Dating Struggles of a Millennial

There are an endless number of struggles faced by Millennials in the dating world. Let's dip our toes into the metaphorical dating pool. Are you a twenty-something who has come to the realization that dating in today's society is all but impossible? Do you sit at home on weekends crafting the perfect online dating profile? Do you absolutely dread the thought of a first date with someone you have never met or only spoken to online? Don't worry, chances are you're not alone! The world we live in has Millennials perfecting responses to texts to seem just the right level of interested, having meltdowns while deciding whether to swipe right or not and hiding most (if not all!) of their emotions to make them seem "cool." And this is just to arrive at the first date. The dating struggles of Millennials require a special type of mindset to overcome.

Where Do We Even Meet Them?

First things first, where is the best place to meet people? Do you go to a bar and attempt to shout at someone loudly enough for them to hear you over the dance music, or do you like someones posts and photos on Facebook enough that it's socially acceptable to start a conversation. If you choose the later, try to choose an opening that isn't too obviously taken from a Google search of "best opening lines for a girl I like." Even starting a conversation with a match on Tinder needs to be carefully considered. You don't want to come off too serious, but you don't want to come off too casual. Either could scare away your potential date, each for its own reason. When did being yourself become so difficult?

Social Media Sabotage

Now let's say you've met someone, you think they're great and everything is going swimmingly. Well, at least you thought it was until you noticed a suspicious tweet from your date that may or may not be aimed a you. Now you start panicking, scrolling through messages looking for something you said that could have been taken the wrong way. You will do everything in your power to find out if that tweet was about you, except (you guessed it) asking the sender! As a generation we are afraid to express our emotions, we live in a world where expressing emotions and opening up too far to even your nearest and dearest is deemed to be "un-cool." While many of us disagree with this societal standard, we blindly obey it lest we scare off the target of our affections and end up home alone on Saturday night. A word of advice: you're probably overthinking this tweet. If it is about you, chances are you'll hear about it when you see them face to face. If it isn't, then you need to calm down.

While we are on the subject of social media, don't forget that your social media profiles are there for the world to judge you over. You don't need to be a comedic genius on Twitter, but make sure your profiles express your interests with some degree of accuracy. The last thing any of us is to be brought together by a mutual interest that isn't actually mutual.

Ghosting

Do you know what ghosting means? If you don't you're probably one of the lucky few who haven't experienced it yet!

“Ghosting—The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.” —Urban Dictionary, 2013

Admittedly, I like to think that the vast majority of people are decent enough to tell someone if they want to break things off and that ghosting is only for low life wimps. However, the fear of being ghosted is a reason a lot of us chose not to date someone or keep people at arms length for a while after we start seeing them. Just remember, if someone does ghost you, don't pursue them. If they didn't respect you enough to break up with you themselves, then chances are they aren't worth dating.

To DTR or Not to DTR... That is the Question!

So you've met someone, they haven't passive aggressively called you out on Twitter, they haven't ghosted you and you're getting along great! You hang out a lot and you have loads of sex. It's amazing. But because sex is considered much more casual than it was back in the day, you're wondering what the f*** is actually going on… Are you just having sex? Obviously you're not just having sex but where does the line between friends with benefits and something serious start and end? Are you dating? Should you introduce them to family? Are you together? Are you Facebook official? There are so many different stages of dating that we will always find ourselves struggling to explain exactly what we are to one another. There is such indecisiveness in our generation which, if anything, is only delaying the inevitable.

Dating is one big game but if we can all make it easier for ourselves we can focus on other important things in our life like our hobbies and careers. Let's stop making life difficult by leaving equivocal social media messages or by holding in all of our emotions. If you see someone you like the look of at a bar, don't be afraid to talk to them. If you want to introduce someone to your family as your partner, don't be afraid to ask them. Dating can be very simple if we all acknowledge how hard we have made it for ourselves! We’re all human and we’re all trying to work with one another in this overly complicated, messed up, arduous process called dating.