The Psychology of the submissive..
The Unicorn Submissive..
Some fundamental theories apply when dealing with a Warrior Princess Submissive..aka the Unicorn Submissive
She does not relish pain..the motivation for her is based in bettering the world. She does not fight for the fight but the cause. Pain only breaks her down and prevents her from being able to continue whatever battle it is.
She feeds on the energy around her. If her environment is supportive and uplifting she will soar to heights unimagined. Surround her with nothing but negative energy, unappreacation and she will simply walk away and do it herself. She doesn't actually thrive in isolation or confinement. She is either your best friend or worst enemy- it all has to do with side you put yourself on. She has no problem telling you how to get there and what frame of mind to do it in, but simply fix something that is one less thing she has to do, or that no one will do for her and she will adore you with the strength of thousand suns.
Just as a Dom on some level needs to be needed, she needs to be wanted. When she feels like she is the exclusion, her heroine efforts are unnoticed (though she is never looking for the accolades, simply an acknowledgement and supportive action can relight the fire of burnout, rather than drown her to the point she simply will rebel at the simplest request. It is simply her way of making it known that she feels ignored, but don't think it will make the solution anymore permanent.) She is sought after because she simply is the embodiment of all that is good.
A man I loved for years, after he disappeared without a word, who I have gone through nothing less than hell to protect his life and that of his daughters who has been willing to jeopardize my life and everything I held dear, a man whose career I was raped protecting, simply literally allowed me to almost be killed just trying to even get anyone to protect him. I loved him until the moment that he wouldn't answer a call, or even in his jurisdiction was willing to let me be victimized. I stopped loving him that moment. I didn't stop trying to do the right thing to save him, but he is the last person I would trust with my life. I would have told you until the moment he let his blue family put my life at risk I had never found a man more capable of being by my side. Having had him in my life it was a perfection that was envied by every man after him. Then he simply became as vicious with his absence, that the man who has destroyed and continues to threaten my life. There is no cognitive dissonance there.. I will always have tried to save his life when he had no regard for mine. He simply became the monsters he was sworn to put in jail.
Then you have someone who knows nothing about what I have been through who simply emails me a Lesson Plan Template and a template for a course syllabus I literally wanted to jump through the phone and hug him. I have always been the one who took care of everything and everyone and never asked or will ask for anything because when I have no one ever listens. I had a prosecutor ask once "Why didn't anyone listen to you?' All these years later I ask myself the same question about what has been done to me. I never let any of my juvenile probationers go through anything like has been done to me. I have never had people ignore me from Attorney Generals, to Judges, to federal law enforcement to local law enforcement. It didn't happen then and now that it has it simply makes me believe that they are the things nightmares are made of and makes them as much monsters as the people they have protected by doing nothing.
She does not like to be used, for her brain or anything else. She is not submissive to the entire world, and everyone in it. She is only submissive to the Dominant she chooses to be. Other than that, she is a force of nature that can not be wrangled by anyone or anything. She simply for Him, is his.
The fundamental assumption that a submissive is born from trauma is not true. Fundamentally her submission is always her strength, simply because she at all times has the power to remove that submission, and she will. She is not a weak soul looking for a father figure, she is not a victim or even a survivor. She simply is .. it is in her DNA. I have had powerful men fail at trying to make me their submissive, from CEO's to lawyers simply because they failed to understand they lacked any power that was not given to them, and the moment they made me lose respect for them, it was impossible for them to ever get it back. No amount of bribery, persuasion or even promises would push me to change my mind especially now. They are fathers of daughters who what they allowed to happen to me, their friend could happen to their daughters and they would be outraged. Their silence merely indicates they think what was done to their friend is okay and they support domestic violence, rape, sexual battery, and essentially torture.
The ones who earned my submission were men who treated me as their equal, who respected my intelligence and who always had my back, even without me asking. They were repaid in appreciation..which can be defined in more than a sexual way, though it has been expressed that way. Very few men have ever gotten me on my knees, and none of them were by force. Not once, nor will it ever be the case. There is nothing anyone could ever do to force me to kneel for them, in any capacity. In fact an order to would most likely be met with "Fuck you" and not in a bratty way. I have made lawyers literally look at me in awe when I said the professional equivalent of "In your fucking dreams" and never had a second moment of telling even men I have dated how to do their job when they wouldn't- No one determines my behavior. I managed to keep the peace for almost 500 ex military, ex law enforcement, ex Blackwater and protect their families better than anyone has protected me, without even a single raising of my voice- they simple knew better than to think they could out do me, and boss always had my back.
I simply decide whom is worth the gift of my submission and when they have violated any standard they do not have my permission to cross, it simply is not being given. I might champion the misfits- but I am always on the right side of the law and I do not take abuse from anyone.
When she has been beaten down over and over with no one, on her side, she gives up because if she doesn't have the support of the people who she is fighting for what is the point? She is one in a million, and the only way to break her is to ignore her, and then she will hurt so badly there is no need for anyone to hurt her. She simply will find people and things worthy of her time.
Repeated punishment, taking away control of her life like she is a child, and making decisions for her she is not part of it, it simply makes it abuse which she never responds to. She will simply find someone who will listen.
She only flourishes with freedom, for even with no choice she will simply choose to remove herself from the battle. Orders do not do anything to gain compliance, she simply will just find a space where she can be alone rather than to submit to any form of commands. Her danger lies in that she will always find a way to escape, even if it is with her life, than be controlled. There is no amount of control, any type that will ever break her. She simply will find a new place to go that doesn't abuse her talents or her uniqueness.
She doesn't need a Dom who thinks he is always right, who expects her to be what he wants. She doesn't change for anyone. Earning Him is never the path to her submission. In fact, it will simply push her submission further away. She would rather have a Domtourage of male friends than one who thinks she is to bow to any man merely claiming Dom status.
She does not relish watching over people who won't take care of themselves and manipulate others into taking care of them. If she is not the lazy bitch wrangler, her love language is not service to every person on the planet- only to Him. He is her Rock of Strength, when she is weak and she is his when he is. Those people are only annoyances to which she will not pay any attention, and merely bit players who will never make history.
She doesn't thrive on living in a soap opera, it drains her attention from the the things that matter to her. She doesn't want to wait hand and foot on anyone- from clients, employees, friends or lovers. She doesn't seek approval but will seek out advice from those she trusts. She rules her world according to how it treats her- treat her badly and she will walk away, hurt her and she will defend herself, but she will not destroy you unless it is the only way to ensure her safety. Threaten her- and you are the enemy. Use her and she will never respect you.
The idea of consent is not something to be taken, it something to be negotiated and only with her significant other- and she doesn't negotiate with terrorists of any sort. Bribery does not work, personal or professional, she has the highest standards and the highest ethics and integrity. She is respected among her peers for her willingness to help- but not serve them. She chooses her causes, her heroes for the qualities she has - those people who truly need a champion she will help, not the those that decide themselves they need a hero and are not willing to do anything for themselves. Surround her with stupidity, or users and takers and she will simply shut them out of her life.
The reward for her is a better world, and the safety only he can give her. Manipulate her and she has a long memory and she will stop at nothing to make sure you are held to account for what you have done. She represents all that is good in the world but cross her and you find yourself explaining your own actions to the highest authority she can find.
When she is supported, she flourishes above everything that anyone could expect. Unsupported she simple lumps you into the category of people who have hurt her and learns that you are not her tribe and will never ask you for anything.
She will never stand by injustice, nor will she coddle anyone. She will literally shut you out of her world with so much force, you will never recover. Those that stand by her, those that she sees with potential she will do anything to defend. She needs not to sink to levels of pettiness, manipulation and lies. Bully her, lie to her, and she will see you for what you are a lesser being than herself and her standards of herself are so high nothing you do to her, will be harsher than that what she will hold herself to.
Protect her, cherish her, be her knight in shining armor and there is no one who will love you more. Hurt her and she will simply put you in the place you belong and walk away forever.