6 things no one tells you about being a stripper

I have a strong belief that we all sell ourselves in some way, others just seem to be more socially acceptable. I spent three years as a professional stripper, and sex work has never left me. Why has it never left me? Because it was the most important thing to happen to me and my understanding of human connection. With social media making sex work more main stream, with every one opening up “only fans” and “Patreon” accounts, I thought id share some of my experiences as a sex worker, and it might not be what you think.

1. Say it with me, SEX WORK IS WORK

People visit sex workers to feel connected. That's it. And at the end of the day that's all this line of work really is, addressing the very baser parts of human connection and identity. Two of my regular clients as a stripper would pay me for the whole night to talk. Just to talk, and maybe cry a little bit. Sex workers are basically an open channel for a part of yourself that doesn't usually get to come out. So, sitting there naked with a glass of champagne listening to Greg tell be that he's a shitty person for crushing on his receptionist isn't what we see in the movies, but its as real as it gets when it comes to clubs. Its as mentally taxing as it is physical if not more so. The moment you sit down with a paying client you're agreeing to see them in their most primal light.

2. It is one of the most physically demanding jobs there is

I cant tell you how many times I returned home from work and felt every single muscle in my body threaten to go into spasm. There's a certain amount of physical strength required in some areas of sex work, particularly dancing. As dancers we would be required to do up to nine full pole shows a night (in 8 inch platforms, naked, having drunk five tequilas) and its hard on the body. Swollen feet, bad backs, carpet burns, and accidents are all par for the course. I honestly feel that when you enter a dance environment that a physical safety pamphlet should be given out at the door to inform everyone of just how exhausted you're going to be, and the upkeep it'll take to get you through your dancing career. Especially how not to indulge in particular recreational substances and too much alcohol. As a dance mentor once told me “get in, get your money, and get out”.

3. Your dancers are your family.

Picture this, when you walk into your first night as a stripper, with nowhere near as much make-up as you need on for the dim lighting, and knowing no one, it will probably feel like the rest of the dancers are going to eat you alive, and do you know what? Some will. It takes time but the friends I made during my time as a dancer will stay with me for life. There's something about seeing each other naked on a daily basis, talking about the wackjob customers you have had during an evening, and scooping each other up off the floor when you've made nothing that night that bonds people together forever.

4. Its like anywhere else on earth. Except everyone is naked and everything is turned up to 100

I met the best and the very very worst of people in strip clubs. There would be nights when the room is filled with drunken assholes criticising every part of your body, refusing to tip and grab assing their way through the club until they get thrown out, and there would be nights when one lovely person would make your evening, shower you with money and champagne and be the perfect company. The strip club is like the house of ID, and I don't know about you but when a bunch of men are surrounded by naked women and alcohol, you're going to see who they really are. You’ll get asked questions that you never thought anyone would even think to ask, and you’ll get insane requests. I was once asked to burp for half an hour because it was some guys thing, nothing is too crazy to hear, but you'll always have people eager to hear the story

5. You’ll think about EVERY part of your body

Being a stripper requires a LOT of maintenance. Every strand of hair has to be perfect (it will be commented on) your make-up has to be on point every night and up to date, and yes, you even have to dance when you're on your period. There are certain tricks to this last point but being asked “if you can see my string” while someone's on the pole is most definitely a thing. I’m no stranger to tanning a new dancers ass for them when they haven't got the hang of it yet, nor am I a stranger to ensuring that a girls breast implant scars aren't visible to make her feel confident enough to go on stage. It takes masses of self love to maintain who you are in a club full of girls all trying to stand out, and sometimes the management has a hand in your personal style choices. Everything becomes a trademark, and there are trends in clubs just like anywhere else.

6. It’ll make you think about your own sexuality

Stripping is liberating, but I found there is sort of a force faked sexual identity that you form when you become a dancer. For me this was particularly poignant. I went in to sex work a straight, exotic dancer, dabbled in burlesque and I had a very abusive fiancée. When I left strip clubs I had gained enough confidence to leave that man, start a business and come out of the closet as a lesbian, which I highly doubt I would've have ever done if I hadn't have grown quite so much up that little flight of red stairs. Yes its a way to find out who you are, you get to explore what your body can do, your own boundaries, and have endless conversations about sex and self, but beware that you will likely come out a different person altogether. It really is the dancers choice how that story turns out, as mentioned, you’ll most likely have a whole hoard of bad ass women that’ll help you through that every step of the way, and celebrate the woman you become.