Some people are naturals when it comes to talking about sex and have zero issues asking for the things they want. It’s a lot more complicated than that for a lot of folks, though. Not everyone entirely knows what they want to try, and those that do might feel ashamed or bashful about their desires for whatever reason.
Yes, it’s to everyone’s benefit to become more comfortable talking openly about sex. But there’s something to be said for being the one to help a lover push their boundaries a little, as well. The following are some common things many people would love to try in the bedroom but aren’t quite sure how to ask for. Try bringing one or more of them up as suggestions sometime and seeing what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised.
1. A Little Dirty Talk
Dirty talk isn’t something everyone wants across the board, but most people would love to experiment with it. However, many people feel awkward simply going for it, and they aren’t sure how to ask for it from a partner who may not be into it.
Dirty talk is best approached slowly, so you don’t have to be downright raunchy right off the bat unless that’s really how you want it. Start by describing what you’d like your partner to do to you and asking for it specifically. Tell them how good it feels when they oblige. They’ll likely reciprocate and play along.
2. To Watch You Pleasure Yourself
Logically, everyone’s aware that most other people masturbate. They likely assume their partner does, as well, and they’d probably love to watch it happen sometime. They wonder exactly how they go about pleasuring their body, but they also know it’s something very private. They worry that their partner won’t be comfortable if asked to put on a show.
That said, you probably won’t hear many complaints if you flirtatiously decide to give yourself a hand while you’re in bed together sometime. Start by simply putting on a show for them, allowing them to watch you get lost in what you’re feeling. Continue by asking them to help you out and get involved.
3. An Oral Wakeup Call
If your partner is a sucker for great head, then the chances are pretty good that they’ve also fantasized about waking up to some quality oral in progress. However, they may or may not know how to ask you to indulge them.
Give it a try some morning or in the middle of the night if you find yourself awake and in the mood for some action. You’ll know you’re hitting all the right notes when they drift awake with a smile on their face that they can’t get rid of for the rest of the day. If you’re unsure whether this is something they’d like, you can always ask how they’d feel about it.
4. Risky Sex Somewhere Naughty
Naturally, you don’t want to wind up arrested for being indecent in public, so act on this suggestion with great discretion. But a large number of people fantasize about getting down and dirty in public or someplace else a little risqué. There’s a good chance your partner is one of them, so it might be worth exploring the idea.
Of course, it’s more than possible to get your naughty kicks without taking a massive risk. Having sex in the back yard or the patio after dark when you’re highly unlikely to be seen gives you a thrill with less actual risk. The same goes for having sex in your childhood bedroom when visiting your family, getting frisky in the car, and so forth.
5. To Try Adult Toys
Whether that means trying a little light bondage on for size via a pair of handcuffs or experimenting with a vibrator together, many people love the idea of expanding their sexual horizon with adult toys and accessories but are afraid to bring up the subject with a partner. They’re worried their loved one might feel like they’re somehow not enough on their own or that they’ll think there’s something abnormal about them.
People are more comfortable with adult toys than ever, so toy play is a common thing to want to try. Toys can also bring a lot of enjoyment to the table, so they’re well worth exploring together. Ask your partner how they might feel about using your vibrator together or otherwise experimenting with toys. If they’re game, you can even shop for something special together that you’re equally excited about using.
Of course, these are just a few of the many fantasies your partner might secretly be dreaming about but afraid to ask for. When in doubt, you can always bring suggestions like these up to discuss and see how your partner reacts. You both might wind up glad you did.