There's No Rest for the Tired

Staggering down the stairs, one foot in front of the other. My eyes drifted back to sleep. Everything is telling me to close my eyes and rest but I know better or at least I pretend to. It's the same routine every day. One article of clothing at a time, piece by piece, forcing my senses awake with the chill of the living room then lulling them back to sleep with the warmth of my clothes. Securing my place on the couch for another ten minutes before I had to absolutely leave.

These ten minutes of pure silence as your ears fail to tune into your surroundings. Your eyes have hammered themselves shut knowing their absence makes for the best naps. The feeling from your hands and feet has slowly dulled into an invisible sensation. It tingles the skin to the point of feeling weightless. Floating on nothing, yet never leaving the couch. When such a freeing feeling fills your head you jolt up. Just as fast as they arrived, the feelings of weightlessness were gone. Vanishing leaving only a churning swirl in the pit of your stomach.

Sleep is such a virtue that we regularly take for granted. No matter how long or short your sleep, you will have paused time. The time and space that surrounds you can only be around you. So when you sleep, it all stops. In the day and age of the now, we forget about the present. The act of being aware of what's happening. If the world never slept then we’d implode on ourselves as a planet. There are no right or wrong answers to our dilemma but we will forever strive for them.

Humans have actively found a loophole to our own exhaustion. The liquid energy that has encapsulated the world one sip at a time. The manipulation of chemical compounds and reactions. The drug that has been hiding in plain sight. The sweet caffeine that comes at such a low price. Where would any of us be without it?

Drinking the sweet thick syrup from your lips, it calls to you. Longing for the rush of life that you oh so wish for. If you could just get that last bolt of energy before you fell asleep again.

Here I am though, forcing myself to wake up at what feels like an ungodly hour to work myself ragged in the early hours of the morning. Closing my eyes whenever possible. I won't be fully alive and awake until later this afternoon, since my body will be constantly be playing catch up. Counting the hours that go by. It's terribly exhausting from the tiniest thought of resting that much more. If only I could give in to such a frustrating task.

Is it worth it? Is the exhaustion worth it? When you can’t keep your eyes open, and your body starts to drift away. Is it worth it? My muscles ache, my bones creak, is it worth it? The kind of tiredness that numbs your lips, and stings your toes. You slide into this false security in your mind that holds you close in its clutches. Taking its cold decrepit finger and stroking your face while you willingly fall for its divisive trap.

“Come back…” It calls to you. Yearning for your warmth. You give in yet again to its enticing words and its comforting presence.

Plucking the few traces of rest from your eyes and replacing them with the draining exhaustion that fills your bones. When all else fails, it trips you off of your own feet forever to curse its name forevermore.