The Triptych: Aggression

The three have joined together, they have become… one. They have become… me.

I kept hitting, I couldn’t stop. Finally able to vent all the anger and frustration out on the person most responsible. The damage was already substantial and every further hit of my clenched fist inflicted more and more damage, the sound echoed through the darkness, as I continued smashing my fists into the solid brick wall over and over, and over.

This is what happens when Anger takes hold and joins with the others, it all becomes outwardly forced, but of course I am never as angry with anyone else in this world as I am with myself. Anger takes hold and controls the other two, driving the metamorphosis, driving me into Aggression…

I throw one last punch into the wall, the soft squelch of bloodied fist splats against it. The red lines trickle down the wall, and soon drip in splatters over the pavement beneath. I attempt to catch my breath and calm down, but it has taken too strong a hold, I spin and kick a nearby trash can as hard as I can, leaving a large dent in its side.

Pain will be here soon, he is always near, always waiting. Once the initial outburst of the three combined together has been unleashed, he is always following close. Not just the pain that will soon throb and ebb through my hands and my head when the adrenaline wears off. But also the inner pain and torment of the situation and my fall back into this chaotic emotion.

I started to walk back to the car, where everything kicked off.

Why did I let the argument get this far out of hand, all I had to do was keep my mouth shut about their bad driving. But of course Aggression wanted to come out to play, so it created the perfect blend of reactions and feelings to bubble up until everything came out. Every little issue and problem we had, starting as a heated conversation on the motorway, turning into a fierce argument as we came into the car park, finally evolving into a screaming match, standing outside the parked car for all to witness.

Only now on my way back did Fear decide to have its fun, earlier I didn’t notice the street lights were out. But now, alone, on a long walk back to a car where fear of loss combined with the others to force me to go to the wall. Everything was in that car, everything I care about and love, but together the three worked together to drive me to almost lose it all…

Anger… Pain… Fear…

…Aggression.

He has the power over all the rest, controls them like puppets on strings to do his bidding. He seizes little moments within the three, then bides his time, waiting for the best moment to strike. I don’t understand why I can’t be rid of him. I look down at my bloodied hand as I near the car.

Anger grips me tight once more, anger at myself for my actions… and my words.

Pain… There he is. Like an old friend reappearing at the most inconvenient time, the pain now screams through my hands, and I drop to the ground a few metres from the car.

Now comes Fear once more, as I huddle over in the dark car park, the feeling of shadow and dark begins to overwhelm me, I am alone… I am unwanted… I deserve all this…

“Help.” I cry towards the car in one last effort to escape…

It is too late, these three and their all controlling Master have taken me now… there seems no hope of escape now. Aggression and his puppets have the power, nothing can stop them. It is all going so dark…

I hear the car door open, and footsteps coming towards me.

I see the smallest glimpse of light approaching, it flickers like a candle in the dark…