A Different Brand of Love: What to Watch If 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' Captivated You

What’s in a gaze? And what is it, to know a person?

This is the question that ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ (Céline Sciamma) explores, a love story told almost entirely through the intense glances between the two main characters.

To give a brief snapshot of the plot, a Parisienne artist (Marianne) is commissioned by the Comtesse to paint a portrait of her daughter (Héloïse) for a Milanese suitor. Marianne must do so in secret, observing her only during their walks and painting her from memory so that Héloïse doesn’t discover her ulterior motive. The tension between the two of them as they walk together is electric and a burgeoning connection is created that results in an implosive relationship.

At first, this story begins with an artist painting their subject, observing, but as the lines on a canvas form a face, the film asks the question: who is it that is being observed? Nothing here is one-sided, and we see this also in the symbolism within the film, set in the eighteenth century on a remote island off the coast of Brittany, the jagged cliffs and desolation transforming into something brighter as the story unravels.

"Do all lovers feel like they're inventing something?"

A key aspect this movie that I want to talk about quickly, is the vignette of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. To those unfamiliar, this is a Greek myth about Orpheus and his wife, Eurydice, a nymph, who dies from a snake bite. Overcome with grief, he goes to the underworld to beg for her life back in front of Hades and Persephone. Charmed by his playing of the lyre, they grant him his wish on the condition that she would follow him only, walking behind him on the way out, but he would not be allowed to turn to see her until he had left the underworld. Yet, unable to trust the gods, he turns just moments before they are out of the caves of the underworld, and she is lost to him forever in life, trapped. He is unable to return again while alive, and thus, the lovers are separated.

And of course, as the movie gives power to the female voice, it asks: what did Eurydice think? In one scene, Adele says Orpheus turns around himself, choosing the memory of her. Héloïse counters, perhaps she was the one who told him to turn around, wanting herself to be preserved in this love they shared. The futility and all-consuming nature of love that this myth presents is reflected in this movie, directly paralleled by Héloïse and Marianne. We know, as an audience, that there will be a separation, and we sense, that they, the characters also know and this adds to the gut-wrenching beauty of it all, so sad and so poetic (and so addictive for us as an audience).

So, as you can probably gather, I loved this movie, my fondness for it amplified also, by a beautiful soundtrack (I did have Vivaldi’s ‘Summer’ on loop for hours after watching this) and cinematography that grasped the sensuality and tension of the scenes.

So for those of you who liked 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire', what other films would I recommend?

The following list contains films that feature a different brand of love. They’re the movies that leave you yearning with a certain melancholy at the beauty of a love story that somehow transcends time.

I decided to narrow down on five overarching concepts:

1. Inexplicable Connection: All of the movies below feature an inexplicable connection between the love interests or friends, an ineffable force that draws them together. This is a connection that seems to transcend their stations in life and personal situations. It's something that cannot be ignored, a certain magnetism that can only be described as cinematic. So many times an audience can see a couple that is so clearly meant to be together, even if they themselves don't know it. Then we have situations of ‘right person, wrong time’ - the idea of a missed connection which I find very poignant. The movies on this list all explore these notions, wandering into the ‘what could have been’ of it all.
2. Queer Love: ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ is a depiction of queer love which is often excluded from romance movie shortlists. Some of the movies I will recommend will not only mention queer love at a passing glance, but rather have it as the central relationship.
3. Historical Romance: The urgency of this love between Marianne and Héloïse is mainly due to her upcoming betrothal, the metaphorical ‘death’ that Héloïse expects in marriage. Thus, the historical context is a key part of their love story, making it a perfect basis for other recommendations. Also, if you really, really love period outfits, this one's for you.
4. Foreign Language: In the most non-snobby way possible, if you aren’t watching foreign language films, you’re really missing out. There’s just certain nuances in foreign films that can really add something to a movie-viewing experience, and it can also really help to diversify the types of media that you consume. ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ is a French film, so I’ve included some other films that aren’t in English.
5. Bittersweet: These are romances that aren’t black and white. We all know the typical story of two people meeting, overcoming challenges and ending up happy together. The relationships within the movies on this list are sometimes atypical and face their fair share of challenges, some of which just cannot be overcome. Is this bleak or realistic? Well, that’s up to you to decide. These films may leave you with a certain wistfulness and a feeling that teeters between happiness and sadness. Like I said, it’s a different brand of love.

I will also introduce using highly specific emotions that these films somehow evoke. So, if you want to experience:

THE FEELING OF FALLING:

THE HANDMAIDEN (2016)

"Is this the companionship they write about in books?"

SNAPSHOT:

Set in Korea during Japanese occupation, a con man, with the help of orphan pickpocket Sook-hee plans to swindle a wealthy Japanese heiress of her inheritance by wooing her, marrying her and then having her committed to an asylum.

Inspired by the novel ‘Fingersmith’ by Sarah Walters, this is a lesbian thriller filled with manipulation and deceit, but somehow, it still finds the time to portray the tenderness in the shared moments between the two main characters, Sook-hee and Hideko. We see the characters struggling with morality and identity, questioning their place in the world as women, and trying to work out how they fit together.

Why will you like this?

A long con, gorgeous period outfits and slow burn romance - what is not to like?

This film has won many accolades, and that isn’t unearned - it deserves them all. Language, here, is a keystone, with the characters flitting between Japanese and Korean and the quick switching between languages adds another layer to the already rich plot.

With simply stunning cinematography and a soundtrack that builds and amplifies the emotions in each scene, it perfectly depicts how two people from completely different worlds somehow are able to overcome their differences and actually connect. They work through their trauma together, they are a team, and finally, they find companionship. Also, like ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’, we see a rebellion against the patriarchy that attempts to subdue these women and it's simply incendiary.

All in all, this is indeed a true masterpiece of sensuality.

*Be warned, this does feature some rather adult scenes and violence. It’s certainly not gratuitous, but it is rather visceral. Have a look here for a more detailed breakdown.

THE FEELING OF A NAME ECHOING IN YOUR MIND:

LOVE LETTER (1995)

"How are you? I am fine."

SNAPSHOT:

If you look at any list of recommendations for Japanese romantic movies, I can guarantee that ‘Love Letter’ will be on it. This film seems to exist in a paradox of youthful folly and darker themes like lost love. After all, it does begin with a loss.

Hiroko Watanabe, grieving the loss of her fiance Itsuki Fujii in a sudden mountaineering accident, impulsively decides to send a letter to his childhood home from the address on his high school yearbook.

Meanwhile, Itsuki Fujii (homonymous to Hiroko’s husband), who had gone to the same high school, receives the letter, and she decides to reply, setting off a chain of events that results in a strange relationship forming between the two women as they attempt to unravel the mystery of each other’s lives and the connection to Itsuki Fujii they both share.

Why will you like this?

This is a poignant film. If I had to summarise ‘Love Letter’ in two words, I would say it was about missed connections. There is a constant ‘What if?’ that pops up along the course of the film, from the relationship between the two Itsuki Fujii’s and also at the senselessness of loss, and this creates a bittersweet tone that is sustained from the beginning till the end. Like in ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’, we know there will be a separation, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

While not outrightly romantic, there are some heart fluttering scenes (library scene anyone?) and the beauty of Japan in wintertime just adds to the beautiful atmosphere. It’s such a calming film that is best watched on an overcast Sunday afternoon, or a snowy day off. ‘Love Letter’ gave birth to some iconic scenes, such as the moment where Hiroko screams Itsuki’s name across a mountain (parodied by Twice in their music video ‘What is Love?”).

Watch this if you want some light viewing that covers the idea of being unable to stop thinking about that special someone, or if you want to reminisce about youth.

THE FEELING OF EYES MEETING IN A CROWDED TRAIN CAR:

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004)

"I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be."

SNAPSHOT:

How can a list about inexplicable connection be complete without ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’? This cult classic revolves around the relationship between Joel Barish and Clementine Kruczynski. He discovers that she has had her memories about their time together removed, and heartbroken, he chooses to undergo the same procedure. When they meet again, they are drawn to each other but have no recollection of their time together.

This film revolves around a fractured relationship. What do you do with the time you spent together when a relationship ends? Can you ever decide to try again? Despite having ‘forgotten’ each other, there is still a force that pulls Joel and Clementine together, a sense of intimacy despite the surreal events and maddening forces surrounding them (what else can one expect from a Charlie Kaufman story?).

Why will you like this?

Two people finding each other in this crazy world? Forgetting each other and then somehow meeting again? It seems inexplicable.

You’re bound to see screencaps and quotes from this film floating around on social media, and that just speaks volumes about the mark it left on the millions that watched it. There’s something relatable in the poignancy of the whole storyline, and the cinematic, somewhat absurd scenes that are created as Joel clings to the memory of Clementine are enthralling. Like ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’, the memory of love and the person you once loved is central to ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’. The soundtrack also cannot be overlooked of course, crucial in setting the tone of the movie.

This is a truly touching movie that you won’t regret watching, and if you’ve already watched this? Then you’ll know first hand that it’s probably worth another viewing.

THE FEELING OF HOLDING EACH OTHER IN THE DARK:

ATONEMENT (2007)

"Come Back. Come Back To Me."

SNAPSHOT:

Atonement is a film that is filled with twists and turns, but the brief affair between Cecelia and Robbie is a shining beacon that shows how love overcomes. Based on Ian McEwan’s novel, it follows the relationship between working class Robbie Turner, the housekeeper’s son and wealthy Cecilia Tallis, both recent graduates of Cambridge University.

They are impeded by Cecilia’s younger sister Briony who misinterprets a moment that she witnesses between the two of them at a fountain, and this sets a series of tragic consequences in play, resulting in Robbie’s imprisonment. Though separated, the lovers meet again on the cusp of World War II and their story continues.

Why will you like this?

Firstly, let’s get this out of the way: you’ll get to see Keira Knightley in that iconic green dress that is now a part of cinema history.

In terms of plot, this is a profoundly moving tale that is filled to the brim with yearning. Robbie and Cecilia don’t have much time together, partly due to the differences in their stations and also war, so it makes the moments that they can share all the more meaningful to both them and us. The chemistry between the two leads is electric and it speaks to the vulnerability and beauty of love.

This film is completely gut-wrenching (so much so that you won't find me rewatching anytime soon) and compelling and will make you weep, so if you’re into feeling completely shattered, please do not pass this up.

THE FEELING OF A FINAL GOODBYE:

HER (2013)

"I just want you to know, there will be a piece of you in me always, and I'm grateful for that."

SNAPSHOT:

Imagine falling in love with your Alexa, but her name is Samantha. That's it, that's the plot.

Well, no, there's more to it than that. 'Her' tells the story of Theodore, who, heartbroken after the breakdown of his marriage, acquires an artificially intelligent operating system to help him with his work. He is fascinated by the idea that it can develop its own 'personality' and as time passes, the friendship between him and the OS (now Samantha) blossoms into something more. She helps him out with his working and personal life, and yet, the relationship between them also has the potential to destroy much of Theodore's other relationships.

Why will you like this?

I'll admit, it's a bit of a strange premise, but what exemplifies inexplicable connection more than a love that develops between man and machine? Like some of the other films on this list, we know this is ill-fated, but we can't bring ourselves to care, constantly torn between being slightly confused and feeling sympathy for the lonely Theodore - you just want to know more, and that is what makes it so enjoyable.

This world is similar yet different from our world, and the camera captures a Los Angeles that encapsulates this idea. If you want to see a beautiful colour palette and glittering cityscapes, "Her' certainly provides. The cinematography in this film is perhaps, its best feature.

I would recommend watching this if you're in the mood for a quirky take on unconventional love.

THE FEELING OF BUTTERFLIES:

BLACKMIRROR: SAN JUNIPERO (Season 3, Episode 4)

"I wasn't prepared for you."

SNAPSHOT:

For fear of spoilers and taking away the all important moment of realisation from you possible viewers, I will have to keep this snapshot of the plot short.

This episode is set in San Junipero, a beach-town that is soaked with good times, booze and sex - oh, and it's the year 1987. It follows Yorkie and Kelly, two new arrivals to the town who slowly begin to fall for each other.

Why will you like this?

This is not what you expect from an episode of Blackmirror, and thank goodness for that, because it is also absolutely beautiful. Mind-boggling? Yes, after all it is Blackmirror, but again, I can't say much without giving away the important details. This is a futuristic love story for the ages.

It exemplifies the notion of never giving up on finding love, choosing love and holding on to it (even beyond death), with a healthy dose of Eighties music, simulated reality and stunning visuals. The chemistry between the leads perfectly conveys the joy and the agonies of their relationship.

This is a story that will soothe you and give you hope for the future - that's all I can say. It's one of those episodes that I do wish I could forget watching just so I could experience it for the first time again, but then again, the same could be said for all of the movies on this list.

THE FEELING OF A NIGHT-TIME BUS RIDE IN A BUSTLING CITY:

HAPPY TOGETHER (1997)

"Turns out lonely people are all the same."

SNAPSHOT:

From the director of ‘Chungking Express’ (another must watch), this movie is about the breakdown of a relationship between a gay couple who go on holiday from Hong Kong to Argentina. There, they realise their relationship just isn’t working, but they don’t have the money to return home to Hong Kong and so, Ho Po-Wing becomes a rent boy and Lai Yiu-Fai begins working at a tango bar. Both of them are connected and must find a way to navigate the new path that their relationship has taken while stuck in stasis in Argentina.

A little bit different to the typical love story, it shows how some connections need to be broken to escape the cycles of hurt that they can create.

Why will you like this?

While the other films on this list explore the pain of separation, this one delves into the liberation you can find within separation - how it is sometimes needed in the face of volatility and codependency. It explores themes of homesickness and the loneliness that can follow a breakup, but also how you can still care for each other after this.

We know the love between Yiu-Fai and Po-Wing ends, but we can’t stop watching. Do we hope for reconciliation or distance? This, once again echoes that distinct sense of melancholy that is so addictive. How does life meet our expectations? The bittersweet feeling of things coming to an end is sustained throughout the film. The characters are together, then alone, and emotionally, they return to their separate islands, their individual ‘end of the world’.

I found this a profound movie, perhaps a perfect depiction of the fractured sense of self one can have after a breakup that has you considering who you are. And like ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ and many of Wong Kar Wai’s other films, music plays a huge role. Here, it’s Happy Together by The Turtles that plays in the final scenes that somehow ironically encapsulates the movie’s themes and of course, the Caetano Veloso rendition of ‘Cucurrucucú paloma’ which plays as Yiu-Fai tangoes with the friend he makes in Argentina.

This film has everything: sensuality, deeply embedded symbols, an exploration of self, and beautiful shots of a bustling cityscape.

THE FEELING OF STARING AT THE MOON AT THE SAME TIME FROM DIFFERENT PLACES:

IL MARE (2000)

"There are so many different ways to express love but underneath of all of those ways I believe there is only one love."

SNAPSHOT:

Most people are probably more familiar with the English language adaptation that this film spawned - ‘The Lake House’. This is the Korean-language original, which tells the story of a man and woman, both missing something in their individual lives, who exchange letters in the mailbox of a house by a lake called 'Il Mare', but find out that they are separated by time (two years to be precise). Continuing to exchange letters, they slowly begin to fall in love.

'Il Mare' ('Siworae') is a movie about the choices we make in love, and how they can tear you apart or bring you closer together.

Why will you like this?

'Il Mare' is a sentimental movie, not without its twists and turns, this movie portrays a sincere love that develops between two lonely people. Their inexplicable connection transcends time and also the laws of nature.

If you want a romance movie that is easy viewing and portrays the journey of first realising you're in love, then I would highly recommend this.

THE FEELING OF HANDS BRIEFLY TOUCHING:

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (2005)

"I love you most ardently."

SNAPSHOT:

What list of films featuring yearning would be complete without the addition of 'Pride and Prejudice'?

This film follows the Bennet sisters as they navigate society in eighteenth century England and face pressure to marry. Elizabeth Bennet, the second oldest sister however, seeks to marry for love and not just for the sake of it, putting her at crossroads with her mother. The arrival of Mr Bingley and his entourage introduces the Bennets to possible suitors. Jane, the eldest, seems to win the heart of Mr Bingley himself, but there is an almost instantaneous conflict between his best-friend, the prideful Mr Darcy and Elizabeth, which, as they spend more and more time together, morphs into something more.

Why will you like this?

Two hundred and eight years after its publication, Jane Austen’s tale of the mutual admiration that grudgingly develops between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, despite their differences in class and upbringing.

The scenes of the English countryside merge beautifully with the cinematic storytelling, featuring that hand scene. There is a surplus (not unwanted) of eyes meeting across crowded ballrooms, and need I say anything about the period costumes? What is there to say about this movie that hasn’t already been said? This production of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ is perfect and ALWAYS worthy of a rewatch.

NOW

So, those are my recommendations, all of them similar to 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' in the pang of longing that they create and of course, the emotionally charged and fantastic depictions of the journeys we can take in love - and I hope I was able to offer you a variety of perspectives on this, if nothing else.

All of these films have a message we can take away about how we choose to live and who we are in our relationships, but this is personal to everyone, so I'll leave that up to you to discover.

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