The old captain and his lover

The old captain from the day I went ashore, although someone occasionally mentioned him in my ears, but I never saw him again, it has been forty years. Whenever my mind drifts through the floating clouds of that life on the water, the shadow of the old captain will flash before my eyes, and I will think of this old captain!

Where is the old captain? Where is the old captain? Where is his flat boat drifting? Maybe he is alive, maybe ...... because he is already in his 80s and 90s by the count of his fingers. I can't know the last course of his life, can't know the last harbor of his life, but he soared on the beach in the clear waves of the kind of calm, the deck of that cheerful laughter, and his bitter hard to swallow love every time haunted my heart!

The old captain surnamed Yang, short dunnage of people, less slender Ba in the wind and rain will be his two arms stretched extra wide, the sun over the deck will be painted his face more yellow than bronze. Perennial wearing a pair of lapel cloth buttoned green smock, or white light cloth shirt. The young people call him Master, the peers call him Lao Yang.

The first time I met him was on a ship, on the ship where I was going to work and live. He was the captain of that ship.

The boat was moored at the side of the county dock, and a narrow and long wooden diving board was set up from the shore to the boat, swaying and shaking. I carried a suitcase and a comforter on my back. When he saw that the team brought me to report, his bronze face was beaming with smiles. He dropped the work at hand, ran down the shore from the bow, took my box and said to me, "Yes, boy, welcome! We have helpers again!"

The old captain took the box in his hand and instructed me to go ahead. When I got to the middle of the diving board, the board shook so much that I didn't dare to go forward. Seeing this, he held my quilt in one hand and asked me to hand it to him. He flung the quilt behind himself, then held the box with one hand while the other hand steadied me behind my back, saying, "Go, I'll steady you, you won't fall down, just get used to walking."

That's how we met, and that's how I began a life on the water that lasted nearly three years.

The harbor at night, very quiet, in addition to the faint waves hitting the hull of the boat sound, only occasionally heard the sound of water in the heart of the river cormorant boat paddling. He lay on the bow of the boat and greeted me: "Little Li Zi, come to the bow to cool off, there is wind here."

The boat, not yet loaded, the deck was neatly laid flat. He said, "This deck is like a bowl for eating, it has to be wiped twice a day, very clean. Go to sleep!" He patted the deck and gestured for me to lie down next to him with my feet on the gangway, as he had done.

The moon was very round and full, quietly weaving through the clouds. The night breeze blew gently, blowing away the kind of despondency, the kind of anxiety I first came aboard. This is the first night of my life on the water, and the beginning of my boundless life on the water!

On the other side of the water, there are countless swaying lights, sometimes bright and sometimes dark; near the boat with a woman's voice, sometimes loud and sometimes small. I watched and listened.

The old captain crossed his fingers under the back of his head and asked me, "Do you miss home?"

I timidly did not say anything. Because I was thinking: Are there any women on board for the night?

He tapped me to wake me up from my musings. I turned around and asked the old captain, "Where is your home?"

The old captain sighed softly at the moon and then said to me, "Li, how did you come to my path? The people on the ship are home! Home, became my eternal dream, I always think of that home. I turned forty this year, or I am a person full of food, the whole family is not oh ah!"

I was full of surprise! Fortunately, the hazy night drowned this surprise of mine without a trace. I tried to be as calm as possible and let the wind caress my heaving heart.

The old captain said that his heart was a little sour, he simply sat up, crossed his legs, looked at the swaying lights on the boat across the river, told me about the rapid Yuanshui River, told me about the bamboo gabions woven into the fibrous bus, told me the story of the women in the Wu Peng boat.

He said that the days on the boat were bitter and monotonous, just like the song that the world had rumored, "People in the coal mine are buried but not dead, while people on the boat are dead but not buried." Although this sentence is a bit too much, but in those years when the water traffic environment was extremely harsh, it can't help but say that it is a true picture of the survival of the crew. The meaning of life on board is far-reaching, the slender man dragged away the laughter of the city people, leaving behind a personal despondency; shipwrights bring the interests of a nation, but the death of their youth.

The old captain was the year his father died, his mother handed him over to a boat owner next door, followed him to run the jungle, only to eat, not pay. He was thirteen years old. The boss of the boat next door was named Zhao, and he was called Uncle Zhao. Following Uncle Zhao on the first day of the boat, Uncle Zhao gave him a slender bus, this slender bus he carried for five years, stepping through the dangerous shoals on both sides of the Yuan River, witnessed the ups and downs of the Yuan River. Uncle Zhao said he grew up on the slender rope, is the river wind blowing big. After eighteen years old, Uncle Zhao handed him a boat pole, and asked him to be the head of the work. He was in the turbulent and gentle river, the alternation of water up and down, drenched in the sun, frozen in the heat, will be a boat man silent. After another five years, he jumped from the bow to the stern of the boat, from the head to the helm. He matured and learned all the technical work on the boat. He was the youngest boatman in the entire Yuan River basin.

He talked so energetically that I was very impressed with him. I felt solid and secure that I could be assigned to work with such an old captain.

But his heart is still very complex and sad, his bones have generated a kind of world despise boatman stereotype, he often said that work on the boat is despised by others, especially by women. Women don't like boats, and they don't like the people on them. Because he had been floating on the water for almost thirty years, he had never tasted the taste of being loved by a woman. He wanted to love women very much and to be loved by women. Many times love, just because they are a boat people, love, with the water flowing under the boat ......

That night, we talked for a long time. He said he liked me and liked me to listen to his stories of the past. This is the first time that I have opened my heart and released myself.

Our boat is very small, only a small twenty tons, but the appearance is no longer the kind of crow's nest and fish tail like stern. The boat's canopy has been replaced by a high steering building, the tiller has been replaced by a steering wheel, and the sails and long sculls, as well as the long slender ropes, have long been set aside and hung high. But the people are still the same, the heart is still the same, and the night is still pillowed on the waves.

My first boat trip was to a small town far from the county to transport coal, and when we came back we stayed overnight in Sharkwan. Sharkwan happens to be my hometown, and I loved it when he docked at Sharkwan. He said there was a niece here who was a teacher in an elementary school and was beautiful. He said his niece's biggest worry was that he didn't have an aunt yet. I believe it. Once, twice ...... as long as it is against the water, we will sleep here at night, and I have thanked him in my heart countless times.

About six months or so later, I finally found a déjà vu in the team's office, a middle-aged woman who was a mother and was holding a swaddled baby in her arms. Opposite the woman sat an old judge, in a green uniform and with a judge's cap, while holding a notebook in her hand. Our old captain also sat apprehensively to one side. He saw my presence, and after a glimpse of shyness swept across his face, he cast a faint smile at me.

I left the office real, I was afraid that the familiar woman searched for me in the memory, but I still searched for her in the memory.

Oh! She, yes, he was a woman from my village, the mother of one of my classmates. His lover was dead. She, why was she still holding a baby in swaddling clothes? Could she be the niece of the old captain! Could it be that ...... speculation swam around in my head all day.

The old captain returned to the ship, the stars were blinking. When he saw me, whether I liked it or not, he poured out all of his a pot of gommage.

Yes, the woman I saw in the morning was the mother of my classmate, whose lover had passed away a few years ago. These months, the reason we often sleep overnight in Sharkwan, is the old captain's niece introduced him to an object. This object is my classmate's mother. Although my classmate's mother has exceeded the age of confusion, even the children are nearly twenty, but the old captain of the choice of women, no longer have the kind of luxury of young people. He can no longer wait, even if it is Xu old half-mother, he will also rub love with her.

The old captain told me: "He was on his second voyage night stay in Shark Wan when they fell in love. He was very satisfied, the first taste of a woman's love, despite the fact that she was a country widow, he decided to love her as his own woman in this life. Because he has been drifting in the jungle for thirty years, looking for a woman for more than twenty years, only this widow's love true and honest, so that I found the feeling of love, but also let me find a home. Unfortunately, it's a pity that this love of mine is like the ship next door to us, which has set sail today and drifted away."

I did not understand the old captain's words, but the old captain's eyes were moist when he said this, and some choked up. He pulled me from the lighted cockpit to the pilot house against the opposite shore, the two of them nestled against the railing, gazing at the distant night sky. In the slight rocking of the boat, the old captain told me about his dying love.

It turns out that the widow from my hometown had given birth to a daughter for the old captain. In the era when family planning was extraordinarily strict, men and women who gave birth to a boy and a girl without a marriage license were subject to dismissal from the unit. The matter somehow reached the ears of the old judge of the county court. He was inspired to get a bad idea, and found the leadership of our fleet. The leader of the fleet would have had a friendship with the old judge, the two of them together, the director of a "love spicy play.

The old judge to the old captain and the widow said sternly: "Today, the authorities want me to deal with the two of you, without a marriage certificate on the birth of a child, which is a violation of the Marriage Act, a violation of family planning policy, a very serious mistake. According to the policy, those who have a job will be dismissed from public service, and those who do not have a job will be fined."

When the old captain heard that he was going to be dismissed, his face instantly turned blue and he didn't know what to say for a while; when the widow heard that she was going to be fined, it was like her life was at stake and tears flowed down her face.

After said, the old judge and hurriedly pointed to the old captain and the widow said: "Lao Yang you also do not fear, and you (referring to the widow) also do not cry, we are all hometown, I said only the strict provisions of the policy, I will not use the policy of the boat Penny you Penny to death, we will consider the actual situation of the two of you, discretionary treatment."

The old judge finally made three decisions: first, the old captain can not continue to deal with the widow; second, the old captain and the widow must give the girl away; third, the old captain to the widow compensation of three hundred dollars in damages.

These three decisions, although not affecting the career prospects of the old captain, and the widow's economic interests, but the seemingly unimportant decision, in fact, than to kill also had more than. The old captain had no choice, a rural widow more no way, they only look sad each other stare, in the heart of each other comforted! Because the old captain to preserve the rice bowl floating on the water for decades, the widow can not come up with a pile of fines like life, and finally only yielded to sign.

After the old captain and the widow signed, the old captain in the presence of the old judge, the three hundred dollars to the widow, and then it was time to break up the lovebirds and the separation of flesh and blood.

The widow took her nipple out of the swaddled baby's mouth for the last time, reluctantly placed her flesh in the hands of the old judge, kissed her on the cheek, and disappeared under the old captain's eyes with tears streaming down her face, choking on her sobs and turning back one step at a time. The old captain stood for a long time in front of the main gate of the fleet, gazing at the end of the widow disappeared, because she is forever difficult to disappear from the heart of the old captain ......

The widow was finally gone. Just less than half an hour after the widow left, the baby was smilingly led away by the owner of a noodle shop on the street. I heard later that the owner's wife had sent the baby to Twin Peaks to be raised.

With the old captain's beloved woman gone and his daughter given away, he returned to his loveless, quiet days. Once at night, he again called me to lie with him on the deck, watching the moon pass through the clouds and the stars blink in the Milky Way. He tossed and turned and asked me.

"Women, is it so hard to love? Where is my love?"

I could not interpret the incomplete love for the old captain, because the meaning of love is far more than our lives, more than our own degree of knowledge, not to mention, my life is still very new to love.

After a month, just a month, the old captain returned to port from the field, just off the ship was called by the captain to the fleet. The captain said with a happy face: "The old judge is here again. Last time the old judge ousted you a woman, today the old judge will return you a woman."

This is really hard to believe, but in fact it is true again. The old captain was hit by a piece of pie in the sky, the old judge did come to him to make a match.

It is very strange, this woman and the widow hometown, but the widow in the east of the river, she is in the west of the river. The woman surnamed Xu, age is also almost thirty, but always younger than the old captain to a dozen years, grew up by the river, with the taste of water, soft, or a yellow girl. The old captain thought it was fate, is their love to, and wanted to meet this love.

The next day, the old judge accompanied the old captain to see the woman named Xu. This time, the old captain is not as happy to see the widow as comfortable, full of passion, but like a young man engaged in the first love, look formal and timid, words do not know where to say.

The old captain is a few dozen years old, and manly, no words, others shy women are more restrained, even laughing are hiding from people. The old judge said love to start from the heart, a woman's shyness is a woman's true, women love you do not easily show, so that the woman is worthy of your love. The old captain listened without making a sound, he thought the old judge experienced, know women, and believed the old judge, by the old judge to make the decision.

The next day, the old judge said, "the female male are oldest, people have seen, either get married and forget it."

The old captain still said the same thing, believe the old judge, by the old judge to make the decision. So the fleet team did not return to a trip, in the township government received a marriage certificate, a few days later gave the woman a sum of money, in the woman's house in a frenzy of the wedding reception, the home in the woman's house.

The old captain finally has a home, his home is on the opposite bank of the widow's house. Decades of running, decades of love, finally have a home, there is a port of love, the journey to find love finally has an end.

From then on, he liked this route even more, because his old love and new love are on the bank of this river. Whenever his ship returned from loading, he would stop here for the night. He loved this home, very much like the old judge introduced this woman, after all, the old captain's age is a cut above her, this love is not easy to come by!

One day, six months later, our boat was still moored at the old captain's house shore for the night. The evening breeze, the moon reflected in the water is still so round so bright so distant, near the village from time to time came a few barking dogs, so that we in the ship's staff left behind is difficult to sleep.

At midnight, the boat's gang suddenly had a sound, we gently opened the window to see the old captain's figure. We then gently asked, "Old captain, how did you come to the ship?"

The old captain did not squeal, he used a mop to wipe his feet clean, entered the narrow room, and then sighed before he said to us, "I should have told you earlier, but I couldn't. I fell for the old judge's trick about my marriage. This woman is the niece of the old judge, her nerves are very abnormal, demented ...... which can live a life?"

We listened to him tell his woman's story, almost goose bumps, for the old captain pinched a sweat. The other few of us asked in almost unison, "What should we do?"

The old captain did not say anything, he was still drowning in the bitter waters of "love"! What should he say? He stepped out of the cab, looked across the mountains, and said, "My heart is just like the mountains across the way, and it is so blurred that I can't see myself."

Yes, what should he say? How should he choose? Already a belated love, twenty years late, who knows it is a love that should not come, a bitter love ......

"The actual fact is that you will be able to get a lot more than just a few of these. My suffering! Now it's like the water beneath my feet has no end, and I don't know where tomorrow will be?" The more the old captain said, the sadder and more disappointed he became!

......

His ship is still sailing on this route, but not like the past, every trip to return home. Now passing here just a few glances in the direction of home, the heart head swept through his once-hoped-for home, once-hoped-for love, and then immersed in a kind of memory ...... but can not always do not return, every month or go back to see, just go back to see. Because the woman is still his wife after all, he wants to send money back to the woman, to the woman's belly child with!

We asked: "Can't you not pay?"

He said, "This month, after giving only three days late, the old judge came to the door."

Everyone looked at me and I looked at you, as if something was stuck in their throats, and they couldn't say anything for a long time.

The old captain's love, like a hundred-year-old house shaking in a storm, has been in danger, we as outsiders, in addition to listening ears, I'm afraid that he can not offer him more thoughtful than his own ideas, he will be like that, like the boat he is driving, still drifting on the river, the boat, life is the same, love is even more so! He did not know when his life, his voyage, his love is the end?

When I left the fleet, the old captain's love spicy drama did not end. That day, he was on the boat about to depart to see me leave the port where I had lived for nearly three years, and I was also in the port to see the old captain off towards a new voyage! We waved our hands to each other, the distance waved further and further away, and we parted like this!