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83 Thoughts I Had During the Emmys

Spoiler alert: I'm still very mad at 'Game of Thrones'

By SamPublished 5 years ago 7 min read
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Jodie Comer: Best winner at the Emmys and winner of my heart.

I honestly had no idea what to do with the Emmys this year. With Game of Thrones dominating (undeservedly) the categories this year, I kind of dreaded it. Given that I had absolutely no idea what to expect, I decided to share with you my live thoughts I had during the show.

  1. Anthony Anderson’s “What the hell was that?!” will be the next reaction meme.
  2. IT’S BRYAN CRANSTON!!
  3. The irony in saying, “Television has never been this damn good” is that no it’s not because Breaking Bad is not on TV anymore, and the last season of Game of Thrones made me want to gouge my eyes out.
  4. Ben Stiller always looks like he’s phoning it in.
  5. “I hated you in Tropic Thunder,” THAT IS HYSTERICAL.
  6. I want to beat the hell out of Disney, and their dumb streaming service, and their dumb monopoly on entertainment right now. I will BEAT MICKEY MOUSE YOU HEAR ME.
  7. Shout out to Alex Borstein for that shot before accepting the award in that fabulous purple gown and no underwear. I have no idea what she won for, but I’m here for it.
  8. RANDALL PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. I’m taking a hot minute to highlight that Michael Phelps Talkspace commercial because I love Michael Phelps for opening up about anxiety/depression, and WOOHOO he got airtime during the Emmys!
  10. Should’ve given the Writing for Comedy Emmy to David Benioff and D.B. Weiss for Game of Thrones, because they wrote a damn circus.
  11. I want Bill Hader to win Lead Actor, because I love him and that’s it.
  12. I NEED TO WATCH BARRY BECAUSE BILL HADER.
  13. I just have to tell you all, Bill Hader is talented and isn’t just funny, he can act very well so support Bill Hader.
  14. It’s great to watch Stephen Colbert carry Jimmy Kimmel through this bit.
  15. Jason Bateman’s face is conic; please make that a meme too, Internet.
  16. Okay I have to say I really love Kendall’s wacky leather dress, it's lit.
  17. YES I LOVE RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE!!!! I’m happy it won on a season where we had a lovely Queen of Color win, as well as a season with fantastic Queens like Plastique Tiara and Nina West.
  18. Please do not give Game of Thrones all these awards, they deserve some, but please no, PLEASE NO, THEY DO NOT DESERVE IT FOR THIS SEASON.
  19. NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR MY QUEEN SOPHIE TURNER
  20. That package for GoT made me tear up until they showed all the things that pissed me off in the last season.
  21. BRAN ISN’T EVEN ON STAGE, THAT’S HOW UNIMPORTANT HE IS, BUT THEY STILL MADE HIM KING. BRAN IS STILL A CLOWN. NO WHEELCHAIR RAMP TO THE STAGE FOR BRAN.
  22. Zendaya is amazing in that dress.
  23. I want to watch Chernobyl so bad, that’s definitely my next show to binge.
  24. The music choices for the winners when they walk up are totally strange.
  25. Also they are severely missing a host this time around, there are a few awkward pauses and what not that are very noticeable.
  26. Angela Bassett looks like a queen no matter what she does.
  27. James Corden is so funny, but now I can only see him in that damn Cats trailer and now I’m thinking about the Cats movie and I don’t want to think about the Cats movie…
  28. Bandersnatch is so good and it’s so much more than just a gimmick. If you interested, read my take on it here (total shameless self-promotion never hurt anyone).
  29. YES BANDERSNATCH. I’M SO HAPPY WITH THIS!!
  30. Hugh Laurie is correct, Veep was the funniest show until the last two episodes of Game of Thrones, because those episodes were a DAMN CIRCUS.
  31. Wait where did Lin Manuel Miranda come from?
  32. YES TO MICHELLE WILLIAMS EVERYONE.
  33. Wait that announcement riff… what… that… was… bad…
  34. That Meryl Streep was horrifying, please bleach my eyes.
  35. The Yeti shoot dance is the best thing that’s happened so far.
  36. You know you’re in deep when you watch any performance on an award show and think “Meh. This isn’t BTS”.
  37. John Oliver is great, and his team does amazing research and writing for Last Week Tonight.
  38. I’ll say it again: RANDALL PARK!!
  39. SNL has been horrible recently why did they win?
  40. Billy Porter’s outfits always make me so happy. What’s it like to be so on point all the time?
  41. Wow they are racing through the variety category.
  42. WHY WASN’T CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND IN THAT SEGMENT ABOUT SHOWS THAT ENDED? WHY WASN’T RACHEL BLOOM NOMINATED FOR CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND? THIS LOOK AT MENTAL ILLNESS IS IMPORTANT, AND THEY DO IT SO WELL WITH DRAMA AND COMEDY, AND THEY DESERVE RECOGNITION.
  43. Viola Davis looks amazing and she’s wearing SNEAKERS!!
  44. The drama category gives me anxiety about Game of Thrones winning.
  45. And the clownery begins: Peter Dinklage is a great Tyrion, but he did NOT deserve it when you had all those nominees with him, I don’t like that it was obvious he got it because it was the last season.
  46. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is on the list of older men who have my heart (also should’ve gotten that Emmy).
  47. Cherry Jones had a powerful walk out onto that stage.
  48. My heart is in my chest that GoT will win for writing.
  49. OH THANK GOD FOR SUCCESSION.
  50. Okay Supporting Actress, which GoT lady will win?
  51. Wow that was surprising, but good for Julia!
  52. I’m selfishly sad that Sophie Turner didn’t win, because the ladies carried Game of Thrones this past season and Sophie was stellar.
  53. HALSEY IS THERE?! Now is my chance: Halsey, will you marry me?
  54. I love Halsey’s voice and she looks incredible as always.
  55. I’ll throw it out there again: Halsey will you marry me?
  56. Kerry Washington’s outfit might be the best one I’ve seen tonight.
  57. WHAT IS THAT WEIRD FACE FOR THE BEST ACTOR HOLY JESUS.
  58. Good for Billy Porter!! I’m so happy about this win, this is well deserved.
  59. You know the last Game of Thrones season was bad when I actively cheered when Benioff and Weiss didn’t win for directing.
  60. Go Jason!! I love how he obviously wasn’t expecting it.
  61. If anyone was curious, I think if anyone from Game of Thrones deserved it, it was Miguel for "The Long Night."
  62. I have the biggest crush on Jodie Comer and I want you all to know that.
  63. I WASN’T EXPECTING HER TO WIN, BUT MY BIG GAY CRUSH WON THE EMMY. I’M SO HAPPY I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
  64. Jodie Comer is amazing in this show everyone watch Killing Eve.
  65. That picture of her: I want it to be my wallpaper.
  66. The way her and Sandra hugged was so sweet.
  67. So I know I asked Halsey a few points ago, but I also want to say: Jodie Comer, will you marry me? Can I marry both of them?
  68. That commercial for El Camino was awesome, and I’m so excited to see Jesse Pinkman again.
  69. I’m still thinking about Jodie Comer.
  70. Update five minutes later: I’m still thinking of Jodie Comer.
  71. Update again: the comedy award is happening and I’m still thinking of Jodie Comer.
  72. I can’t get into comedy shows, I don’t know why.
  73. Oh boy final award here we go everyone.
  74. I feel like Game of Thrones will win because it’s the last season, but I don’t know anymore.
  75. YEAH GAME OF THRONES!!! While this wasn’t the best season, this feels more like it was for the huge amount of work this show has given us in the past decade, so I’m happy.
  76. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THERE? HOW DARE YOU STEP AWAY FROM YOUR DESK, GIVE ME MY LAST TWO GAME OF THRONES BOOKS YOU BASTARD.
  77. I look at Benioff and Weiss and I just feel the anger seep from my pores.
  78. JORAH IS THERE!!!
  79. DAVOS IS THERE!!!
  80. Sophie Turner sort of crying made me love her even more.
  81. You know, while I’m at it, even though she just got married: Sophie Turner, will you marry me?
  82. Conclusion: I saw my three future wives have great nights and I’m so happy about it.
  83. Emmys felt weird this year, the energy was wonky.

And that’s a wrap! I’m interested to see what other people though about the Emmys this year, because they felt really weird and paced all wrong. I’m pretty content for the most part, so at least that’s a good thing. Anyway, my overall thoughts are that I’m very gay and I love Halsey, Jodie Comer, and Sophie Turner.

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Sam

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