from original short story "Mistaken of the Two"
He asked me in his most serious tone, “...how am I supposed to leave you alone if you keep fucking with me?”
I chuckled. It wasn’t one of those ‘I’m nervous to answer’ kinds of chuckles. It was an 'I know I’m wrong, so just curse me out already’ chuckles.
“This is your fucking problem, you always laughin’ when ain’t shit funny. But when I laugh at your fucked up life you get mad, hurt, and wanna cry and shit. You’re fucking annoying, LaVonne.”
I replied, “I know…” and shook my head.
“So you want me to leave you? Yes or No.”
“No, I don’t. I just know you entertaining other bitches, so I’ll let you leave. I don’t wanna stop you from having a good time.”
The room went silent.
“B-but you’re doing the same thing too. So what’s the point?”
“You’re my only good time right now, and I want that to be vice versa.”
“So you wanna be my girlfriend.”
“Call it whatever you want. Just know you’re the only one I’m fucking so… Go on with your shenanigans. I’m not gonna hold you back baby.”
And that’s how it always goes… My parasitic lusty nature, I play my part very well. How interesting is it to think like a man, but can’t keep one. I think I run from titles because of the responsibilities it comes with. I already got so much shit on my plate.
“You’re doing that circles shit again, I’m tired of when you do that for real.” He said.
“I’m not gonna lie, I’m not gon’ let you cuff me if you gon’ be fuckin’ on these bitches that look up to me. You want them to join? Let me know.”
The room went silent again. Easily enough, I got up out of my bed and undressed amongst the quiet to take a shower.
“You don’t play fair,” he said staring me up and down in strong desire.
“Nigga shut the fuck up,” I replied and slammed the bathroom door.
I’m too this, I’m too that. I need to learn how to let go… blah blah, blase. I’m good off all that, to be honest. You can have your sexual fantasies, who says I don’t have them too?
“You get all the fine niggas, you got all the hoes. Bitch you need to teach me,” said my sister.
I let out a deep hearty laugh and replied, “I’m not tryna hear that right now.”
“You never tryna hear shit unless it’s good news, or some business.”
“You’re right,” I said.
The car ride grew silent.
“You just gotta break your own heart before you give them the chance to do it.”
“Mmm... Shouldn’t you be the one breaking their heart, though? You know like… Pussy power?”
“Nah... I just keep it a buck fifty. These niggas can’t cuff me since they can’t fight the temptation of my mini-me’s. I noticed bitches wait in line to fuck who I’m fucking. Probably because I brag about the dick. That’s my flaw.”
“True. I guess times are changing,” she said.
“Yeah, they are," I replied.
I watched the street lights and business signs go by at 45 miles per hour. I felt the awkwardness linger for so long, it was almost suffocating.
“Well if you keep doing that, they’ll keep coming back when they’re free," Sister said.
“I know. But who doesn’t like being thought of every once in a while? Reminiscing is better when the heart is unoccupied and the mind is free.”
“LaVonne, bitch, you’re too deep for me...”
“Why you think they love to fuck me? Everything about me deep, I don’t try most of the time. It just… happens. I think too much… Can I play a song?” I asked.
Sister said of course, and I proceeded to play Sade’s song, "Never As Good As The First Time."
“I have to be headass, I’m sorry.” We both laugh as we ride along the Pensacola highway.
“You’re so wise," she says.
I responded while staring out the window,
“Only because I make dumb decisions that hurt. When you live loose you get greeted with the tough lessons.”