The Last Piece of You
A Love Note
“You think you’re going to want this still?”
Janine turned around to see her mother holding a blue polyester tie. Small furls of thread hung from the raggedy cloth. Her mouth formed an involuntary frown as her hand touched the material. It was rough, cheap, both in texture and appearance. Running her fingers along the length of the tie.
“No. No, you can Goodwill that or something.” She said as the material fell from her hand. The slow slip cascaded from each finger as though either she or the tie were savoring each final touch.
“Honey, you don’t have to be...”
“I know. Mom. I know...” she barked.
Her mom’s hand recoiling before continuing its path to touchdown on her shoulder.
Janine turned toward the walnut cabinet that her grandmother had left her as an engagement gift. The dark wood was stained with the unmistakable wear of time. Small scratches and chips lined the piece of furniture giving it a sort of rustic charm. Her hand touched a small patch just over the top drawer.
“J+C.” Her mother said as she pointed to her hand. “You two did that when you were still just dating. I remember I was so mad at you I couldn’t even speak. Carving your name into your grandfather’s cabinet?” She chuckled lightly. Janine still silent; still motionless.
“But your grandma. She has a funny way about her, that woman. She said her Janine wouldn’t do something that stupid unless this was somebody really special.” She choked back the words as she saw her vision begin to blur with tears forming at the corners of each eye. Taking a deep breath,
“Honey, I...”
“Mom.”
“Yes?”
“Please, stop.”
Kissing the back of her head as she felt the lump growing in her throat.
“Okay hun, okay. I’ll be outside with Dad if you need me? We’ll leave you alone.”
Janine stood stoic. No good thing lasts forever, she thought as she removed her hand to see the engraved heart with J+C 4EVER scratched into the antique wood. The archaic script felt as though she were staring at a ruin held in a museum. She could reach out and touch those words, but they may as well have been from a lost world because what did they mean now?
There was an eerie grayness about the place that made it almost unrecognizable. “Home.” She scoffed under her breath. The sun stained paint gave clues as to the pictures and pieces that once ordained the room but now were merely empty spaces.
She moved through the room as if she were floating, a ghost from another time. Coming to the kitchen the only thing which remained was the fridge.
“Mom!” she yelled, “Mom! Did you clear out the fridge yet?” There was no answer. Looking at her phone she realized the movers would be there in less than an hour. Opening the fridge, Janine was relieved to see it was empty. She pulled on the handle for the freezer. Just a few items left, some glass containers and a pint of ice cream. She grabbed a small cardboard box and began stacking them in a hast. Janine picked up the final container - she froze. Her eyes transfixed on something distant, her mind slipped to somewhere a million miles away. The sound of the shattering glass as it smashed upon the tile did nothing to remove her from her trance. Her gaze held fast to a single slice of chocolate cake.
Janine stared intently, holding her breath. Reaching forward slowly she grasped the plate. Carefully she slid the cake toward her pulling it out of the freezer.
“What if we did chocolate?”
“Like chocolate, chocolate? Or chocolate inside with like a buttercream frosting?
“No, I mean full out chocolate!” He exclaimed
“Bubs,” she laughed, “That would sort of clash don’t you think?”
“I mean, it’s our wedding, who cares?”
“I care.” She laughed again. She thought, what the hell, “Okay, how about we do a small chocolate cake just for us?”
Her eyes fixated on the cake as the condensation began to build upon the plate. It felt weightless. It once represented so much, but now, now it was just a slice of frozen cake. Stepping over the shattered glass, she went right over to the bag of trash situated in the corner of the kitchen and using a piece of cardboard pushed the cake off the plate into the trash. Yet, she noticed something when it fell. A piece of paper had fallen with it, presumably placed beneath the slice. A napkin perhaps, but she saw the lines indicating this was writing paper. A note? Her curiosity got the better of her and she found herself reaching into the bag of trash and retrieving the paper. The paper was folded in quarters neatly and when she flipped it over she found her name written in cursive.
Janine’s heart jumped. Her pulse quickened and she was suddenly flooded with emotions. She felt her hands go numb as she began to unfold the damp piece of paper. As she opened the page up she saw scrolled across the top in large cursive writing, “Hello my NiNi!” Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she saw the familiar writing. It was a letter, but from when? How? Questions swirled in her head, she couldn’t make sense of it. She took a deep breath, “Just read it,” she told herself aloud. She started from the top again, savoring the words:
Hello my Nini!
I’m sure this is the last place you expected to find a note. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Bubs I’m writing this because I know my time is not long for this world. I know you don’t want to hear this. Which is why I have to write this down, because I know you would never sit to listen to this. So, I’ll tell you that I will keep fighting, I will. I mean it, but the doctor’s told me and I’m guessing they tried to tell you too. I’m sorry for this. I’m sorry we can’t grow old together. I’m sorry that soon I'll have to say goodbye for the last time. But I take solace knowing that you will carry us forward - remember us, as we were. From carving our initials into your grandma’s cabinet and taking the blame for me. I think your mom would have made us break up that day if she knew it was me. I swear I didn’t know how important it was! Or helping me land my first job and even showing me how to tie my tie. I don’t know what I did before I met you? And what a beautiful gift that was, getting to live life with you. You know they say time stands still when you meet the love of your life. I could have spent an eternity in that moment. Thank you, Janine, for showing me the beauty in this world, for giving me hope in the darkest of times. The day I proposed to you was the happiest day of my life, but the day I married you, my life was complete. I know it may be hard to read, but please stay strong for me. I know how strong you are, you just have to believe it too Bubs. I know it seems like I’m gone, but I’ll be with you always. Nothing can separate us and I will love you until the end of time and beyond. I love you so much my NiNi, my Bubbas, my Janine. Until we meet again,
Always & Forever,
Your Caleb
“Always and forever” Tears pattered against the paper as the words came between heaving breaths. She cried. She cried all the tears that she was not able to cry for the last month. All those emotions, everything came rushing in at once.
She wept as she rushed across the floor digging into the trash bag, scooping the cake from the heap and placing it back onto the plate.
Janine sat, gazing at the cake in silence. It was no longer a distant memory, a piece of trash from a time now lost. No, this was the pain being mended, this was the memory of him. She wanted to remember all of it and cherish what was. Her eyes lifted, there was a quiet strength behind them.
For first time in a long time there was a glimmer of hope. She smiled as she brought the note to her chest. Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks,
“Thank you.”
The revelation that she was free from the burden, the hurt, the blame she was carrying.
“Thank you” she repeated hardly audible even for a whisper.
She squeezed harder knowing that the cracks will always be there but it'll be those memories that mend them together. The pain only reminds her that what she had was something real, something rare; and she could be content in knowing that.
It was time to begin healing, to take joy in the life they shared together. A beautiful life. Every memory, every piece of it a treasure.
About the Creator
Caleb Joseph Carrillo
There is beauty in this world, and I do my best to convey it through stories.
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