The Air in the Water

As an author, I love to create; to come up with my own worlds and stories, and make them my own. I feel like it's always been a part of my being, even before I knew that the creative writing career path was what I was going to take.

As a kid, I was a huge role player. At times I was a huntress running down my friends on the street, and then a space cat who ruled my own planet ( we acted this out on a trampoline to give that zero-gravity feel ), and even a dark vampire who refused to be sparkly like the ones in the Twilight movies. ( I wanted to be terrifying, you see, not pretty. )

So when I got older and began exploring who I was and who I wanted to be, I naturally used the internet to search up my zodiac because that was the most logical thing to do to discover more about myself, of course.

But let me tell you, I was shocked at just how accurate the Aquarius sign was. Going against the norm? That's me. Being extrospective and always concerned with the well-being of the world and others over yourself? Spot on, again. A creative powerhouse? My mind never shuts up about new ideas and possibilities to explore. This discovery also gave me some hope that my "weirdness" was actually a good thing; something to be praised.

Despite associating Aquarius with water, I discovered that the sign was actually an air sign, and the air is all about being socially intellectual, which is something I prided myself on, and still do to this day. Walking in another's shoes has always been second nature, and in school, I could glide between different social groups without feeling out of place. Mind you, I was still bullied for being "weird" or "different" for most of my educational career. Just because I could go between many different groups did not save me from getting targeted.

But the element of water does still have its importance for Aquarius. Our symbol, the water bearer, is one of the oldest symbols of the zodiac. It harkens back to Babylonian times where the constellation represented the god Ea who was known to carry a vase of water. This god was also known to be a very protective, loving god, which is a trait that a good number of Aquarius members share. Remarkably, it also gave me another reason to feel connected to the constellation, as my name "Amanda" literally translates to "she who must be loved" in the Latin language.

It can also be noted that the water the Aquarius constellation spills out from its vase is actually the arm of the milky way we see in the sky. I just thought that was cool!

Anyways, it is this way of seeing the world through the eyes of other people that I think eventually led me to begin writing stories. It was fun to come up with characters completely different from myself and experience their world from their point of view just as I had done as a child. Now, I could share it with the world in a written form instead of performing it on my trampoline.

It was both an avenue for escapism and for self prescribed therapy. All of my stories that I wrote from when I was 12 to 20 were primarily inspired by events in my own life, or events in the lives of those around me. It helped me to become more aware of myself and how I viewed the world; a weakness that most websites discussing the Aquarius zodiac don't mention.

This ability to write and share my feelings through words became like a super power. My earliest stories were fan-fiction, which led me to become active on several forums. My social skills came in handy when meeting other people who-like me-were also experimenting with writing for the first time. We exchanged our stories, supported each other, and shared our passions for unfiltered storytelling.

It took no time at all, much to my surprise, before my story was skyrocketing to the top of the forums, and it stayed that way for years. Was I onto something? Had I discovered what I was meant to do with my life? Perhaps the things I had read on the creative powers of the Aquarius sign were true? These questions buzzed around me like flies while I was deep into my geoscience studies.

Aquarius embraces the abnormal and the brave it-or maybe just the foolish-as four years into my college degree, I dropped out after having a major mental health scare. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and as anyone who knows me would tell you, I should not blame myself for leaving when I did. I needed to take a break to get help.

But it was more than just another mental breakdown, it was the horrifying discovery that the career path I was on and had been on for years was not meant for me. All that time, all that money, all those sweat and tears just seemed to be suddenly worthless.

I can tell you now-three years later-it was not all a waste of time. No life experience ever is.

Aquarius is an unstoppable creative force, bound by the love of those around them and by the visions of the well-being of humanity. Throughout all those years of uncertainty, despair and mental fires, I managed to come out on the other side with not one, not two, but five different books and book series that were in different stages of planning, drafting and completion.

I finished my first manuscript after I left college. It took me almost six years starting from a fan-fiction in high school all the way until it became an original novel as a partial graduate, but I got it done on my 23rd birthday after one hell of a year of seeing psychiatrists and therapists and family doctors. I learned more about myself than I ever could with my head buried in textbooks or with my eyes glued to a test screen.

Yes, Aquarius is an air sign; the air that can blow harshly and gently. It is an element of intellect and social awareness. But, I argue that Aquarius is also water; the water that can flow and waver. It is an element of sensitivity, and a power that makes us-the Aquarius-feel more intensely than the rest.

Our air shapes our waters, and I am more than happy with that conclusion.

The process of creation requires us to draw something from within and bring it out into the world. We take the experiences and emotions that have been given to us and pass them along. The good, the bad. Beauty and pain. To enrich those around us, we sacrifice a little piece of ourselves. Pouring out our hearts, in hope that another vessel will take a drop of it with them. - Peter Mohrbacher, angelarium.net