Sexual Education

When your birth certificate reads under Father: Unknown. You don't have Ozzie or Dr. Huxtable to educate you on the matter of sex. Since I was 8, I reasoned I was a Son of Ledbetter; A Son of the Streets.

I was very strategic as to whom I find out this info from. When I wanted information about girls or anything sexual, I couldn't ask my best friends Sims or Bubba. They would make fun of me if they perceived it as dumb. I never wanted to appear like a little kid. Although I was taller, they were two years older.

The nice thing about having a mom with six sisters and three brothers was you had plenty of cousins. The cousin whom I sought for info of sexual or sinister kind was Ricky. He was my auntie Willie Mae's youngest son, a senior in high school.

On Saturdays, he and his best friend Timmy would pick me up, we would play ball or drive around different neighborhoods, seeing what type of mischief they could find.

They parked us at the Carver ball field, getting ready to play some 21. Before we exit the vehicle, I take this moment to get some answers about the big three letter word… SEX.

"Hey man, I got a girlfriend." I say.

"Oh shit, Tim, bout to get his little pee pee wet." Ricky jokes.

"Who is she?" Timmy pipes in.

"The most beautiful girl in the world. Her name is Bree."

"Bree, sounds like a white girl." Rick replies.

"Yes, her mom and sister have a ballet studio."

"The most beautiful girl in the world, nigga, you been watching to much Young and the Restless." Timmy says.

"Anyway, focus guys. I have a few questions I was hoping you guys could help me with."

"Aww hell this should be good", Ricky replies, looking over at Timmy. "Go ahead lil homie." I'm little only in age, at 6 foot, I'm the tallest person in the car.

"Why does a girl give you a nut after y'all have sex?"

"What if you don't like the nuts she offers?"

"What about boys with peanut allergies?"

Last question: "are you supposed to share nuts with her or do you keep them all for yourself?"

I'm sitting in the middle of the backseat of Ricky's Chevette. Timmy's in the passenger seat. There's complete silence in the car. Ricky looks at Timmy. Timmy looks at Ricky. I'm becoming a little uncomfortable with the pregnant pause.

The two of them burst out with laughter. Now these two knuckleheads laugh at everything and everyone: fat or skinny people, old or young, ugly or even pretty people. They are laughing so hard tears are falling from their eyes.

I get frustrated because in my 12-year-old mind; they were valid concerns. I tear up, not from laughter, but embarrassment.

"Fuck y'all. I'm walking home." I say.

Timmy's laughing so hard he cannot speak. Ricky finally gets it together to say:

"Wait! Wait!"

I open the door, attempting to exit.

"Hold on dude, I'm sorry. Close it." Ricky says. "Ok, so why do you think the girl gives you a nut." while choking back chuckles.

"I overheard Sims and Bubba talking about a girl giving you a nut after y'all have sex." I say.

"You have to be the dumbest nigga in the world." Timmy says.

"Fuck you nigga, y'all supposed to be my big homies. I ask a question because I don't know the answer. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world. One day I'm gonna have sex with her and I would like to be prepared."

"If y'all refuse to answer, then you leave me no other alternative. I will ask my girl cousins. Nannette, Lisa or Leslie, love me and they will not laugh at me when I ask a few questions."

My eyes are misty. "Damn nigga, don't cry. Just calm down." Timmy, give the lil nigga a break. Hell, he's the smartest kid at his middle school. He just doesn't have street smarts. It's our job to school him."

"Ok, how can I explain this. Have you ever had a wet dream?"

"You mean pee in the bed." I reply.

"No. No. Damn, y'all ain't go over this in health class."

"We have yet to go over sex. That lesson is at the back of the textbook. I peaked. However, I don't like to jump ahead. I prefer to receive the information fresh from the teacher."

Ricky shakes his head. "This is really the dumbest nigga in the world." Timmy says.

"Hold on Timmy. Listen carefully. Tim, the girl doesn't give you a nut first. At least not the kind you are talking about. I'm not sure why, but sex makes the male dick… I mean penis ejaculate or cum a clear substance.

"It comes out from the head of penis. Hence coming. We call this process getting a nut. That's what Sims and Bubba were talking about."

"By the way, it's the best feeling in the world. That's the primary reason people have sex." Timmy chimes in.

"Ok, makes sense. Now, how does the penis go in the vagina?"

"Best way to make sure it's done right, allow her to put it in for you." Ricky says. When the moments right, your penis is hard as a rock, you say:

"Put it in for me."

She will know what to do. Once it's in, you will do what comes naturally."

"Thanks guys, sorry for yelling. I appreciate y'all taking time to explain."

Final Thought

My big homies had a few other lessons.

Never screw a virgin: she will bleed all over ya, as well as your responsibility for life.

Never kiss below her belly button. She will think you love her.

The key lesson, which my big homies would reiterate time after time.

Never Say I Love You. "We don't love them hoes." Timmy says.

I broke all their rules, but that will be our little secret.