The Diet

The Diet

Over the years, my physique changed. Muscle tissue is now less firm and more permeated by fat. The verified body mass index mercilessly pushed me into the category of the overweight; just one stop before becoming an obese middle-aged woman.

I have embarked on a few weight-loss adventures which rendered meagre results. Few pounds shed by counting calories, sweating in the gym, and skipping meals would bounce back, and keep a tight grip on my belly and thighs. I used to keep all my gently used clothing when I fitted into skinny jeans and cropped tops and they did not reveal blubber around the waist. In time, it has become clear my body size would not agree with the size of my clothes and trying to ignore the fact would make me look grotesque. There is nothing more insulting than flesh squeezed into the garments that refuse to budge under the demands of the heavy physique.

I did not dread the face-off with the mirrors. Sometimes the reflection of the self was easy on the eyes. The face was thinner and relaxed, bags under the eyes almost invisible, topped with the concealer or hidden by carefully designed coiffure. Unfortunately, there was no concealer for hiding the belly of a perfectly shaped globe cut in half and sticking under the ribs, shielding the toes from the scrutinizing look from above. Yet, I thought myself a character unspoiled by vanity. This was not of grave concern, neither should have been the cause for prolonged despair.

However, squatting has become a challenge, and a flight of stairs made me gasp for air. I was still healthy, my doctor said, but it was time to opt-out of a vicious circle. There were all kinds of diets, weight management programs, and new routines, and those who offered the services promised help, support, advice, experience, and knowledge, but never guaranteed success. Perhaps I was that one insufferable client, an aberration, exception, that margin of error that is negligible to the world but brought my self-esteem to the lowest point ever.

Then I met Eligor. It was a chance meeting if anything happening in the gym related to body improvement could be a coincidence. He was a personal trainer, a mighty warrior on the battlefield of human failures. At first sight, I acknowledged the powerful spirit behind the shrewd glance. He had the grit required to rein the fiery horses of the underworld populated with anxieties, doubts, and fears. After our first conversation, I realized the piercing look in his eyes was not the spur of the moment but a reflection of inner strength and admirable character traits. He had a subtle way of getting under one’s skin and making it a comfortable dwelling place for both of us.

At the second meeting, he outlined his weight loss plan for me.

‘It is extraordinary. It is provocative. It is out of this world. It works.’–he proudly stated, making long pauses after each sentence. He was waiting for the words to sink into my soul, as the hearing was not enough.

‘All more reason to learn about it. What do I have to do?’–I retorted eagerly.

‘You must follow the meal plan that I am going to create. The plan must be implemented with utmost attention to the order of the meals, and the ingredients,’–advised Eligor.

I promised to follow the diet before I even looked into the booklet pressed between two sheets of cardboard tied with the silk ribbon. Only hours later, I untied the loose knots on the sides and glanced at the content on the pages spread on my kitchen table.

During the first full cycle of the moon, I was to feed on resin-like spheres, tiny like the seed of coriander. I grounded them into a fine powder, mixed them with water and grilled them for a few minutes. They tasted like honey cookies and formed a shiny crust. Miraculously, I did not get bored eating the same dish over and over, three times a day. Eligor supplied the seeds but refused to disclose where and how they came into his possession.

I lost ten pounds in the first month alone. My complexion cleared of redness. The forehead did not display sweat bids on relatively cool days anymore. I lightened up–in body and spirit.

During the second full cycle of the moon, I was to feed on poultry meat alone. Chicken, turkey, quail, goose and duck had to be cleared of any visible fat before roasting. The preparation was as simple as possible: the herbs, some salt, and oven roasting filled me with fragrant meat, but not as filling and certainly less enjoyable than the broiled cakes of the first weeks.

At the end of this routine, I was nauseated much from meat and lost another ten pounds. I studied my reflection in the mirror, tried a few outfits that were bursting on the seams two months before, and decided I was on the right track. My steps lightened, and my brow arched over the invigorated glance in the eyes. I succeeded. My body and the projection of the self were in perfect harmony. I wondered what the next item on my diet menu could be.

The third moon cycle should be the last one, or so I thought. He brought a few boxes of flat bread sheets. They were burned on the edges, tasted bitter, and were supposed to be eaten with lettuce, horseradish, and celery stalks. I objected at the end of the first week.

‘ I want at least some variety: leeks, cucumbers, melons, even some fish marinated with garlic. This bread looks light and meagre but sits in my stomach like a rock. Lettuce and other plants are so harsh, so bitter…. I want to stop.’

Eligor’s lips elongated to form an almost perfect circle cut in half and then he laughed.

‘ You cannot stop now. We are at the cusp of a complete transformation, the metamorphosis of your body and spirit. Trust me, endure, go on. The ending will be glorious and all yours to enjoy.’

I stared at him with my mouth open, and my stomach wrenched with pain.

‘ I cannot. I am losing my muscle mass, I am delirious, and I cannot sleep. ‘

I think that was the first time Eligor took me. He was the most gracious lover I have ever had. He was gentle yet strong, yielding and in control. He did not speak a lot, and his eyes had not lost any of the determination he had always had.

At the end of the third moon cycle, I lost twenty pounds and diminished in size and strength. My skin has become transparent and my veins visible. The change was profound and definite. I thought that would be the end of the program. I thought that would be the end of me as recognized by myself and the others.

Eligor said that was not the end. It was the beginning of another stage: the cocoon would open and I could finally fly.

I was not given anything to eat during the fourth cycle. He created the incense formula, rich, fragrant, with the smoke that stood as a perfect column in the middle of the room where it burnt and told me,

‘Inhale. Deeply. Fill your whole being with the fragrance. Let it reach all the way to your toes. In and out, in and out. Deep breaths. ‘

I disappear with every breath that reaches my lungs. I fill my whole being with the fragrant smoke dissolving into it and heading towards new heights. My diet has been a complete success.