Dirty Jokes Knock Knock

An old couple

This is the story of an old couple married for 25 years. Every time they make love, the man asks to do it in the dark. The wife agrees, then one evening, turns on the light and realizes that her husband uses a sextoy.

- Bastard, to think that it's been 25 years that you make me believe that it's you who make love to me!

- Listen, I can to explain you about the sextoy, but you have to explain me about the children!

A couple in the bedroom

A couple has just gone to bed. The man says to his wife:

- I really want to make love.

- No, you don't. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the gynecologist and I want to stay fresh.

Fifteen minutes later, the man says again:

- I really, really want to have sex.

- I told you no. I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow!

Then the woman turns off the light. In the darkness, her husband says to her:

- Yes, but tomorrow you don't have a dentist's appointment.

A deaf and dumb couple

A deaf-mute couple sets up a system of signs to indicate whether they want to have sex or not. The woman mimes:

- If you want to have sex, touch my left breast. If not, touch my right breast.

The man in turn mimes:

- If you want to make love, shake my willy once. If you don't want to, you shake it 100 times.

Two drunks in a bar

Two drunk guys are talking in a bar:

- Rah! I have a really lousy job!

- Well, what do you do?

- I deliver pizzas. All day long, I see them, I smell them, and I can't even eat them!

- I know what you mean! Me, it's the same!

- Are you a pizza delivery guy too?

- No, I'm a gynecologist.

Let's talk about sex

What is the difference between a man and a woman when they talk about sex?

When a man talks sex to a woman, it's harassment.

When a woman talks to a man about sex, it's $ 4.99 per minute!

The cougar woman and the fantasy

This is a 40-year-old cougar woman who brings a 25-year-old boy home. When they get home, she tells him:

- How would you like to do it with the mother and daughter?

- Oh yes, it's one of my fantasies!

- Ok! Mommy! Come on, it's okay!

A couple and a wedding ring

A couple is making love. The woman says:

- Honey, your wedding ring hurts me.

- It's not my ring, it's my watch.

An old tire and a condom

What is the difference between an old tire and a pile of 365 used condoms?

Answer: None, it was a good year.

Difference between a woman and a man

What is the difference between a woman and a man?

The man always has the same pair of balls between his legs.

A Parisian and a Southerner

Two girlfriends are talking. One is from Paris and the other one is from the South of France. The one from the South is a bit stupid and not very beautiful while the Parisian one is beautiful, well-built, and has success with the guys. The southerner with her accent says to the other one:

-I didn't tell you earlier because I wanted to know if it was serious, but I've been dating a guy for two months.

-Oh well! But who is he? What is he like? Is it going well?.

-Well, listen, yes! He is a colleague from work, I like him a lot. But I have a problem, I need you ...

-Tell me.

-Well, you know, we have a lot of fun in bed, but the other day he made it clear that he'd like some treats.

-And? What's the problem?

-Well, I've never done that! I'm afraid to do it wrong!

-Ah! Well, go with your gut feeling, it's still the best. But there's one thing that works well, during the treat you pretend to say the word "Honolulu". It works well for me.

-Honolulu? Okay, I'll do that then...

The two girlfriends separate and a few days later the girl from the South visits the Parisian:

-Oh it's you! Hi! Oh, you don't seem to be doing well?

-Noooooo, answers the southern girl while starting to cry.

-What's going on? Explain to me...

-It's over with Robertooooooooo!

-It is?! But how come?!

-It's because I was wrong...

-Mistaken? Wrong about what?

-Well for the treat, I was wrong!!!

-But how?! Explain! I don't understand a thing!

-Well I couldn't remember the word you said and I was afraid I'd sound like an idiot, so I started to pretend I was saying a word, but the first word that came to me was the name of my hometown!!!

-Oh?! So what, it doesn't matter!

-Yes, it does! I come from Carcassonne!!!!!!!

Finally, which of these Jokes makes you laugh most? Please let me know in the comments. Are you fun of adults and dirty jokes and stuff? You may read more here.