The Experiment Number 500
Taste of Defeat
"Don't be nervous," she told me, sounding well, nervous. I had other reasons to be worried that day. For her, the hardest thing about that day was taking a test that would define her future. For me, the hardest was to stop pretending.
Was I really pretending?
At first, my job was pretty easy. Follow her, be her friend, be friend with her friends, meet her family; earn her trust, study her, figure out what category she fell into, define what she was. But one job turned into a thousand once I realized she didn’t fit. Sure, I was aware of how powerful her family was, what coven she belonged to, but she was different. Odd. Outlandish. Her mannerisms stood out in any crowd. The way she talked and carried herself with prudence and wariness, mirrored those who have lived too long to know every danger in the world. She tricked. She outsmarted. She was twenty steps ahead of everyone; even those whose existence was unknown to her. She knew what to use to mock evils and saints. She wasn’t like anyone I had recruited before. Her coven has been around since the universe—and what lies beyond it—was created. It was believed her bloodline was a descendant of Nana Kuruku. It was believed. She confirmed it herself when she took me to meet her coven. I was an intruder with a mission. I was rejected by all, but they didn’t refute her or dare to doubt her choices at any given moment. I felt the dismissal and judgement in their eyes. They knew who I was, what I wanted, and what I was coming for. But they didn’t warn her. And when they tried to speak ill of my presence, how disgraceful and deplorable was my being there, it only took a look from her to shut them up. They discreetly praised her. They put her on a pedestal. It was almost as if she was a goddess herself. The very embodiment of divinity. Though it always seemed as if she was too engrossed in her little unique universe to notice how others worshipped her.
Except for me.
I had one job. One job. And I fucked up big time. I wasn’t supposed to compliment her. Protect her. Care for her. Make her laugh. Or have her look at me in a way where my soul would leave my body, longing to unite with hers. I wasn’t meant to become someone she would jump in front of a car for. She shouldn’t have noticed me, noticed my worship and fascination. I was not supposed to be fascinated by her. She was my mission. Now, she had become my reason. My reason to betray every rotten part of myself. My reason to believe everything I was taught were twisted and wicked lies. But it was too late now. Too late. I had studied every strategic way we could use to run away and hide, but the outcome was the same in every scenario. I would end up dead and she capture by OTTO’s. If I was around, I could protect her from inside; if I was gone, they’d kill her once they realize my reports were not only vague but nowhere near the truth.
She was more than the little information OTTO’s had managed to collect.
They were going to use her, break her, destroy her, and eventually kill her. They would ask of her what she’s given to no one. Except me. They would do to her what they haven’t done to anyone yet. She might officially be E-500 but she’d be the first to experience all tests on high levels. Once they realize their radiations and altered O3 treatments pass through her system like water, they would take it to extreme measures. Measures that haven’t been tested or researched to an acceptable extent. They would kill her and she would greet death like an old friend, a friend she didn’t dislike but never called either. I was certain that she wasn’t going to be of any use for them. She’d make sure of that. And they would fail…again.
They would fail for the 500th time.
Five hundred experiments resulting in deaths, tragedies, mutations, and imprisonments.
She’d be no exception.
But she wouldn't be just another. She’d be my tragedy, my regret, and my loss. She would leave this world believing I used her. Believing I abused her trust and slaughtered her mind and heart to feed the evils she despises the most. I dreaded this moment, and I never did before she came along. My missions never turned into something else. There were never detours or complications. But she changed everything, and I knew I now feared she would have an ending that would disparage her image, taint her life on this earth, and shatter her heavenly soul into million of irreparable pieces.
Oh, my love. I wish I could save you.
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