It was the last day of junior year. I'd started school early, so I was 16; younger than everyone else. You could practically smell the possibilities in the air. Anything feels possible on the last day of school, and anything can happen... if you're desperate enough.
His name was Ray*. We met online. What can I say, times are changing and I was not about to lose my virginity to some loser from my high school... and still have to go to class with him come August 13th. The thought of it makes me gag to this day. I still couldn't tell you why I picked him. Why I picked Ray. Maybe it was because he was older and the idea that he had more experience calmed my jittery virgin nerves. Or because I knew that no one would find out from my school (unless I told my best friends). But I think it was mainly because he promised to smoke me out beforehand. Get me out of my head and finally indulge in this pivotal moment I had built up in my head since I learned what sex even was.
10:47 pm. "I'm here." He lived about 40 minutes away, so I had time to hype myself up and shave every inch of my body (while scoring some red-hot razor burn along the way). I sneak out of my parent's apartment and expertly and quietly closed every last squeaky door. It feels like my heart is pounding a million beats per minute. I see his car parked under some poor schmuck's parking spot and I see he's already in the back seat. So I join him. And it begins.
"How are you?" He asks as he lights up the blunt he had pre-rolled and passes it to me. My hands trembling with excited nervousness. I inhale deeply and answer with a simple, "I'm okay". Silence. SILENCE. It was as embarrassing as it was deafening. I ask him to turn on the radio and thankfully he complies. And my favorite song at the time comes on. Way Down We Go by Kaleo. I immediately start singing in hopes of distracting myself from how this is going. "You have a pretty voice" is the last thing he says before I-- without thinking-- smash my lips against his. I had to do it now before I psyched myself out and closed the door on what I thought would be my only opportunity to lose this pesky virginity. That was my first kiss. No one told me how insanely fun kissing is. That feeling of having someone's lips against yours... it's exhilarating. He's kissing me everywhere and I'm kissing him everywhere. I feel his lips marking my shoulders, my neck, my waist. And I realize he's moving lower and lower. I pull off my paper-thin shorts and whip off my shirt in a couple of motions and he follows my lead. It's go time.
Now, this next part I had never done before, but I'd read every Cosmopolitan article and watched numerous videos on Tumblr so I felt like an expert. I reach for his penis and slowly start stroking it. His quiet moans were sending electric waves of satisfaction throughout my body as I incrementally increase the speed. Thanks, Cosmo. After a minute or so he (in an ever so typically aggressive male fashion) nudged my head towards his shaft. I oblige and begin to suck. And from what I can tell, my research was very rewarding. He reaches around and fingers me from behind while I'm blowing him and let me tell you, I almost came right there. I wasn't sure if the blunt we'd smoked finally kicked in or if he was more experienced than I thought, but it. Felt. Amazing. I never wanted him to stop. But of course, he does. At the worst time too. I look into his eyes as he's pulling off his boxers and I know what happens next. It. I lay back into the car seat and he climbs on top of me and parts my legs. "This is it Skyla. This is what you've been waiting for." I think to myself. He successfully put on the condom and gently leans into the nape of my neck and whispers, "Don't be nervous, trust me." And for some reason, I do.
PART TWO CUMMING SOON ;)