Her Written Truth

Chapter 5

I found myself sitting to our kitchen table toying with my wedding ring. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what happened. Bottle of wine and a glass sitting in front of me, I heard the garage door lifting.

Jonathan walked in holding gifts. I didn’t even care what he had. I left my wedding ring and band on the table and made my way to our guest room. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.

I lay in the bed thinking about everything. Our wedding day. Had that meant anything to him? How could it if he still found the time and the courage to cheat? Should I even hear him out?

I tried my hardest to fight back the tears. It was hard as hell. The hardest thing I ever had to do I felt like.

Moments later, he entered the room. “We need to talk about this baby.”

Is that seriously all you have to say right now?

“Jonathan, I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice. Please just leave me alone.”

I was furious. I had every right to be. How would he feel had I done this to him?

I felt his weight at the foot of the bed. Then I felt him laying down behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I broke. My tears flowing like a river down my face onto the pillow I lay on. He tightened his arms around me.

“I hate that I hurt you like this baby,” he whispered. I cried harder. He tightened his arms around me. “I am so sorry. What can I do to make it better? Please tell me. I can’t loose you. Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it. I love you. With everything baby. I want to fix this. Please just talk to me.”

But I didn’t want to talk. I couldn’t stop shaking in his arms. That only made him pull me closer. Hold me tighter. “I really want you to leave me alone right now.” My voice cracked as I spoke those words.

“I won’t,” he replied. “Not until you talk to me.”

The man I loved. The man I lived for. The one person who had my heart. The one person I would go to hell and back with, for. With one little mistake, he lost everything he worked so hard to get.

I felt his arms loosen and then tighten around me again. Foolishly, not even sure what came over me, I turned over to face him. His arms loosening enough to allow me movement. I buried my face in his chest. I heard him take a deep breath, then I felt his fingers in my hair. He was actually comforting me.

I sank into his embrace.

“I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead. “I know you won’t believe me, but I promise you it only happened once. I should have been smarter. I can admit that. I don’t know what came over me. It should have never happened. I can’t tear my family apart. I can’t loose you. I hate to see you hurt like this. I wish I could take the pain away but I know that will take a lot. It’s literally breaking my heart to see you with tears on your face. Especially knowing that I’m the reason their there. I know you’ll probably never forgive me, but I will do any and everything to prove to you my love for you. I made a stupid decision. You owe me the silent treatment. That I deserve. I just cannot take being away from you baby. I’ll leave you alone for now. When you’re ready to talk I’ll be upstairs. I love you.”

But I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to hear from my husband why he decided to fuck another woman. What woman in her right mind would actually want to hear the wretched details? I couldn’t even think about why he might have done it let alone why he actually did it.

The tears wouldn’t stop falling. I felt my pillow, drenched below my head. All I could think about was why. I played back every moment from the last 3 months of our lives. I couldn’t wrap my head around anything. Couldn’t figure it out. I was truly hurt.

I got up and went into the guest bathroom. I grabbed a towel from the linen closet, dampened it with warm water and cleaned the tears from my face. I looked in the mirror. The woman looking back at me I didn’t even recognize. My eyes were swollen. My face was red. I could see the hurt stuck in my face. The tears flowed again.

I rinsed the towel and wiped again but I couldn’t seem to keep the tears off my face. As fast as I wiped them away they were flowing again.

When I was finally able to contain myself, I crawled back onto the bed, clasped a dry pillow and drifted off to sleep.

I felt a blanket draped over me. I looked up to see his face. He was on the phone. Walking out the room, closing the door behind himself I heard him mutter something about a restraining order.

I didn’t say anything. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was only noon. I lay there a few more minutes. I decided that maybe I should just talk to him, listen to what he had to say. I wasn’t sure it would make a difference but I had to give him a chance to explain, right?

I thought back to all the times he said he would never hurt me. All the promises he made about how I was the only woman in his life and in his eyes that he would ever be attracted to. How he would never step outside of me. Of us. Of our home. Then I wondered if it had all been a lie.

I lay there for about 15 minutes. I found the strength to get up out of the bed and go into the living room. He had the remote in his hand but the tv wasn’t on. I wondered why. Was he loosing it?

“I’m ready to talk,” I whispered.

He looked up at me. His eyes glossy. “I thought you were still asleep,” he said, getting up from where he sat moving swiftly across the room. I remained stuck where I stood.

“You actually woke me up.”

“We don’t have to talk now. We can wait. Talk later. It’s up to you.”

But I wanted to talk NOW. I had to get a few things off my chest. For some reason, I had to know why. “No, we can talk now.” I moved across the room and sat in the couch. I couldn’t make eye contact with him. Hell I couldn’t look at him.

I was hurting. I could feel a gaping hole in my chest. I was shattered. For a minute I wondered if the pain would ever go away.

I started off, “You have hurt me worse than you will ever know Jonathan. For the first time since we’ve been together, one stupid thing broke everything we’ve built.” I paused. For the first time since that morning I looked at him. The tears flooded my face. Yet again. He reached for me, I put my hands up in front me, shaking my head no. “Don’t. Please. Just don’t,” he eased back. I continued, “I never imagined that you would be the one to do this to me. We got married. We have a family together. How could you do this? Why did you do this? Did you for one second even think about me? About your children? What this might do to us?” I gave him the floor.

“No. Actually I wasn’t thinking,” that pissed me off. At least he looked me in my eyes and told the truth. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut. “It just happened. And I know there’s more than likely no way to fix this, but it’s worth a try. Whatever it takes I’m willing to do. I just need a chance baby. I can’t loose you. I can’t stand to see you hurting like this. Whatever you want, whatever I can do just let me know. I’ll do anything, except sign divorce papers. I can’t live without you. I can’t function without you. I’m begging you. Seeing these tears on your face now is killing me.”

I wiped my tears over and over again. Listening to him plea like that broke my heart more. I never heard him beg for anything in his life, in all our years together. It kind of made me want to see what he had up his sleeve. I couldn’t be that gullible though. I had to really make him fight for it.

“Leave.”

“What,” I could hear in his voice how stunned he was.

“Leave. Go stay by your brother or your mother or a hotel for all I care but I want you out of here by the time my children come home. You’re more than welcome to have dinner with us every night. Hell to sweeten the deal you can even stay until the kids are in bed. No later than 10. It’s on you to figure out what to tell them and I will send them to ask you so you need to start figuring out what to tell them. No divorce. I agree. Because I feel like it’ll hurt the kids more than it will hurt me but I can’t be around you right now. Not like this. I need some time to get over this. It hurts too much. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened this morning.”

“Just leave?”

“I didn’t stutter.”

“And then what?”

“We cross that bridge when we get to it but for now I’m going lay back down. I have the worst headache right now. The kids will be home by 4. You have until then to be gone.”

“So this is how we fix it,” he asked, his voice cracking.

“This is where we start. Fixing it is on you. I can’t tell you how to do it. All I can say is it’ll be a lot and it’ll be a while. If you want this you’ll make it work but if not then so be it. We’re eating leftovers tonight. It’ll say a lot if you show up for dinner.”

With that statement I walked away. I still couldn’t wrap my head around this. I loved him with everything in my soul. I always told him when guys made passes at me and we would laugh together about it. I wondered why he didn’t tell me about her. Not one single detail. Not even the fact that she had even approached him.

I just couldn’t stand the fact that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to hide it from me for a reason. I hoped that wasn’t the case. If so, a divorce was definitely happening.

I went back into the guest room. I found some music to listen to. I found myself crying, thinking about when I found out I was pregnant with our first kid.

Chapter 6

We had been together for 3 years. Took a few college courses together. I wasn’t really into the school thing once I graduated high school but we still both worked and took classes part time.

He did a construction thing with his step father and I worked a retail job, something simple. He said he didn’t want me working but I couldn’t just sit inside.

I was at work one day, feeling horrible. I wasn’t at work an hour when I had to run to the restroom. I couldn’t hold it in. I threw up everywhere.

I heard someone coming in after me calling my name out.

“Jourdan,” the bitchy manager Debby. I hated her. “Are you okay? We need you on the floor?”

More vomit came up before I could answer her.

“Owe. Your throwing up. Well I can’t let you go home. So you have 5 minutes to pull yourself together or you’re fired.”

“Well fuck. Fire me. Bitch I’m throwing up. I can’t just,” more vomit. It just came out.

What did I eat today?

I skipped breakfast. Wasn’t feeling it. And I hadn’t taken my lunch yet. Come to think of it, I didn’t feel bad that morning. I actually felt fine up until 10 minutes ago.

“Well empty your locker on your way out.” She left.

I sat in the bathroom for a few more minutes, just to be sure nothing else planned on coming up. I called Jonathan.

“Yes beautiful,” he answered the phone so cheerfully. I smiled.

“I just lost my job. Can you come get me please?”

“What do you mean you lost your job?”

“I’ll explain when you get here,” I replied. “Just come get me.”

“I’m on my way.” The call ended.

A few moments later I was climbing into his car. He was so excited to see me. We hadn’t seen each other all week and already had plans on spending the weekend together. I just wasn’t sure I was up for it anymore. I was excited to see him too, I just wasn’t feeling too good.

“You okay baby,” he asked, his tone telling me he was clearly worried.

“Fine,” I replied, wiping my hand across my face. “I really just wanna lie down.”

“Your house or mine. My house is empty for the next few days.”

“Pit stop a mine first,” I asked. “I want to take a shower, then we can head to your residence.”

“Or , you can just take a shower by me. Pack a bag. We can stay the weekend there since it’s empty. Are you sure your okay baby?”

“I really just need to lie down for a few. I’m sure it’s nothing. May just be s stomach bug”

“Okay.”

We talked about a lot on our way to my house. I told him about my experience that morning. He joked about me being pregnant. What he didn’t know was, I did actually think that I might be.

I kept trying to think about if I’d had my period that month or not. I was so engulfed in working and keeping up with homework I hadn’t even noticed. I usually kept track of it in my phone but someone had stolen my car the past week and my phone was in there so I pretty much lost everything. The phone I was using at the moment belonged to Jonathan’s brother. I was just waiting for pay day. I was stubborn and refused to let him buy me a phone.

I walked into my mothers front door and there she was, passed out asleep on the couch, a empty vodka bottle in her left hand. Some man was sitting in the recliner, watching tv. He glanced at me. Smiled. I rolled my eyes, made my way to my bedroom. Something about him made me feel uncomfortable. I sent a quick text to Jonathan.

If I’m not out in 5 minutes, you come inside.

He didn’t reply which meant that he was ready and waiting. I already had a bag packed for the weekend. All I had to grab was my toiletries from my bathroom. I started throwing stuff in the bag, unaware what I was even grabbing.

I heard footsteps. I wasn’t sure who it was. The door swung open. There he stood.

“Heading out,” he asked. I could smell the liquor on him.

“Going out to eat with my boyfriend tonight. I have some errands to run tomorrow. Who are you exactly?”

“Your new roommate,” he smirked, walking into my bedroom and closing the door behind himself.

I heard Jonathan’s car door close.

It’s been five minutes already?

I really didn’t care. I was honestly just more appreciative of the fact that he was coming into the house.

“I think you should get out of my room,” I said to him. I was still packing up my bag. Checking to make sure I had everything I needed.

“Or what,” he asked, walking around the bed to me. He sat down next to where I stood. I backed away. The liquor aroma made me want to hurl. I grabbed my stomach.

“Please leave,” I said aloud.

I heard the front door slam shut. He was clearly too drunk to hear anything. Even the loudest noises.

“I like what I see. I saw your photos but they didn’t do you any justice babygirl.”

I was completely disgusted. My bedroom door swung open. There stood Jonathan. My knight in shining armor. Perfect timing. I could see the anger in his eyes.

I quickly grabbed my bags off my bed and made my way to him before he could set foot in my room. I was just ready to get out of there. I could feel myself about to throw up everywhere.

“Let’s go,” I said to him placing my hand on his chest. He was trembling.

He looked at me, his jaw relaxing. I had never seen him this angry. He reached for my bags. I gave them to him. Shit was heavy anyway.

By the time we made it downstairs, my mother was coming up. “And where exactly do you think you going?”

“Anywhere but here,” I replied sarcastically. I pushed past her and made my way out, Jonathan in tow.

She had a serious drinking problem. I hated that about her. Her abuse of alcohol led her to be crazy. I really believed that if she laid off the liquor she would probably be better off.

On the way to his house, Jonathan drove like a mad man. Actually had me terrified to be in the car with him. I got nauseous. Asked him to pull over but he was clearly still in his state of rage.

I reached over and touched him. He was still trembling. He looked at me.

“I need you to pull over,” I said to him. He did. As soon as I opened the car door I was vomiting. I felt his hand on my back.

“Should I bring you to your doctor,” he asked. I could hear in his voice he was still fighting to calm himself.

“No,” I replied. “I think I know what it is.”

I knew exactly what the problem was. First, I was starving. Second, I had to be pregnant.

I asked him to stop at the corner store down the street from his house. I went in alone. A few guys stood out front. I knew that made him uneasy. But I didn’t want him to know what I was buying. I had to be sure before I said anything to him. I mean, he did joke about it but I had to be sure for myself first.

We got to his house, he cut the engine but sat for a second. I didn’t move either.

“You okay,” I asked him. He had me kind of nervous. Only problem I had no idea what I was nervous about.

“No,” his response was dry.

“Well lets go inside. I’m ready to take a shower and lay down.”

“You hungry,” he asked me.

“No. Not really.”

“Was today your first day throwing up?”

Now I really was nervous. “Yes.”

“When was you last period?”

Fuck. He knows. Or at least thinks? “I don’t remember. I think I may have missed it.”

He handed me the house key and got out of the car. I made my way to the front door and inside while he grabbed my bags from the back seat. I beat him up to his room. I planned to let him go take his shower first while I went back downstairs and took the pregnancy test but it didn’t work out like that.

He came into his room. I was taking my shoes off. He grabbed my hand pulling me toward his bed. He sat on the edge, grabbing my waist pulling me closer to him. He took a deep breath.

“You are so beautiful,” he said.

I felt butterflies in my stomach. Or a baby?

I smiled, “Thank you baby.”

I kissed him. He pulled away, looked me in my eyes. The look on his face serious.

“I promise you don’t have to deal with this alone. I am here every step of the way.”

I looked at him confused.

“Jonathan what are you talking about,” I asked him.

“Did you eat anything today?”

“No,” I said.

“Is there a possibility that you’re pregnant,” he asked. “I mean we haven’t been using condoms.”

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t respond.

“My mother and sisters have all been saying something about a baby,” he finally said. “I didn’t want it to be true because we both still have our whole lives ahead of us and you talk so much about traveling and your career. I don’t want you to limit yourself from anything. I mean I don’t want you working true but I also, more than that, want to see you fulfill your dreams.”

I couldn’t figure out what to say. He continued.

“You have no idea what’s going through my mind right now. Part of me is ready for this but there’s another part of me that’s hoping this isn’t happening so soon.”

I hugged him. “Listen,” I said, “if I am then we have no choice but to deal with this. But if I’m not then we just need to be more careful. I bought a couple tests and I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure but you are more than welcome to await the results with me. If I am pregnant I don’t regret anything that we did to get to this point. I love you with everything and I wouldn’t want this with anybody else.”

He squeezed me. I felt tears fall from my eyes.

Why the fuck are you crying?

“Are you okay,” he asked.

“I’m fine baby,” I replied, pulling away from him. “Let’s just get this over with.”

We stared at 4 positive pregnancy tests. I couldn’t believe it. I was excited. I was scared. I was nervous. Hell my emotions were everywhere. I cried.

Wrapping his arms around me he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m terrified,” I replied. “How do I tell my mama? That’s first. What do we do from here? This isn’t how things were supposed to happen.”

“I know baby,” he said, running his fingers through my hair. He was so comforting, “But we have no choice at this point. Birth control clearly didn’t help so now we deal with this. We have to accept it one way or another.”

I didn’t know the first thing about parenting. I didn’t know what to expect. His growling stomach shook me back to reality. I laughed. Pulled away from him.

“Hungry much,” I joked.

“Starving,” he laughed, “but I want to make sure your okay first.”

“I’ll be fine baby,” I paused. “I just don’t know what to expect. Neither one of us are in a position to raise a baby right now.”

“Well, until we find out how far along you are, excuse me, WE are,” he laughed, “I’m quitting school. I’ll work for my father full time until I can find something better. You have a settlement check coming, you put that up. Whatever money you have in your account you can save it. Instead of going out all weekend, we can cook. Stay inside. Start saving. Make a plan. Start investing. When we have enough saved, and hopefully that’s before the baby gets here, we get our own place. I’ll talk to my mother. See what she’ll say about letting you stay here until then.”

I hugged him. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was seriously ready to give up his whole life for this baby. For OUR baby. Our first born.

He broke away from me, moved to the tub. Turned the water on. Put the stopper in the drain, added some bubble bath, a little epsom salt, then moved back to me.

“I told you you won’t have to deal with this alone. I meant that,” he said looking me in my eyes. “Whatever you need, I’m here to provide.”

“Thank you baby,” I said. My eyes filled up with tears all over again.

“Take your bath and relax,” he said. “I’m going to go to the store real quick, pick up a few things. Maybe we could have a little movie night.” He winked at me.

I laughed at him. He was so goofy.

I kissed his lips. A long drawn out kiss that I swear lasted longer than it felt. I loved kissing him. His lips felt great. But I did want to take a bath.

I dropped down from the countertop where I sat. I looked down at my four positive pregnancy tests. He wrapped his arms around me. I looked at our reflection in the mirror. I took a deep breath.

I had to prepare myself. Start eating better. Drinking more water. Stay on top of my appointments.

You can do this!

I kept telling myself that over and over again. I mean I wasn’t going through it alone but I was still terrified. It had to be normal. Doesn’t every first time mom get nervous? I just had to make sure I took care of myself. All I wanted most in that moment was for my baby to be healthy.

Jonathan kissed me goodbye. I made my way to the tub. The water felt great. I sank right in. I was so comfortable in that moment.

I sat and soaked for a good 10 minutes before I decided it was time for me to get out. I got hot. Made me dizzy.

He hadn’t made it back by the time I finished my bath. Instead of going for my duffle bag, I made use of one of his T-shirt’s, which on me, looked more like a nightgown.

His fragrance actually seemed to ease my nausea. I thought to myself maybe if I tried I could get some sleep.

I climbed into his massive bed and sunk into the greatest sleep that I had had in months. The aroma of food as well as his touch woke me up.

Chapter 7

“You need to eat baby,” his first words to me once I was fully aware. “I let you sleep while I cooked and took my shower. But you haven’t eaten all day. It’s not good. Not for you or the baby.”

I couldn’t deny that I was hungry, hell starving. “What are we eating?”

“You want to eat up here and watch a movie or would you like to go downstairs,” he asked, clearly making me pick.

“Let’s go downstairs,” I replied. I wanted to move around a little bit.

He pulled the covers back, helped me out of bed.

“I don’t need you to help me,” I said. “I’m pregnant love, not crippled.”

He laughed. “I actually enjoy catering to you. I love your smile.” He kissed my cheek.

That made me blush.

We made our way downstairs. I made myself comfortable on the couch while he fixed our food. I grabbed the remote and proceeded to find a movie to watch.

I was a die hard Will Smith fan so I preferred something from his work. I found Suicide Squad. Which was action packed and one of his best movies. Everything he did left me in awe.

Jonathan brought our plates out, sitting them on the coffee table, then rushed back off into the kitchen. Mashed potatoes, which looked homemade, grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli.

I started picking off my plate. Starting with the broccoli. I loved broccoli and potatoes. I knew of two foods right there that I would be asking for at three in the morning already. I laughed to myself.

“I forgot to get drinks,” he yelled from the kitchen. “You want a coke or a bottle of water? I know you don’t drink cokes often.”

“I don’t drinks cokes at all. I don’t drink any carbonated drinks. Water is fine. I feel a little dehydrated anyway.”

He came back with 2 forks, my water, and a coke for himself.

“Maybe you should stop drinking cokes as well,” I shot him a sly look.

“Never,” he laughed popping his coke open and taking a long swig. I laughed. He really was a goofball.

We ate our food and watched the movie. Didn’t say much of anything. I didn’t even finish my food. Ate until I was full and gave the rest to him. He didn’t deny it.

“Dessert,” he asked once he finished.

“No,” I replied. “I’ll be pushing it. Let’s just watch the movie.”

“Okay.”

I grabbed the blanket to my left and one of the couch pillows. I lay across his lap placing the pillow below my head. He ran his fingers through my hair and rubbed my back. I was so comfortable there.

About ten minutes later, he asked me to get up. I sat up. He got up and went upstairs. I heard the toilet flush, followed by his footsteps rushing down the stairs. I saw lights flash off until the only light that I saw was from the television.

He appeared at the bottom of the stairs making his way around the couch to me with a bigger blanket and a pillow in his arms. He dropped it next to me then disappeared down the hallway to the side of the stairs.

Only thing I knew he went down that hallway for was the thermostat. He came back to the living room and spread the blanket out over me. The air kicked on. It was then I noticed it was a little warm in the house. I hadn’t noticed it before.

We curled up on the couch together, watching the movie. I pushed back against his body as he made himself comfortable behind me. I couldn’t lie, I was horny as hell. Guess it was hormones.

“You comfortable,” he asked me. His hands started exploring my curves.

I turned on my stomach, he rubbed my back. “I am now.”

He laughed. His hands moved up and down my back, massaging, then caressing. He sent chills down my spine. I turned my face to him. Closed my eyes. I could feel him watching me.

I felt his lips on my forehead, followed by his hand stroking my hair, then back to my back making his way to my ass.

I didn’t put on a pair of underwear. I actually hated wearing them.

He rubbed my ass, then laughed. “You are so nasty.”

“Only for you,” I replied. I looked at him.

“This is how you got pregnant,” he joked.

I laughed. He was right. He brought my inner freak out. I had done things with him that I thought I would never do. He did things to me that I had never experienced with anybody else before. My level of satisfaction with him was undeniable and unbelievable. For me at least.

I turned my body completely toward him. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I threw my leg over his waist. He intertwined with my legs, with my arms, with my body.

He kissed me. With passion. I tightened my arms around him. In one motion, he moved. I was on my back and he hovered over me. I looked up at him. He was so handsome. I caressed his cheek.

“What’s wrong,” he whispered.

A single tear left my eye, “Nothing,” I replied. “I’m just happy I gave you the chance.”

He smiled, “I’m happy you did too baby. I love you.”

He kissed me. I kissed him.

I held onto him. Tightly. Kept my legs locked around his back.

He took a second, turned the television off and took his clothes off. I sat up and removed the shirt I was wearing.

Jonathan looked at my body like he had never seen me naked before. I giggled as I stood. I turned my back to him and gave him a sexy little pose. He laughed.

“Might as well get used to this view,” I said, “because for a good five or six months I’m going to be fat.”

“I’ll always think your beautiful,” he replied wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing his friend against my ass.

I bent forward. “This position okay?”

“Perfect.” He placed one hand on my waist, his other hand he grabbed himself with. “You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll be fine baby,” I said. I reached for him. Leaning back against him. “I just need to feel you inside me.”

I kneeled in front of him on the couch. He bent forward, kissing my neck, kissing my spine, caressing my yearning body. Turning me on even more. Teasing me. I laughed at him.

He reached down in between my legs and massaged my swollen clit. Moving his fingers back to my opening, he let out a soft sigh.

“You’re so wet already,” he whispered.

“That’s your fault,” I joked with him. He laughed.

He slid his fingers inside me. Kind of caught me off guard. I shuddered. I didn’t know if it was because my senses were heightened because I was pregnant or I was just extra horny but either way, whatever he did felt great.

He always gave me new feelings. New experiences. Always brought me to a different world and back.

I moaned. He pulled his fingers out and guided himself to me. He paused.

“What,” I asked, looking back at him.

“You sure your okay in this position,” he sounded concerned.

“I’m fine baby.”

He had no issues taking me from this position before. Maybe me being pregnant made him more concerned about me. That only turned me on too.

He went inside me. Worked slowly, passionately, until he filled me up. I tried my hardest to control my volume. He laughed at me. Clearly caught that.

“You don’t have to be quiet tonight,” he whispered in my ear. “We’re here alone. I want to hear you sing.”

I laughed. He stroked. I moaned. He stroked again and again. My moans grew louder and louder. He continued to stroke. He felt so good.

“Yes baby,” I said to him. “YES!”

“That feel good,” he asked still caressing my body.

He was right where I needed him to be. I felt my orgasm building up. I dug my nails into the back of the couch. I started moving with him.

He grabbed my hips, holding me still while he continued to stroke.

“Let me do it,” he said. He took control.

I let go of the couch, grabbed his wrists. Straightened my back. Looked back at him the best I could. I could see his sweat building up on his forehead.

“Right there baby,” I whispered. I tried to fight my orgasm but I lost that battle. I came. HARD!

“I’m coming,” he said. He squeezed my hips. I felt his dick swell inside me, followed by his seed filling my walls. I could barely hold myself up.

A week was too long. I needed this every damn day. Plus we never lasted long in that position.

He grabbed his shirt from the couch next to us.

“I’ll give you the one I had on and go grab another one,” he said.

“It’s fine babe.”

We used the shirt I wore to clean ourselves off. He gave me the shirt he wore and pulled on his underwear and basketball shorts.

We cleaned downstairs, cleaned the kitchen, then made our way back up to his bedroom and fell asleep holding each other.

He kept rubbing my stomach. At one point I kept my hand on top of his. I was still a little nervous about it. I was still accepting the fact that I was pregnant. Little did I know, this was only the beginning.

Chapter 8

At seven and a half months, I found myself dealing with more than I thought I could handle all in one day. My pregnancy drained me.

Jonathan’s mother had agreed to let me move in until we found our own place. That didn’t take long. He was determined to have everything together before the baby arrived.

My mother showed up at my baby shower but she made it clear she didn’t like it nor did she want to be there. I wasn’t in the mood that day to deal with anybody but I had some things I had to attend to for my baby.

After getting my makeup and hair done I managed to squeeze into a fitted white dress. I felt fat.

I sat in what was now Jonathan’s old room staring at myself in the mirror. He walked into the room, calling out my name.

“What’s wrong baby,” he asked once he saw me making his way to me.

“I look horrible,” I replied, never taking my eyes off my reflection. “I’m so fat.”

I looked at him, “You look beautiful sweetheart.” He always thought I looked great.

“No I don’t,” I sighed. “And I’m uncomfortable.”

“Well,” he grabbed my hands, “if you can endure this for 4 hours then you can wear T-shirt’s and joggers until you go into labor. Deal?”

“Fine,” I took a deep breath and stood up. “It’s for the baby.”

“I’ll give you a minute. Take your time. I’ll be downstairs entertaining everyone,” he kissed my cheek and stood to leave.

I grabbed his hand. I felt like I needed to tell him. I had been I pain since early that morning. I didn’t know what it was. I just didn’t want to worry him.

“If I say we need to go to the ER please don’t argue,” I said to him. “I’ve been in pain since this morning and I’m not sure what it is.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner,” he asked. “We could have rescheduled this baby.”

“Your mother already paid for everything though and I’m honestly just ready to get this day over with so we can go home. You’ve been working a lot lately and I miss you.”

“I would have taken some time off baby. All you needed to do was say something,” he hugged me. “I miss you too. I just wanted to save up enough where we don’t have to worry.”

“I know love.” I looked in his eyes. “That’s why I didn’t say anything. You are the only one of us that’s working right now. Our child is more important than us going out or whatever the case may be. I just don’t want him to worry about anything. I want him to be set.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

“Plus all I’ve been doing since I got pregnant is sleeping.”

“We could have had a nap date,” he joked.

I laughed.

“There’s that beautiful smile.”

He kissed me. “Let’s get to our guests,” I said. He was turning me on. I did need a quickie but I was more ready to get home and that pain. The pain was bearable but what concerned me was that it was constant and at times it spiked stronger out of nowhere.

We joined our guests. I didn’t want to but I managed to force up the strength to deal with everybody. I talked and made conversation.

Some of his family I still hadn’t met. This was the first little meet and greet but they were all so welcoming. I appreciated that. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong and Jonathan had to see in my face that I was trying my hardest to hide my worry. He stayed close to me.

“What’s wrong baby,” he asked kissing my cheek.

I sighed, “It may be nothing but I’m not sure. I think maybe we should go to the ER.”

“The pain? Where does it hurt? I’ll get my mama. Go upstairs.”

“No,” I grabbed him. “I don’t want her to worry. Let’s just go to the hospital.”

“If we leave now everybody will worry. Just go upstairs,” he said, reassuringly.

“Fine,” I whispered.

I made my way upstairs. I had to pee too, so I made my way to the bathroom. When I pulled down my panties, my heart dropped. There was blood. A lot of it.

I searched for my phone but I couldn’t find it.

Shit! It’s downstairs.

I heard a knock at the door.

“Babe, it’s me,” I heard his voice. “Can I come in?”

“No,” I yelled. “But you can definitely send your mother in.”

Ms. Jane made her way in the bathroom. His mother was a nurse. Had been a nurse for years.

“Is everything okay,” she asked, walking up to me. I could hear the panic in her voice, which meant that Jonathan told her about the situation.

The door swung open. Jonathan stood there.

I showed Ms. Jane the sight that I saw in between my legs. She turned to Jonathan. “She definitely needs to go to a doctor.”

“I’ll be waiting in the car,” he replied in almost a whisper. He disappeared.

“Listen,” Ms. Jane placed her hand on mine, “do not worry yourself okay? In some women’s cases a little bleeding is normal. And he may be coming a little early. Don’t let my son scare you.”

“It’s mostly the pain that’s scaring me. I don’t want to loose my baby,” I replied to her.

“It’s okay. I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with Jonathan. Only difference I was 8 months pregnant. Close to full term with him. But it is okay to deliver as early as 6 months and give birth to a healthy baby.”

“That’s all I want,” I said. “I just want my baby to be okay.”

She hugged me, “You have nothing to worry about. Just get to the hospital.”

She walked with me downstairs. Jonathan met me at the last step taking my hand.

“You ready,” he asked. He was more pulling me than helping me. But I was concerned too so I didn’t say anything. I just moved along side him.

He drove fast. Had me scared. I just knew he was gonna wreck.

I reached over and touched his arm. He was trembling, of course. I hated when he was nervous or upset. His energy rubbed off on me.

“Baby,” I whispered.

He looked at me. Didn’t say anything. I reached for his hand. He relaxed into the seat, intertwined his fingers with mine. He kept looking back and forth between me and the road. He squeezed my hand, I squeezed his back.

“I’m okay,” he finally said. He pulled my hand to his lips, kissed the back followed by each one of my fingers.

“Everything will be fine baby,” I said to him.

He reached over and rubbed my stomach. My hands followed his.

“I hope so,” he bit his bottom lip. I took a deep breath.

We made it to the ER. Once we made it there and got settled in a room, he called my doctor.

I was definitely in labor. I gave birth that same night to the most beautiful little boy that I had ever seen. A big baby too. He was 8 pounds, 6 ounces and had a head full of hair. My heart melted when I saw him. I fell in love all the way over again.