Why I Stopped Approaching Women
Not So Red Pill Stuff
Lately I've been digesting a lot of Red Pill content on YouTube, MGTOW YouTubers included. Although the title of my article might sound bombastic, the reasons for it are not so. Contrary to what you might think, I'm not avoiding women because some guy with a cellphone uploaded his opinion on women. No, no, no.
My reason is far more insidious. Namely, I lose wood when I try to put a condom on during sexual intercourse. That's pretty much it. Did I disappoint you? I know what you must be thinking. Is this guy for real? Unfortunately, I am.
The mere fact that I lose my erection every single time I reach for that piece of rubber is too much for my psyche. I decided to avoid women for some time until I figure out how to deal with this problem. I don't know for how long but I hope not too long. I honestly hope I'll find some solution i.e. cure.
Usually I feel like Alex from a movie/book A Clockwork Orange after he was subdued to Ludovico therapy. I literally become ill thinking of my past failures with condom putting. That ill feeling literally stops me every time I think of approaching some cute lady.
If someone would ask me which is my greatest problem at the moment, I would describe this one. It is the greatest source of my suffering, it throws me into dark abyss, it causes limitless despair for me. Like Patrick Bateman says in movie/book American Psycho: "My pain is constant and sharp..." I don't have words to describe just how big of a problem this is to me.
Of course, I don't want to force any potential girlfriend to have an unprotected sex with me. Nor do I want to force any girlfriend to start using contraception pills, that option is never too safe for a person's health.
I know what could be your question. Does this happen to me while I bang escorts? Answer is no, it doesn't. I guess I share a similar condition with Brandon from a movie Shame and I hide this terrible secret behind my mask of normalcy.
I'm imposing this voluntary celibacy onto myself. I'm going monk mode. Just like "Men Going Their Own Way" type of guy, but not for the same reasons. MGTOW guys avoid relationships with women, because they see marriage as a raw deal. They claim that state's power combined with woman's whims makes a literally deadly combination for man.
I'm not easily sold on this ideology although I sometimes find certain comfort watching these videos. I still deeply believe men are women are ment for each other. I profoundly believe that women and men are inclined towards each other and that it's fate. MGTOW people would call me Blue Pill SIMP.
SIMP stands for "sucker idolasing mediocre pussy," which is abbreviation for someone who is presumably beta male that runs after women like a thirsty dog. Often you'll hear them say that someone is a "thirsty SIMP."
Blue Pill person is someone who follows the system blindly without ever questioning it. Red Pill person would, by that logic, be someone who questions things, who thinks out of the box and doesn't take any official information from "legitimate media" for granted.
In that regard I actually consider myself to be very Red Pilled type of guy. I tend to make very informed decisions when considering certain move and I tend to use information from various sources. But that fact alone doesn't excuse me from various personal issues. I'm just yet another sinful human being.
It is my firm belief that a person can be above average intelligence, when you consider mental state, and at the same time average or even under average intelligence when you consider his emotional intelligence. I just might be that guy. I know that I have a lot of work on myself pending. I just hope it'll all end well somewhere down the road. I know that people and even systems, if they don't exercise discipline on themselves, move towards disorder and chaos. I look towards the stellar sky and pray that universe gives me strength to maintain that discipline and ultimately find the solution for my condom caused erectile dysfunction.