No more sex for money
Realizing my Achilles heel and having to quit cold turkey.
Everyone felt it when the recession started to really kick in. March was a little bit comedic- ‘oh no we’re all in doors! Let’s make silly lip sync’s and at-home-music-videos, etc...’ it was probably around June that some of us started realizing that we may be in trouble, not only financially, but mentally and emotionally as well. I went through a divorce, which is another story entirely so I will save that for a rainy day. I moved out in May 2020 and was now facing a monthly rent on top of all the living expenses we are expected to pay.
‘You know what’s easy money?’ Whispered my subconscious, from the dark depths of my broken soul. ‘Escorting’ [or as the cool kids call it: Sugar Babying] - I shrugged my shoulders. I’m all for “easy” money.
I made a profile on a SD/SB website and like the goddamn Nile, my inbox rushed-in a rapid flow of DM’s... rich with monetary opportunity. I started going on dates, ppm, nudes, videos, foot fetish obscurity... you name it, I did it. While the money was great and the work was “easy”, I started to notice signs from the Universe that this was not my correct path....
I was driving home from an acting gig I had in Dallas- and like normal, I plugged in my home address and Siri promptly started to navigate me home. While driving, I was sending random men very inappropriate text messages and photos- in hopes to receive some steady cash flow. “Sexy kitten” “do you like it rough?” “What turns you on?” These are just a few phrases that were being hurled at me, while I drove, and while I increasingly started to notice that things didn’t really look familiar. I had been driving an hour... where is home?
I pulled up the GPS tab and looked at the address.... right... this is my add- “wait” I exclaimed outload in my own car. I noticed the correct numbers and street, but underneath was a completely different city than the one I needed to be in. The moment- THE LITERAL MOMENT you guys, that I realized this- a still small voice piped up.
I was caught off guard. Then one of the Johns sent another text “so when can I be inside you, beautiful?”
“Wrong way.” ...wrong way.... I look down at my GPS and calculate that I was still an hour from home. I had been sending nudes and shameless flirts and dirty anecdotes and it was the fucking wrong way to go.
The story I have as to why I believe in God, and have for over 7 years at this point, is also a story for another rainy day.
Because this is my very first blog, and I have many many many more stories to tell, I’m going to wrap this up with that one example and hope you decide you want more.
I am abanding all the whoring I have been doing. I was told to take a leap of faith and just trust that I can my bills, feed my family, and still generously give as much as I’m accustomed to.
Welcome to my journey, here is where I will be documenting my elaborate plot to put myself back together again. Humpty Dumpty style, my friends! Hopefully none of the townsmen helping are devistatingly handsome... my Achilles heel is cute boys with fat wallets.
Godspeed, KP (that’s my name, losers)
And join me next time for the divorce chronicles.
Sweetening the World,