The Sex Lives of Animals That Are Surprisingly Violent
If you thought your kinky sex life was rough, take a look at some of the most psychotic sex lives of animals you might know.
The sex lives of others often end up being a hot-button topic, don't they? Even when it comes to the sex lives of presidents and celebrities, we tend to gab a bit. But have you ever really thought about the nature of human sexuality?
If you think about it, there's a lot of elements to sex sex can get violent and. Make no mistake about it, a lot of sex people enjoy having can be considered to be violent—even if only in aesthetic.
To those who aren't into it, BDSM can look scary or even abusive. Even with vanilla sex, people can end up walking away with rug burns on their knees, a bruise, or even a hickey or two.
What most people don't realize is that the sex lives of humans is actually way more peaceful than the sex lives of animals in many cases. We can actually be tender with lovers.
Don't believe it? Take a glimpse into what it'd mean to reproduce as any of these guys and you'll realize that sex in the animal kingdom is brutal.
If you're a guy who thought the sex lives of people were weird, thank your lucky stars that you're not an anglerfish. Few sex lives of animals are as Lovecraftian, clingy, and surreal as the anglerfish.
Male anglerfish are way smaller than female anglerfish. When they mate, the male bites the stomach of the female... and then fuses with her. He provides her with nutrients, along with sex.
Eventually, the majority of the male's body atrophies and falls off. Such is the life of the clingiest males known to Earth. (And you thought your "joined at the hip" ex was bad?!)
The sex lives of animals can get pretty darned violent—but few are as notorious for it as the praying mantis. Much like many ladies with pesky guys badgering them for sex, the female praying mantis often gets an urge to bite the male's head off.
The difference between human and praying mantis females, though, is that the female praying mantis actually goes through with her urges. Contrary to popular belief, not all males die during a mating session with a female mantis.
Seals! How cute! How cuddly! How horrifically violent?!
It's more likely than you think. When discussing the violent sex lives of animals, these seemingly adorable creatures quickly turn into nightmare fuel. Elephant seals are surprisingly violent creatures, and this comes out in their love lives.
When mating season strikes, male elephant seals will often beat each other bloody—or even kill one another—in order to get access to the often non-consenting females. Baby seals aren't protected from the carnage, either, with some even being killed because they were a rival's offspring.
Around 80 percent of male elephant seals never mate because they are killed before they can even get to a female. That alone should tell you volumes.
What's even worse is that seals (of all species) also have a tendency to perform acts of bestiality. There have been multiple videos caught of seals raping penguins and other creatures. Obviously, the penguins do not enjoy this.
This adorable little fuzzy creature is an antechinus, and he's a mouse-like marsupial based out of Australia. Isn't he cute? Well, there's some good news and bad news about this adorable little creature.
The good news is that he's a lover, not a fighter. That bad news is that you're seeing him on a list of the most twisted sex lives of animals that ever existed, so you know something's wrong.
The issue with this little guy? Well, the antechinus is one of the only creatures on the planet that will fuck himself to death—literally. When mating season happens, the antechinus will have extremely rough sex with as many females as possible.
These creatures only mate for one season, which means that they keep mating, without rest or food, until they die. Eventually, the males of the species get fur loss, hormone spikes, and then have their bodies literally disintegrate until they die.
Duckies are so cute, but they have some of the most messed up sex lives of animals in existence. You see, ducks are surprisingly violent during their mating season—and evolution even had to step in as a result.
Male ducks have a tendency of being very rapey. In fact, they've been caught having sex with dead ducks as well as live ones. Some species of ducks even practice gang rape of females.
Evolution stepped in by giving female ducks corkscrew-shaped vaginas. This made it less likely for male ducks to be able to forcibly rape them. Males also have corkscrew-shaped penises, because that makes it possible to penetrate females.
Female ducks often end up getting hurt and/or killed during reproduction. Animal sexuality is often at its ugliest with these creatures, which is really kind of horrifying considering how cute they tend to be as ducklings.
It's really hard to figure out how the sex lives of animals can go on, sometimes. Such is the case with sea slugs. These creatures are hermaphrodites, meaning that they have both male and female genitalia.
They are also sea slugs, so it's not like most people really know what to look for as far as "equipment" goes. But, these animals engage in some pretty extreme mating season. When sea slugs look to get it on, they stab each other in the head with their penises, have the penises break off in their partners... and leave.
From what we gather, it's kind of like dating a serial killer—at least, with the whole sexual stabbing aspect of it.
A lot of shock memes that discuss the sex lives of animals might have made you aware that these critters aren't as cute as they look. Though otters have a cute face, they are extremely prolific rapists—often to the point that they make ducks look like saints.
Otters are known for raping each other, dogs, birds, chimpanzees, fish and even baby seals to death. When males attack, they dunk the female's head under water and bite their noses. If the female dies during rape, it's very likely that the male will continue mating with the body regardless.
Octopi, with their unearthly appearance and many tentacles, are almost a given when it comes to weird mating habits. What you might not realize is that they have some of the most extreme sex lives of animals under the sea—and much like with anglerfish, the female is the killer here.
When octopi mate, the female will use her tentacles to strangle the male to death. Once the male dies, the female eats him as a way to nourish herself while she starts prepping for offspring.
Some octopi ended up evolving to have a detachable penis tentacle instead. Sometimes, it's not so detachable; the female just thinks it is and rips it off the male's body, killing him.
You could say the female octopus is the black widow of the sea.
No matter if you'd be male or female, being a bee is not a fun thing to experience—especially when it comes to their sex lives.
Females have it really rough. In order for a queen bee to mate, she has to fight all other females to the death. Then, assuming she survives, she mates with some soldiers once and then has to continue giving birth (laying eggs) for the rest of her life.
Only a dozen males get to mate with a queen bee. Male bees who are chosen to mate with a queen get to have a seriously explosive orgasm, as in, their penis literally explodes off them. The "lucky" males then die.
If you haven't noticed, the sex lives of animals often involve a bloodbath. With this particular species of lizard, it gets a little bit insane. Males fight males, females brawl with females, and all of them probably wonder why they need to be there fighting each other.
They're so aggressive because they're so hormonal that it causes an extreme, chameleon version of roid rage. Assuming they don't die from murder by another chameleon, both genders of this species still might die from a hormone overdose.
If that's not a colorful cause of death, we don't know what is.