The Difference

“You don’t know the difference between Eugene O’Neill and Shaquille O’Neal.”

“Sure I do, one approached the poetic voice and the other approaches business ventures.”

That’s pretty astute. I’ve got to give you credit.”

“I told you.”

Alright. What’s the difference between Steve Harvey and Lee Harvey Oswald?”

The first is a dullard and the latter was a killer.”

“Okay, okay, okay. You really have a grasp on what people are like. Where did you get this gift from God?”

“I just know what is real. And it’s not a gift from the unknown and unknowable.”

“Pour me some of that gin. Thanks.”

“Absolutely. You have the talent, too.”

“I do?”

“It’s true. Just consider any disparate pairing with a link only as a part of their name. Take for instance Barbara Jordan and Michael Jordan.”

“Ah, the lady was eloquent in speech and the other could handle a peach. Now he handles businesses, too.”

“That was good, not great though.”

“If I get some more of this rotgut in me, I’ll be able to come up with something witty.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

“I’m sweating?”

“No, I—nevermind.”

“Alright. I’ve got one for you. Tom Brady and The Brady Bunch.”

“Now, you’re introducing a show and a person. Okay, one’s a situation comedy and the other made situations dramatic on the field.”

“This gin is getting good to me. I think that’s your best answer yet.”

“It’s mighty fine. I don’t spend too much time with them.”

“You don’t?”

“I just sort of dream them up.”

“Just out of thin air. You don’t need the liquor, either.”

“I don’t.”

“That’s remarkable.”

“Yes.”

“You must’ve been practicing this for years.”

“No. They just come to me.”

“That is remarkable.”

“Yes.”

“Do you just go through encyclopedias?“

“I sometimes do. I just have a connection in mind and link it up with another end.”

“Remarkable.”

“Yes, it’s just something I do.”

“It keeps me entertained in my own mind. I’m able to draw distinctions between people, places and ideas. It’s no trick to it really.”

“I’d beg to differ. You’ve got a real gift from—-you know what I mean.”

“I know there isn’t a person whom you mean. But there is existence and all of that provides the material for my ability.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t joined the circus.”

“No, I’d rather not shill it out as some freak for the geeks.”

“But it’s amazing! People would pay good money for what you do. Hell, I’d chip in a few dollars to be your manager.”

“No, I don’t need any of that.”

“So you’re just going to sit at this bar for peanuts and listen to bums like me.”

“I’d rather that than to be traveling around on the chitlin circuit scrounging for change from ugly faces. This is freeing.”

“I bet I could get you from behind that bar. I bet I could make you into a stalwart of the talk shows and news programs. We can shoot videos of you and put them online. Just think about that.”

“I don’t think the ability is as marketable as you suggest.”

“Why sure! It could be a business in it all alone. The selection of nouns and exploring their distinctions is of chief importance.”

“I’m going to say no. In this realm, I’ve got the possibilities of a pub poet. I can make witticisms and think amongst the buzzed and otherwise. That’s my world.”

“And you don’t want to expand it?”

“Just talking to people like you…my world grows every day.”

“You’re missing out on a lot, kid.”

“I miss out on nothing. I gain an audience that cares. Thousands or millions may just get a laugh. Out of those staggering numbers, maybe a few would understand.”

“I see.”

“Here’s more gin.”