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Future of Sexual Evolution

Sexual evolution presages a pear shaped, toothless urban man with a permanent erection.

By Filthy StaffPublished 8 years ago 8 min read
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The back seat of a car was produced by the sexual revolution. In the ever-growing search for man to adapt his environment to his sexual needs, a tipping point has been reached. In the future, it is the environment that will be the protagonist of biological sexual evolution.

Homo Terrestris

Man, homo terrestris is a steadfast, tough creature who from his own biological success was forced into being an urbanite with its attendant farming and husbandry. We have seen how this has always gone against the grain from the earliest recorded times of settlement. We know that the difficulty has arisen because his evolution fitted him for what he is a successful omnivorous predator with a taste and need for family life of great intimacy and delicacy. We have seen that his urban stage is a very bad second best. We know he has stumbled on in this stage despite its drawbacks because he is so able. But we can hardly expect so finely tuned an animal to relish urbanisation, something for which he was not biologically prepared, although biological forces drove him into the streets. We are aware of the conflict by numerous Breakpoints, the number of which are increasingly revealed. If what we are is not suited to urbanisation, what sort of man-like creature would be best suited to the environment homo terrestris has created? If we can answer that then a picture will emerge of the extent to which we would have to have our very natures altered to approximate this consummation.

Homo Urbanus

via Adam Martinakis

To deal with the parts separately. Physically homo urbanus needs to be rather smaller than us, perhaps 5' or even less, and weighing about 80 to 90 lbs. This would cut the food problem by half. If his muscular strength were scaled down so that his muscles approximated those of a 70-year-old ectomorph, then his protein requirements would be less than half ours, say 1.7 oz per day for the male, and 1.5 oz per day for the female. On the other hand, it would be better if this weak frame were plumply covered so that his nervous system was protected from the shock of TV, traffic, noise, and pollution.

We would want his taste and smell obliterated so he could tolerate the city's pollution and eat the ersatz food. He would of course have to be"vegetarian." Indeed, nothing he ate could come from animals, since this is an uneconomic way of producing even the little protein he needed. These factors together would mean a per capita reduction of pressure on food resources by up to 70-80 percent. Where now herds graze producing milk and steaks, more cities could be built, and protein factories erected.

His hearing would cut out above 90 decibels and below 40 so that city noise and hum wouldn't fatigue him. His voice would be less sonorous, have a shorter range, but conversation amplifiers would be on sale to make him heard by an effectively tone deaf society. These amps would also serve to show his commercial status, plain and deluxe models would be available at scaled prices.

His eyesight would only focus from 12 inches to about 100 feet; he wouldn't need to focus at greater distances since there would be nothing to see except more traffic, more blocks of flats. His acuity could all but disappear, but his color vision would be able to pick out any nuances, since his movements in the city would be signposted by color signs of crude unmistakable import.

He would have no hair on his body, head, or pubic region since hair collects pollution, dust, and parasites. His facial skin would be more or less homogeneous, rather than delicately delineated at the mouth and nostrils. The filth in the air would irritate lips, and he wouldn't need to sense anything with lips since all food would have equal consistency. The touch of plastic utensils would therefore not offend.

His nasal passages would be meshed with thick hair to filter city air. Leather cornea under leathery lids would be proof against the dust storms blown up by traffic. He wouldn't have eyebrows because they collect dust; he might have a third eyelid, like the camel, which slides over and is transparent, to protect against dust storms.

The index finger would be stubby for pushing buttons; the other fingers, with the exception of the thumb would be missing, since he'd never carry anything, and all controls, other than a button, would be activated by thumb and index finger, in hook or ring orientation. There would of course be no toes, no teeth, nor even salivary juices, since food would be a paste, not needing mastication.

The chest cavity would be much smaller than the belly. He wouldn't need to breathe much because he'd never do any work. He'd need a big abdomen to handle the immense amounts of sludge food. His large intestines would have no muscles because he would be constantly constipated. Bowel movements would be a thing of the past.

His alimentary canal would produce very few enzymes, since the sludge would be pre-digested. His liver would be small, and his kidney enormous to filter the pollutive materials in water, air and food.

No one would have a navel for no one would be born. It is wasteful to carry children in wombs, and it involves complications of the person-person relationship type. And so reproduction would become a strictly industrially regulated process. It is most unlikely they would be actually male or female. They would not belong to that minority. They would be non-deviate (sexual identity, heterosexuality, would be deviant) possessing a penis-like appendage at the crotch which would insert into a vagina. They would not need anyone else. Of course there would be perverts who, being morphologically non-deviant would team up with male or female, or both. This would prove democracy still existed.

Arms would be long, legs atrophied. Emotionally nothing would affect them. The most nightmarish riots would leave them unmoved. There would be riots because sometimes the supply of tranquillisers for the atrophied nervous system would run out, or not be delivered. Such failures are only to be expected in a city. A traffic jam might cause it. Or a power failure. Or a strike. Or a war.

Homo Urbanus: Male

via Adam Martinakis

The males would have even larger penises than today, because the only sensual pleasure that did not use up resources would be sexual, and consequently sexual pleasure would be at a premium. If he didn't take antisex-drive hormones, his penis would be permanently erect, since it takes less energy to have it engorged than to erect it time and time again. Orgasm would have disappeared, instead he would fall asleep, since otherwise he would have to produce a secretion during the orgasm which would use up valuable minerals. He would have atrophied testicles, not for producing sperm, but only the hormones to keep his sexual identity. In fact, he would be monocular; why have two?

Homo Urbanus: Female

via Adam Martinakis

The females would have no breasts, since suckling would lead to parental attachment and person-person relationships in mother and child; very inefficient. She would have an enormous vagina, but of course no womb. There would be one ovary, not for egg production, but for female identity hormone secretion. There would be no menstruation since this would mean loss of minerals in the blood. Orgasm would be going to sleep after a sufficient number of repetitious thrusts.

Homo Urbanus: Psyche

via Adam Martinakis

They would have no imagination, no great fears, hates, or loves that could lead them into personal confrontation which they couldn't afford when packed shoulder to what was a shoulder to what was a shoulder. Nuclear families would arise here and there when the fetus was delivered, by first class post, if they were part of the more highly trained homo urbani. Their appreciation of art would be based almost solely on color, since their ghastly shapes and sounds of the city would require their complete enervation to visual or volumetric values. They would be able to not see, hear, feel, or even be aware of the millions like themselves, for otherwise they might have a nervous breakdown, if they couldn't detach. They would be intensely religious, believing in an afterlife, to make up for this one. The city would be God.

In order that profit might still be made, they would have highly developed acquisitive appetites, envy, jealousy, power complexes, covetousness, greed, "racial" prejudice, (solely based on skin and eye color, color being paramount). Their possessions would be a "house" or "flat," a "car," "low-fi gear," TV, color cameras, and painting sets. Most items would be auto-destructed after a certain time so that they would have to keep working to keep industry going to manufacture more auto-destruct materials.

The city would be in a constant state of change, to keep everyone employed. Destruction and rebuilding would be planned by computer to be continuous. Change would not even be noticed. They would be motivated to rise high in whatever profession they had trained for, so that they would have a bigger number in their credit slip at the bank.

This tiny, fat, pear-shaped, envious, dull, unimaginative homo urbanus, would be perfectly adapted to city life. His art would flourish under gifted computers. He would vote for computers. His contempt for homo terrestris who found city life so ghastly would be complete, and so would his victory over homo terrestris, who would have finally vanished from the earth in the name of civilization, a word which would here come to mean genocide. True, homo urbanus would still have breakpoints, but none which would ever be tested and teased by the city, for the Lord thy God is a jealous God, and wouldn't like anything to go wrong with his creatures, whom he made in his own image.

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About the Creator

Filthy Staff

A group of inappropriate, unconventional & disruptive professionals. Some are women, some are men, some are straight, some are gay. All are Filthy.

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