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How to Tell When a Man’s Only Using You

by Chris Dee 5 months ago in how to
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When you’re dating someone, you really like, it’s only natural to want to believe the best of them. Here are a few key signals that the guy you’re dating isn’t all that and is likely only using you.

When you’re dating someone, you really like, it’s only natural to want to believe the best of them. You pick your battles. You let certain things go, even if they get under your skin. Before you know it, you’re even ignoring that gut feeling that something isn’t quite right – the feeling you’ve had so many times before.

The thing is, gut feelings tend to be there for a reason, so feeling something’s off is usually your first clue that’s the case. Still, it makes sense to want to know for sure before you end things with someone you’re really attracted to. Here are a few key signals that the guy you’re dating isn’t all that and is likely only using you.

He never seems to be free on weekends.

Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays are the days people spend on the things and people that matter most to them. If your guy is strictly a Monday through Thursday guy despite his insistence that you mean the world to him, something’s wrong.

Weekday get-togethers are usually reserved for people and pastimes that are better than staying home alone another night but not special enough to justify giving up a precious weekend day. So, if you’ve been seeing your guy a while, yet he’s still full of excuses as to why he can’t do a Saturday night dinner date or Sunday brunch at your favorite restaurant, something’s wrong.

You don’t know his friends.

Although it can take a while for someone, you’re dating, to feel genuinely comfortable introducing you to their parents and the rest of their family, it’s unusual not to know any of their friends. Men are as close to their friends as women are to theirs, so when they’re dating someone, they like, they usually want her to meet their friends sooner rather than later.

They want to get the OK from some of the people who know them best. And if a man’s attracted to someone he’s seeing, he almost certainly wants to show her off a little. If the man you’re seeing not only hasn’t expressed any interest in introducing you to his crew but acts evasive when you try to bring the topic up yourself, he’s likely not very serious about you.

He dislikes personal conversations.

How much does the man you’re seeing really know about you? If the answer's "not much," why is that, exactly? Is it because he never asks about you or seems to want to listen when you’re in the mood to talk about your life, dreams, interests, or anything else that’s important to you? And for that matter, how much do you really know about his life?

Men who are only using the women they date don’t care to know or share this information, because they don’t need it. If he did care about you as you deserve, he’d want to get to know you. He’d like to hear about all the things you love and that are going on in your life, and he’d want to share his own with you in return.

He only turns up when he wants something.

We get it. Everyone’s busy, especially these days, so they have limited time to hang out, even when they genuinely like someone. But if someone always seems to have a specific motive in mind when they call, something’s wrong, especially if that someone is a man who allegedly cares about you.

Of course, it’s only natural to want to help someone out when you care about them, but good relationships that are worth being in come alongside some balance. To begin with, the people you’re there for should be there for you, too, sometimes. They even call you up just to see how you are or drop by just to spend some time with you.

He’s completely unreliable.

The kind of man who deserves to be with you won’t leave you hanging. He does what he says he’ll do so consistently, you don’t even question it. He calls when he says he will. He keeps the dates he makes with you and shows up on time. You know for a fact that if he tells you he’ll do something, you can count on him to do it.

If your guy blows hot and cold, that’s not a good sign. At best, he’s emotionally immature and has zero sense of responsibility, making him more trouble than he’s worth. But the chances are also good that he’s using you and just plain doesn’t care.

So, at the end of the day, if you feel like something’s wrong in a dating situation, you’re probably right. Trust your instincts and say no to situations that don’t feel right. After all, you won’t have any room in your life for the right man if you keep on wasting time with the wrong ones.

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Chris Dee

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