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Guilty Pleasures: A Playlist


By Naomi GoldPublished 19 days ago Updated 19 days ago 4 min read
Guilty Pleasures: A Playlist
Photo by Seyi Ariyo on Unsplash

I’m a woman who has a lot of feelings about things I’m never shy to articulate. I can be judgmental. But now you all can judge me.

I want to thank Mike Singleton for inspiring this playlist. You can see his guilty pleasures here.

I am not submitting this to the Musical Milestones challenge—I’m working on something very special for that.

Music is a huge part of my life and identity. I’m an 80’s baby. I’m from an era when music videos were played on television instead of reality shows. Even as a toddler, I preferred MTV and VH1 over cartoons. My favorite thing to do as a child was to put vinyl on my Fisher-Price record player and sing my heart out, or make mix tapes (yes, with actual cassette tapes).

As you may have guessed, I’m a music snob. I like every genre, from almost every era, but I have a low tolerance for most mainstream songs released after the 70’s. Indie sounds much better to me.

However, I don’t feel guilty for liking something because it’s popular. For me, it’s about loving songs with bad lyrics. By bad I mean highly explicit, or ridiculous. You’ll see what I mean.

“Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé ft. Jay-Z

I’m sorry Bey Hive. I love Beyoncé, my fellow Virgo. I saw Destiny’s Child in concert 22 years ago. Beyoncé’s live vocals on “Dangerously in Love” gave me goosebumps. Fuck, she can sang.

But this song? It has the stupidest lyrics I’ve ever heard in my life! Yet, it’s such a bop, isn’t it?

“I Fink U Freeky” by Die Antwoord

I love Die Antwoord so, so much! I just wish I didn’t.

“Cotton Candy” by Insane Clown Posse

Here’s where it gets embarrassing. In high school, I was a juggalo. An ICP fanatic. So were my best friends, Julie and Heather. In fact, I bought Heather a bunch of 2-liters of Faygo so we could have a Faygo fight at her birthday party. Not all the guests were as enthusiastic about it as her and I. There was a kitty pool and some wrestling involved.

Some of you have no idea what I’m talking about. You’re thinking, “What’s Faygo?”

Count yourself lucky. Nana always had Faygo, Dr Pepper, and Coca-Cola in her fridge, which was confusing (why so many choices?), and also why I was hyperactive while visiting.

I don’t care what anyone says. I still find the Tunnel of Love EP to be a masterpiece. And this bouncy cunnilingus anthem has a special place in my heart.

“I Sit on Acid” by Lords of Acid

I loved dancing to Lords of Acid as a stripper. Naughty lyrics set to house music is what they do. I’m not embarrassed to like this iconic tune, but it isn’t one I can play in mixed company. The only lyrics in the entire song:

“Sit on your face. I wanna sit on your face.”

“Dick in the Air” by Peaches

I adore Peaches. She makes feel-good music for bad girls, and she was always on my set lists in my stripper days.

The video is as humorous as the song. She got the legendary Margaret Cho to wear a dick!

Fun fact: I used to do stand-up comedy. It was only for a little while, but I never bombed. I grew bored of it. It isn’t a challenge for me to make (most) people laugh. A woman approached me on Facebook about possibly joining her female comedy troupe. I invited her to one of my performances. Afterwards, she said it was too raunchy. I think she was trying to get all-ages gigs, whereas I wanted to perform in bars for the thrill of it.

This is another song I can’t play in mixed company. But I just know I’d get along with Peaches and Margaret.

“Sex Shooter” by Apollonia 6

This song was written by Prince. My mother is the biggest Prince fan you could ever meet. I was raised on his discography, which maybe explains a lot about me—my love of the color purple, and the way I’m both shamelessly sexual and deeply spiritual. My first concert was seeing Prince at the state fair with my mom when I was 4 years old. It’s kinda funny how I ended up living in Minneapolis, his city.

I wish I could perform this song with two other women, all of us in lingerie. I wanna be Apollonia 6. Yet, those synthesizers are kinda embarrassing. It’s like my love of the movie Labyrinth. You just had to be there. You had to be an 80’s baby to get it.

“Mary Jane” by Rick James

My mom is to blame for this one too. When she was pregnant with me, she’d press her womb against the giant speaker of her record player, playing Rick James. In her words, she wanted me “to be born funky.”

Thanks, mom.

I know Rick is just a Dave Chapelle meme to the kids these days, but he had jams. And I share his love for Mary Jane. I even wrote a limerick about her.

Hope you derived some guilty pleasure of your own from this. If not, it’s okay to laugh at me.

xo, Naomi

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About the Creator

Naomi Gold

Psalm 23:5

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Comments (19)

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  • Heather N King16 days ago

    All I gotta say is, “LOL”, in the best way possible. This was a fun read!

  • Em Starr16 days ago

    I generally agree with your good taste, so I am keen to check these guilty pleasures out. Especially the synth-heavy song. I love Prince and I'm from the Labyrinth era—I get it. 🖤

  • Congratulations on your Top Story

  • Definitely NSFW as a member of the clergy. But that doesn't mean they aren't interesting & wee bit of naughty fun.

  • PEACHES!! my favorite…. Love it 👏🏼😅 thanks for sharing

  • Roy Stevens17 days ago

    Hey, congrats on Top Story Naomi!

  • Paul Stewart17 days ago

    Yay, congrats! So glad this made it to TS!

  • Suze Kay17 days ago

    I think your mom succeeded... this certainly looks like the playlist of a funky lady! Thanks for sharing <3

  • Paul Stewart17 days ago

    This is a genius playlist and although I wasn't sure what was going to be in it. I am not entirely surprised and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Lords of Acid and Peaches are awesome in their way haha! Yes Drunk in Love is incredibly stupid. Really. It's like a flex about how much The Carters do it and do it well, or something. It's like driving past a car crash and not wanting to look but feeling compelled to look, plus they are a good looking and good sounding couple. I was never a fan of Insane Clown Posse but have known people who were and they were fine people, even if the fanbase gets a lot of negativity. The people I knew that were into them were nice. So, I dunno. Die Antwoord are both amazing and terrible, in a sinister, well-produced way. Enter the Ninja still bangs hard tho, haha! This list is missing something...possibly...have you ever or do you like Mindless Self Indulgence? (I am actually planning a covers playlist with a twist that will feature them) Great playlist though, I will definitely check out the ones I am less familiar with, even ICP, just to be fair. I was tempted to do a Guilty Pleasures playlist, but I've always had a weird view of that term. I don't necessarily agree with it. Like there are things I like that maybe I shouldn't or maybe they aren't cool or whatever, but I don't really feel guilty about liking them. Anyway, great stuff, and I am looking forward to your proper entry. I'm nearly finished mine. It's taking an awfully long time and I doubt I'll ever be totally happy with it, but it will be what it will be. I am also planning a Scottish-based one for the challenge too. I shall stop my mumbling now though. Great work, Naomi!

  • oh wow, i have not heard sex shooter in such a longggg time! i dare say though, my friend might give your mom a run for her money with Prince--she ADORES (yes that is intentional!!!) him!

  • Mark Gagnon19 days ago

    Boy, I must really be old. I recognized a couple of the artists but none of the songs. The 60s & 70s with a couple of 50s songs is where I'm stuck for music. Interesting story though!

  • Oooo, this was such an amazing playlist! I enjoyed it!

  • Roy Stevens19 days ago

    Not laughing at you, however I have a long-standing policy of never commenting on other peoples' musical choices, a lesson I learned as a teacher! I did enjoy your article though. 😉

  • J. R. Lowe19 days ago

    Hahah this is great. A couple of these are songs I listen to regularly, I won’t say which 😂

  • Kendall Defoe19 days ago

    Insane Clown Posse, Peaches and Apollonia 6? Where you have been all my life? Thank you for this. I am also working on something special for that Challenge. Can't wait!

  • JBaz19 days ago

    A few I know, and thanks to you, a few I will begin listening too. Thanks

  • Donna Fox19 days ago

    Naomi, I appreciate you sharing your musical taste and the commentary behind it! Unfortunately I know the sentiment you expressed about “Mary Jane” by Rick James all too well! Meaning that most of my musical taste came from my classic rock loving parents… for that reason alone I refuse to share my taste in music as it’s strictly for the shower or in my car alone! 💜

  • Caroline Craven19 days ago

    You never disappoint! Brill.

  • Some goodies here, Love Peaches, Rick James and Beyonce. Excellent work

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