Filthy logo

Is Your Need to Be Desired Keeping You from Living Your Best Life?

by Chris Dee about a month ago in advice
Report Story

Every woman loves a little male attention from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But there’s a huge difference between enjoying male attention and needing it to feel good about yourself or your place in the world.

Every woman loves a little male attention from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, it just plain feels good when a gorgeous stud or a hot sugar daddy who could have any woman, he wants seems positively besotted with you. It’s easy to get hooked on that feeling, and in most cases, that’s nothing to worry about.

But there’s a huge difference between enjoying male attention and needing it to feel good about yourself or your place in the world. Here’s what you need to know to tell the difference, as well as some pointers on how to develop a healthier relationship with the very natural need to be desired.

Wanting Attention vs. Needing It: What’s the Real Difference?

Human beings are social creatures, so we’re all hard-wired to crave attention from others to at least some extent. Naturally, attention from those we’re attracted to as potential romantic or sexual partners will be especially appealing, and that’s normal, too.

But it’s one thing to crave attention from men because you enjoy flirting, dating, and otherwise interacting with them. It’s another to depend on that attention to feel good about yourself. You shouldn’t feel depressed, worthless, or hopeless if you’re not getting it for whatever reason. If you do, it’s time to work on some things.

Putting Men on Pedestals: Why It’s a Huge Problem

We get it. When a sugar daddy’s smoking hot and crazy desirable, it can be super tempting to look at him and decide he’s nothing short of perfect. This can be the case whether the man in question is someone you’re dating or simply someone you’re really interested in.

However, a man should never become your whole world. You shouldn’t see any man as godlike either, no man belongs on a pedestal. Even the hottest sugar daddy is still only human, so it’s crucial to remember that. Otherwise, it’s too easy to start living and dying according to how much attention he pays you.

It’s also important to understand that a tendency to put men on pedestals is less about how fantastic the man is and more about your feelings toward yourself. So if you know that you do this, it’s officially time to start working on your confidence so you can develop a healthier relationship with the concept of male attention.

Filling Your Own Need for Attention

Everyone struggles with feeling like something is missing from their life, and some spend most of their days on earth trying to figure out what it is. And if you’re seriously into male attention, it’s tempting to think that “something missing” is a man.

However, emotional fulfillment is something everyone needs to learn to give themselves. Some points to keep in mind moving forward include:

  • You are enough in and of yourself. You don’t need outside validation to be worth something.
  • Happiness comes from within, not from a sugar daddy, no matter how incredible that man might be.
  • It’s possible to be there for yourself, take care of yourself, and love yourself, with or without a partner.
  • You are just as valuable, desirable, capable, and incredible as any man out there – a fabulous prize to be won by someone truly worthy of you, not a consolation prize to be given away.

Becoming Truly Independent

Emotional independence is something every woman should strive for, and there are many reasons why. To begin with, even the best relationships aren’t as permanent as you think. Sugar daddies can leave, and even incredible relationships sometimes come to an end. Every strong, empowered sugar baby should know that she’s enough on her own and that she’ll be fine, whatever happens to come her way in life.

You are worthy of attention, and that isn’t something that changes according to whether you’re getting attention from a man at a given time. Once you truly believe that; you’re ready to start living your best life. Here are some pointers to get you started.

  • Write out your strong points. What do you like most about yourself? What do your other loved ones like most about you?
  • Engage in healthy self-care. Go to the gym, exercise regularly, and eat right. Invest time and energy in taking care of yourself, building your skills, and discovering activities you enjoy.
  • Evaluate your dating history for toxic relationship patterns. Then make your peace with your baggage so you can move on and live well.
  • Raise the bar when it comes to the men you date. Ditch the broke bad boy for a rich sugar daddy who can take care of you. Stop settling for man-children and start holding out for emotionally mature men.

There are many different types of attention out there, and all of them can feel good in their own way. But you don’t need them to live an extraordinary life. The day you realize that is the day your best life truly begins.

advice

About the author

Chris Dee

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.