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The Lightning's Judgment

Who is Sinner.....?

By Naveed Published 29 days ago 2 min read
41
The Lightning's Judgment
Photo by NOAA on Unsplash

The vehicle was passing through a hilly area. Suddenly lightning came near the bus and went back. The bus continued to move forward and after half an hour the power came back on. He ran towards the back of the bus but went back and the bus continued to move forward. The lightning struck again this time on the right side. But it returned for the third time. The driver was sensible. He stopped the bus and spoke loudly. Brothers, there is a sinner on the bus

This lightning is looking for him. If we don't take it down, we will all be killed. There was chaos in the bus. And all the passengers looked at each other suspiciously. The driver advised that there was a tree under the mountain ahead. We all get off one by one. And stand under the tree. The one among us who is sinful will be struck by lightning. And the rest will be saved.

This proposal was feasible. All passengers agreed. The driver got off first and ran and stood under a tree. Lightning flashed across the sky but did not reach the driver. He went back to the bus. The second passenger got out and stood under the tree.

Lightning didn't pay attention to him either. The third passenger also escaped unharmed, so the passengers kept coming. They kept standing under the tree. And kept going back until only one passenger survived.

It was a dirty little traveler. The conductor took pity on him and made him board the bus. Passengers started cursing him. People said. We are sitting on the verge of death because of you. You get off the bus immediately. They were also asking him the details of these sins. Because of this, a painful death awaited him. That passenger was not ready to disembark. But people wanted to get him off the bus at any cost.

The passengers first cursed him and ordered him to get off. Then explained it lovingly. And finally, they started dragging him off. He used to grab the back of a seat. Sometimes he was clinging to a rod. And sometimes he used to slam the door. But people did not stop. They forcibly dragged him off. The driver drove the bus. As soon as the bus went a few meters ahead of the culprit. There was a roar. Lightning struck the bus and all the passengers were burnt to death in a few moments. That guilty passenger was saving the lives of passengers for two hours.

The point of this whole story is that often we are blaming someone for something. While we may be guilty of this cause.

And on the other hand, we are avoiding problems and troubles due to someone else whom we don't know about

MicrofictionMystery
41

About the Creator

Naveed

Let me submit, writing and solitude are essential. Writing is not possible in Mahfil Yaran. Why a person writes, how he writes, why he thinks, nothing can be said with certainty.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (30)

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  • Hannah Moore13 days ago

    And in our treatment of those who have sinned, we become sinners.

  • Kendall Defoe 21 days ago

    This was extremely well done! Excellent parable for our age!

  • Adam 22 days ago

    Powerful story Excellent message Well written.

  • Krishan Mubashar25 days ago

    Well written.

  • Judey Kalchik 26 days ago

    Hi Naveed, I would be interested in interviewing you for a story. Is that something you would be open to? Please let me know.

  • Aaliyah Madison26 days ago

    Very interesting! Story

  • Rahab Kimondo28 days ago

    Great!! Well done

  • D. J. Reddall28 days ago

    Nice work, Naveed!

  • Paul Levinson29 days ago

    Powerful story, with a very apt ending.

  • I had a feeling this was about to happen - it is a sad truth that so many people are ready to point their fingers at everyone else and so rarely willing to admit their own faults. Fantastic story Naveed.

  • Tushar177029 days ago

    Great ! appreciate it.

  • Sid Aaron Hirji29 days ago

    Great message-we often displace our anger at our poor judgement. Wonderful way of saying that

  • Novel Allen29 days ago

    Judge not, that ye be not judged. I guess that never read that one Naveed. Angels may disguise themselves and be among us. Be careful what you do.

  • Daphsam29 days ago

    Wonderful short story with a very powerful message.

  • L.C. Schäfer29 days ago

    Biblical vibes! Judge not, lest ye be judged 😱

  • No words to tell about your great writing

  • Babs Iverson29 days ago

    Poignantly written!!! Love it!!!💕♥️♥️

  • Colleen Walters29 days ago

    This struck home. Profound indeed. Beautiful piece….. ❤️❤️❤️

  • Andrea Corwin 29 days ago

    OMG, Naveed - what a surprise. I was scared for that passenger. And of course everyone who knows about lightening knows not to stand under a tree, so what a great way to add it in the story. This was good!! 👏👍😁

  • Love it! Thanks Naveed. 😊

  • Arjun Sahasya29 days ago

    Nice message and a thrilling story, it was all visible as the story goes on excellent writing.

  • I couldn't agree more with the point of the story. We all need to learn from this. Thank you Naveed for the gentle reminder.

  • Shirley Belk29 days ago

    Naveed, this is food for thought! Reminded me of when Jonah was thrown off the boat and swallowed by the whale. (Not exactly the same ending, but...there was a moral taught) Good work!!!

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