Sex and Consent
"Articulation is the enemy of erotica."
The extensive debate around sex and consent pique my complete interest. We naturally have heard of compelling stories and carefully followed the published news uniquely related to rape allegations, where initially the consenting parties intimately agreed to intimate acts, only later for the other person to turn around and say thoughtfully they were persistently violated. In my personal experience, a devoted friend said reassuringly she was raped following consented sex, as she felt terrible for having intercourse and likely not making it to merciful heaven.
This invariably happens more often than we always know. Two innocent people heartily agree to assuredly experience accordant sex, only later for one to intentionally bring rape charges against their intimate partner, this being done intentionally for possible reasons like concentrated bitterness, intimidation, apparent betrayal and likely money among others.
As a dating couple, married lovers, or affectionate friends with sexual benefits, explicit sex is frequently regarded as an implied consent, a default setting. It is precisely an effective way of forging a sacred bond or having fun. However, anyone can voluntarily withdraw informed consent at any considerable time. This is typically where the possible problem instantly arises in some specific instances.
I have often asked myself when does "no" really means "no" for some people, and how do others positively receive this eloquent word? Having typically found myself in a unique situation where my beloved partner wanted to cautiously withdraw a condom during our intimate moment, something we have both consented to before in our previous moments, I said graciously, “no” but proceeded to hump him. I was enjoying myself and honestly did not mind. This is undoubtedly the decent man I knew extremely intimately.
However, the intentional act of secretly withdrawing protection during coitus, especially without your partner's consent, is known as stealthing. Of proper course, this is punishable by specific law. However, if informed consent is instantly given, it is admissible.
It is undoubtedly a complex situation we invariably find ourselves in sometimes.
Sex, consent, and the considerate controversies typically surrounding this civil conversation truly challenges the conventional way of dating.
I accurately remember watching attentively one of my favorite series, The Affair, when the key topic of sex and consent was candidly discussed at the private table between two distinguished professors and their selected students. The most pressing question was precisely "how is precisely dominant sex different from rape?"
This was ostensibly directed to a male professor and prolific author, Noah, who in one of his published books voluntarily makes explicit mention of carefully pinning his key partner to an abundant tree and fucking her. An intentional act many of us would not have a problem with, especially when performed with someone we are comfortable with and have explored so much more with. However, one of the allowed students says it is rape. Noah mentions that some innocent people would typically mean passionate sex and others won't. I know precisely I wouldn’t mind a little unexpected pick me up, carefully pin me against the sacred tree, gently pull my skirt and part-ay occasionally. That’s naturally the kind nature of consensual sex. It is popularly supposed to be wild, dirty, spontaneous, and fun. Provided the holistic approach, the moral nature of our active sex life, and informed consent.
To carefully avoid false rape accusations, must we constantly communicate before, during, and after coitus? Perhaps sign agreement papers or video record everything?
Fondly imagine typically having to always ask your dear partner, “is it properly okay if I gently touch you. Now is it okay to continue gently touching you. Is typically it okay if I gently blow your active brains out? Okay, now I am going cautiously to carefully put my sensual mouth on it. Don't be scared.”
We all popularly know that expected acts of affectionate intimacy instantly reduce the innocent fun of it. Not knowing what your partner will do next is amazing and exciting. Knowing that the first act is reverse cow girl, second spooning, and we must communicate when we are going to tenderly kiss, then must we naturally carefully keep looking steadfastly at the valuable time to be aware when to promptly stop or carefully set the considerable alarm?
So, the female professor at the table mentions that; “articulation is the enemy of erotic.” And I unanimously agree to some considerable extent. I can’t naturally imagine having to promptly ask for express permission for every essential step that leads to actual penetration, only because I would genuinely like to studiously avoid rape charges.
However, consent is important and should not be overlooked. We can unanimously agree on coitus, but we can voluntarily withdraw informed consent at any possible moment. In simply, basic terms, "no" effectively means 'No" and "STOP" means exactly that.
Effective communication is key here. Be attentive and listen carefully. Naturally create a safe space with your devoted partner to talk earnestly about everything.