The Ticket

I am what I am. I've long since given up on trying to change that.

I look out the window at the tree silhouetted against the setting sun. I thought about that for a while. The sun sets at the close of the day. It's an end. Total darkness engulfs the land and the sky. God closes his eyes to rest. My sun is about to set. But unlike God my eyes won't open. The light will never come again.

I reached into my shirt pocket and pulled out a Lucky Strike. I looked at the cigarette and ran my thumb across the blonde filter.

"What the fuck..", I said to myself as I tore the filter off and placed the cigarette in my mouth. I pulled my lighter out of my pocket and with the flick of a thumb I lit the cigarette.

I inhaled deeply and I stared at the ugly green leather seat in front of me. I looked down at my stomach and watched as my white shirt turn a deeper red as the blood flowed. I leaned my head back and took another deep drag on my cigarette and closed my eyes.

Two days ago I was sitting in a bar in Plano. "Unc" Davis was sitting next to me drinking a Miller Lite. I'm classy, so I sipped on a Lonestar.

Unc was broad shouldered. At six-foot-three he towered over my five-foot-nine frame. He looked old. Too old to be thirty-nine and ten years my senior. His hair was grey and his face was like leather. I guess years of war will do that to a man.

Unc was my platoon leader in Vietnam. He wasn't old enough to be any of our dads, but seemed a life time older than all of us. That earned him the nickname "Unc".

"The only thing you boys love more than the Lonestar State is Lonestar beer", he said and chuckled.

I looked up from my beer and met his gaze.

"Almost as much as you guys from Oklahoma love getting dicked in the ass"

I could tell he liked his joke much more than he liked mine. And I got enjoyment from that.

I lit a cigarette and watched as he took a pen from his pocket and scribbled a number on the back of a napkin.

A32.

"Two days from now a man will be taking the Texas Eagle from Plano to Phoenix. He's Rico's kid brother. Rico is trusting you to make sure he makes it there okay. This is your shot kid. Make you look good for the boss. Maybe get a little more pay. Who knows. But this is your doorway out of the basement".

Like most kids I dreamed of playing baseball for the Rangers. Being a goon for the Cartel wasn't on my list of dreams. But everyone has to take advantage of their skillset. And Unc got me the gig, so I'll shut up and be thankful.

I put my cigarette out. I watched as the smoke faded away as I took another sip of beer.

"He in any danger? Anything that might surprise me?" I asked.

"No. Nothing like that. Should be an easy job. He's just, how do you say, prone to trouble. That's a long train ride for him to behave. If he runs his mouth to someone and they seem like they'd lay a hand on him take care of it. But unless he needs you he doesn't even need to know you're there".

"A fucking babysitter", I grumbled. "This better be my ticket to move up"

Unc smiled and patted my back. He stood up. "Enjoy your trip", he laughed and walked away.

Just like Unc. He gets to walk away and leave me to this shit job. And I get to pick up the tab for his Miller Lites.

Two days late I arrived to the train station. God damn is it hot. The Texas heat is enough to make the Devil vacation to Antarctica.

I stood in line to get my ticket. I lit a cigarette and watched the people shuffling in and out of the train station. I looked over and saw a young woman- maybe twenty- sitting with her legs crossed. My eyes followed her legs up to the bottom of her sun dress. God the Texas heat is miserable. But if it makes women dress like that then I'll take miserable every day of the fucking week.

When I got to the counter I was greeted by a small meek man.

"Destination?" he asked

"Phoenix", I said, my eyes still on the young woman.

"Got plans in Phoenix?" the man asked.

"Not your fucking business"

The mans face turned red with embarassment.

"I'm sorry mister. I didn't mean nothin' by it."

"Then why'd you say it?" I asked

"Pardon?"

"Why would you say something you didn't mean? Do you say things you don't mean a lot?"

He looked down.

"I'm up here boy!" I said and smacked my hand on the counter.

I could smell him piss his pants.

"Have a good trip", he said and handed me my ticket.

It's going to be a long trip. This is the last bit of amusement I'm going to get for a few days, I assume. Unless I'm lucky enough to be seated next to the girl in the sun dress.

I was not lucky.

I walked down the aisle and came to my seat. At least I had the window. An old man was sitting in the outside seat asleep.

"Excuse me, sir"

Nothing.

I stepped over him and sat down. I lit another cigarette and watched for someone to take seat A32.

I watched as Rico's brother walked down the aisle and took his seat. He looked smug. Entitled. His brother build an empire with a black tar foundation and this prick gets to share in the spoils. I hate him already.

The train took off and sped down the line. I watched out the window for a while and listened to the old man next to me snore.

I noticed the girl in the sundress walking towards the bar car. I looked over at Rico's brother. He was asleep. What the hell. He'll still be there in an hour.

I stepped over the sleeping old man. If it weren't for his snores I would have thought he was dead.

I made my way down the aisle to the bar car. I sat down next to the woman in the sun dress and ordered a beer.

I looked over at her. She turned towards me and I smiled at her. She smiled back.

Still got it.

"What's your name miss?" I asked.

"Kaity" she said and smiled.

"My God. I didn't know angels were named Kaity".

She laughed. But I could tell she didn't think it was funny. That's okay. She's about a drink and a half ahead of me. I'm told I get funnier the more you drink.

We sat and talked. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people walking up and down the aisle to the bathrooms. Maybe with a few more glasses of wine I could show Kaity what I can do in a cramped bathroom.

She looked down at my arm and noticed my tattoo.

"You were in the war?" she asked.

I nodded.

"My daddy says what you boys had to go through weren't right. And what you went through when you got back was even worse."

"No miss. It was the most fun you could have. Well, with your pants on"

She seemed interested. Should I tell her about the first time I saw someone at the business end of my rifle get the life pulled out of him? Or what your friends head getting split in half by a bullet that could have been meant for you looks like?

"Well you just have one more drink and I'll tell you all about it sweetheart. You just drink up. I'm gonna excuse myself and when I get back you better be ready to hear all about what a hero I am."

I got up and walked to the bathroom. It was occupied so I lit a cigarette and waited.

A minute later the door opened and Rico's brother walked out. I nodded and walked into the small bathroom. As I stared down at the toilet and unloaded some beer I noticed a polaroid laying on the ground. I flushed the toilet and bent down to pick it up.

The polaroid was of a boy. Maybe eight. He was naked and sitting next to him was Rico's brother. The boy looked malnourished. A look of sadness was on his face and a big ole Texas grin was on Rico's brothers face.

I put the picture in my pocket and walked out of the bathroom. I looked into the bar car and saw Kaity sitting there. Waiting. For me.

God dammit.

I walked the other way through the passenger car. I looked down at all the people sleeping. How lucky. They get to sleep without the image of tortured boys running through their head.

I sat down in the empty seat next to Rico's brother.

"I think you have the wrong seat", he said to me.

"No. No I don't think so. I think this is exactly where I'm supposed to be".

He stared at me. I looked into his eyes and didn't say a word.

"Do you know who my brother is?" he asked. Though it seemed more like a statement.

"Does it look like I give a frogs fat ass who your brother is?"

He opened his mouth and I put a firm hand on his throat before he could get another sound out. I squeezed hard and looked into his eyes.

I pulled the polaroid out of my pocket and waved it in front of his eyes. His eyes went dead. Although I didn't know if it was because of the picture or because I was squeezing the life out of him.

His legs squirmed and I tightened my grip. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small knife. He stuck it into my stomach. I squeezed tighter than I thought I could and in a moment his legs stopped and I let go. I pulled the knife out of my stomach and placed it in his lap.

I walked back to my seat and stepped over the sleeping old man. I sat down and looked over at him. If he doesn't stop snoring maybe I'll have to kill him too.

I turned and looked out the window. I pulled a cigarette out, tore the filter off and lit it. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I felt the smoke exit my lungs as the pain crept from my stomach up my chest.

I thought to myself, "Maybe I have enough time to finish up with Kaity?"