing comment about a forthcoming birthday will result in a birthday card next year, much to the bewilderment of the person. She is completely transparent and has no agenda, no objective to ingratiate herself, but forges enduring friendships, many that have lasted for decades.

She is possessed of unimpeachable integrity, her word is her bond and she sees herself as both responsible and accountable for all she does. Honesty, honour, discipline, punctuality patriotism, “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you” and reaching out a kind hand in support of the less fortunate are an intrinsic part of her makeup, as surely as the rouge and lipstick she applies in the morning. We have never lied to each other and have never had reason to. These character traits form the basis of any valued and enduring relationship and are some of the reasons why she so quickly connects with people across the spectrum.

The following quotes are relative and further illuminate the essence of her being:

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”

C S Lewis

‘This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.’

William Shakespeare – Hamlet

– “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

“Your life is determined by the sum of the choices that YOU make.” Frank Sonnenberg

- “To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” Douglas Adams

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” Bob Marley

“Goodness is about character – integrity, honesty, kindness generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else it is about how we treat other people.” Dennis Prager

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal”. Steve Mariboli

I keep a journal, not a diary, a journal – irregular entries that capture significant events, observations and miscellaneous thoughts. In the words of Jim Rohn, my favourite motivational speaker, with whom I was honoured to spend three days in the 1980s: “If a life is worth living, it is worth recording.” Following are two extracts from my journal, which I also posted on Facebook:

26 April 2020.

Thank you Norma.

Another week hunting and gathering. I am most fortunate that Norma is back at the cave grinding the wild wheat, rice and corn to use to bake bread or thicken zebra or bison stew. She also gathers wood to ensure the fire at the mouth of the cave, which we use for cooking and to deter lions and other predators, never goes out. She scrapes the meat and sinews off the skin of recently killed game. She also cures the meat so we have something to eat when the game is too fleet of foot or lying quietly in the shadows across the veldt, hidden from my eyes, spear or arrow. And in the winter we will have the now soft hide to warm us near the glowing embers of the fire.

In this, a different age, with different challenges, I am no less appreciative of Norma’s culinary expertise and the fine meals she prepares for us each day when my most dangerous activity is to rise early and join the oldies between seven and eight in the morning at Woolies or Coles to re-stock the larder and ensure we have enough provisions.

Thank you Norma for the care and love with which you overlay every day, none of it goes unnoticed.

Your Hunter and Gatherer, Eric.

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17 October 2021

Norma’s birthday.

This is the card I gave her, which I then posted on FB.

Not surprisingly there were lovely responses from all and sundry.

Today is Norma's birthday and on reflection I decided to post a copy of the card I gave her. Many of you know, love and appreciate Norma for her many rare qualities - others second hand from my comments or observations, and would endorse what I said 100%.

17th October 2021

To my Dear Norma,

For all your innate and automatic kindnesses to me and so many people you know and meet, even for the first time, may this day, your 87th birthday, be special for you. And in the morning of each day in the years ahead may you come to a moment of realization of how special you are to so many people. You are indeed one of the special ones who, without a moment’s thought, enrich the lives of others.

In so many ways you are the loveliest person I have ever met.

Happy birthday, Norma – Happy Days!!!

All my love,

Eric.

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And to finish, the dedication of my novel THE PRICE TO PAY, which will be on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. about the middle of the year, encapsulates what I feel about Norma and why she is the most important person in my life.

“TO MY DEAR NORMA, WHO EMBODIES SO MANY OF ADRIAN’S QUALITIES, AND WHO, IN A THOUSAND YEARS, IS THE BEST MATE I COULD FIND.”