“I love you Gina.“
“I love you too Martin.“
As the famous couple on Martin share a passionate kiss, the audience awed and the show went to commercial.
“I’m sorry I have the TV too loud.“ I scattered for the remote. “I’ll turned it down.” Snatching the remote off the queen size bed, he quickly put his hands on my hips.
“No... leave it on.“ He guided my footsteps back to the bed behind us as he stared down at me.
“How do you want me baby?”
“Anyway you like.”
Slightly irritated I breathe a deep breath.
“From the back?”
“Are you cool with that?”
“Baby, you only have thirty minutes I—“
“Yes yes,” nodding his head, “turn around, on your knees on the bed.”
“Let your feet hang off the side.” He stood by my ankles cupping my ass.
“Face the red wall... yeah like that.”
*Beep Beep Beep*
Slamming my hand on the side table pushing my phone to the floor. “Fuck,” I mumbled. *Beep Beep Beep* Quickly fumbling my right hand scrambling for the loud iPhone to press snooze.
Turning up with my head rested on my pillow once more, I stare at the eggshell wall of my bed room.
Having those dreams again... I thought
I turned my head to my side table and grabbed the Advil bottle next to my phone. I popped two and went back to sleep.
” And why do you think you are having those dreams again?" Dr. Lynn asked crossing her legs as she began to jot down notes. I nervously looked down at my dirty sneakers on her clean grey carpet while playing with my fingers.
“I don’t know...“
Why are my sneakers so dirty, I thought while I analyzed my outfit. White Nike sneakers with a beige scoop top and black sweats. Every time we have an appointment, she always vacuumed her carpet and you can tell she put a powder down to have a “fresh” scent; c'mon Natasha you could have cl-
I look up.
“Are you okay?“ I can tell she was concerned.
With a deep breath, blinking, “Yes.... well no..." nodding my head
“No? “ she leaned forward a little.
“If I was I wouldn’t be here...” forcing a giggle to ease the tension.
Breathing out with a smile.
“There’s nothing wrong with seeing a therapist and I hope you grow comfortable with me so that we can get to know each other better.”
Pressing my lips together, tucking my shoes further under the small table that separated us. Have to give her credit, she knows how to set the mood. Light dimmed, yellow and blue box of puff tissues, calm decor with navy blue walls. You would think she copied everything off from a Kohl’s magazine. But I am not going to cry. Nope. Not going to cry. Dark wood bookshelf filled with a rainbow of hard covered books, next to her computer desk. Mac computer... of course.
She looked at me, still smiling. “So," she said, placing her note pad and pen on the table, “Can you tell me?“
I quickly glanced at what she written.
Nothing but a word.
Turning my glance back to her.
“That’s all you wrote?“
“Well, Natasha... why are you here?”
“Because... I lost everything.” I can feel my face warming up. Damn.
My eyes starts to tear up. Damn it.
“I lost my everything Dr. Lynn and... “
Tears are pouring down my face.
“ ... and I don’t know how to get him back.”
She handed me the box of tissues from the tiny table. I quickly grabbed two puffs to catch my running nose.
“Start from the beginning “
We met by accident. He was on a blind date and I was out with a friend. Val took me to this new Greek restaurant that her mother-in-law raved about and she needed to vent to me about how much she hated her mother-in-law.
I was wearing a dull neon blouse with a black maxi skirt and black heels. I don’t think I will ever forget this day because of my headache. I had back to back meetings at the office and the last thing I wanted to do was hear Val complain about how Doris (mother-in-law) doesn’t know how to pronounce the word ask right. “It’s like she’s wearing braces or something,“ laughing as she sips her wine Val waves her right hand to her chest to swallow quickly and laughs, “Like are you asking me or are you axing me?"
Smiling I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t she 70?”
“Yes but that’s besides the point.”
Val gets up “I’ll be right back, have to pee.” As she walks towards the back by the bathrooms, I scanned the room and saw a man sitting at the bar.
He was looking dead at me.
I quickly looked down to the half finished pasta and took a long drink of my wine. I looked up and sure enough he was still looking.
Chestnut tone, brown eyes, and an unbelievable smile... smile? Wait he’s smiling at me. I smiled back. He took that as an okay to come over and introduce himself.
“Hi I’m Jordan.” Awaiting my hand, I shook his.
“Natasha, nice to meet you.”
Jordan and I had this magnetic connection, it was the craziest thing. Like he was made to be with me.
We were inseparable. I forgot what we were laughing about and completely forgot about Val. She walked to our table confused as ever when she saw us.
“Um... hey you.“ Ahe looked at him, then me. “Ohh hey, this is Jordan, Jordan, Val.
Definitely awkward at first, Jordan joining our Girls-night-out-two-person table, but breaking the ice came so naturally once Jordan offered to buy another round for us. By the end of the night he had my number.
“ I love your ass.”
“I love your lips.”
“I love sucking your breast.”
“I love... you”
“I love you too.”
16 months in and I want him to meet my parents. He completed me.
“So what happened?“ Lynn asked.
“I chea-" I began to say but she screamed “Wait” with her hands in the air, and smirked. “I’m sorry but we have ran out of time.” She stood up and then so did I.
“Next week, same time, Natasha, whatcha say?” Welcoming me with open arms.
“Yes of course“ I said as I finished our hug and followed her out.