The Calm of Nature's Safe Embrace

There is something wonderful about the countryside. The way you can just breathe and everything is so open and beautiful. As I wake up to the sun shining through my grandparents guest bedroom window, I remember just how wonderful it is out here. The smell of my granny's bacon and freshly made biscuits fill the air. The view of trees, fields, and flowers line the other side of the street, blessing my morning view. I was raised out here for most of my early childhood. I'm 12 now and my parents have moved us a few cities away to a much busier community. Everything is plain, predictable, and close to the city. But I always get to spend the weekends, during the summer, at my grandparents. I love the country air and connection to nature out here.

I make my way into the kitchen ready to get the day going. I eat my breakfast and chat with my grandparents for a bit. I fill them in on the week's activities. The small box tv in the kitchen playing while my granny's dachshund begs for bacon scraps under the table. Oh, how I've missed it here. After breakfast I have my whole day planned. It's all I've thought about all week. I have a very good friend who I grew up with, who lives just 2 trailers down the road. I love visiting my grandparents for so many reasons but my adventures with Meg, is one of my favorite reasons of all.

After breakfast I walk my way down our long slopped driveway and down the road to Meg's place. She's already out on the porch ready to go, waving as dramatically as ever. Not a care in the world. I talk to her mom a bit and make the usual promise that we will stay out of trouble. "We are just going down the road to another friend's home to hang out," we lie. We make sure we have our bag stashed out of sight, stuffed with our disposable cameras, water bottles, snacks, and various other whatever's, and eventually we make our way down the road. It is one of our favorite things to do together. Adventure, explore... not listen to our parents. There is so much to see out here. So much nature, mystery, and fun. Last weekend it was the creek around the bend of our street. Just a small drop from the road bridge and we walked so far along the creek we thought we wouldn't make it back before dark. We almost didn't. But it was a blast. We stumbled upon snakes, strange rocks, wildflowers, and so many other cool things.

Today we are venturing across the street. After we get far enough down the road from our families sight, we climb up the ditch and duck into the corn fields across the street. We goof off, playing our own version of Marco Polo as we laugh and roam through the fields. Until, finally, we make it halfway through the fields to an opening.

We've been out here a couple times since summer began. Our first time we found an abandoned, boarded up house in the wooded area next to the fields. We managed to find a broken out window and shimmied our way into the house. It was still full of furniture and appliances. The mystery of this kind of stuff is what thrilled us. What are we going to find, you know? The doors were nailed shut but we managed to get one loose enough so we could come back if we didn't get caught. Illegal and dangerous, I'm sure, but so much fun. And we never got caught or hurt, so far. During our 2nd trip out we found the trail. We played around the fields and stumbled out on the other side to find what appeared to be a tractor made trail. Which is where we were now. We followed it about 20 minutes out that first time, to where it forked. One way continued forward along the cornfield and seemed to stop in the distance but the second way is really what grabbed our attention. We stood there for a good while weighing out pros and cons of venturing so far out. But this time we decided we definitely needed to keep track of time though.

We left earlier today and Meg snuck out her sister's watch to help us keep better track of the time. We make our way to the fork, taking in all the sights, not in a hurry. The smells of the wet corn, grass, and the wonderful country air around us give me so much energy. And as we turned towards the new path a new sense hits me. It was fear but excitement all bundled in one. I'm so excited to see what new thing we will find today. As we continue forward, a single tree stood in our path. Tall corn on each side, it gave a sense of strength and solidarity that calms me in such a strange way. Such strange feelings that only an adventure could bring. We follow the trail straight across and around the second corn field. It then leads into some brushy areas full of morning glories (my favorite flower), black berry bushes and other weed like plants. We talk, gossip, and goof off, picking berries and snapping pictures of whatever unique things that stand out to us, as well as several pictures of ourselves.

After several turns and steep hills we find what looks to be less of a trail and more of an old dirt road. It doesn't connect to any real road that we notice and it is overgrown with trees and other wildlife. We check our watch before continuing forward, we still have some time and both of us definitely want to see more. We creep up the road, we can already see building structures not far ahead. We come up to an old chicken coop and what looks to be an old horse stable at first. It all looks really aged, like from my granny's old westerns she watches every day. Not much farther from that we find an old home. It's old prairie house and behind it, an old barn. Both are covered in moss and vines, surrounded by trees and overgrowth. This place definitely hasn't been inhabited in a very long time. And, of course, we have to see what the inside looks like. The door is missing so it is easy to get into. Like the first house we had found, this one also looks very abandoned, furniture, table wear, clothing, and even a stuffed toy can be easily distinguished.. It is truly fascinating to see how these people lived and what has become of it since they left.

We talk and imagine about what may have happened to the inhabitants, what it was like here, why they left. Then after we have a quick snack we make our way back outside to see the rest of the place. Meg makes her way to the barn as I stumble upon what looks to be an old storm type shelter. Stone steps, that lead down into the ground to an old wood, plank door with a lock. I have to force the door a bit but when I finally get in I realize it is a sort of pantry. It is barely bigger than our closet at home and has old shelves and broken jars all along the wall. As well as its fair share of spiders and trash along the floor. After a moment and a few pictures, I hear Meg calling for me. I rush over to the barn to see her playing around with some old horse shoes and tools. Just being her normal, crazy self. The barn is weathered but it still has so much personality. It isn't to big but there are rusted tools and a pulling plow type thing towards the back. As I'm taking in the rustic beauty of this old structure I notice the graffiti on some of the boards and the glass bottles scattered around. I suppose we aren't the first to find this hidden treasure place after all.

I finally start to feel a since of urgency. My gut is tightening up, telling me to leave, get far away from here. I look around the barn with fear and distrust. Thinking of how the people that made this mess could come back. What might happen if they do and find us here. Two young girls, by themselves, a good distance from home. It's a funny thing. I never felt as afraid in the wonders of nature as I was by the signs of humanity. The beauty and mystery of this abandoned farm that entrances and mystifies us. These places that feel us with questions and give us so much to admire, quickly turn into a dangerous and untrustworthy place. All thanks to the hands of humankind. I hadn't felt unsafe thus far not with the wildlife, not with animals, or the broken collapsing frames of the buildings. I didn't feel unsafe until I witnessed the very human dangers that were present. The beer bottles, graffiti, cigarette remains, and even a piece of clothing here and there that were quite modern compared to what is in the house. It is that, that makes my insides flair with fear and I finally decide that it is time for us to go.

Meg is not nearly as alarmed but after checking her sister's watch she reluctantly agrees. It is at least an hours walk back and we have spent another couple of hours or so just exploring the farm and hanging out. So after a few more quick pictures and a moment to catch our breathe we take one last glance at all the amazing hidden wonders we have found and make our way back home. As we head home we talk about everything. We are still full of questions and now want to know just what else is in these woods, surrounding our neighborhood, and hiding from the world. What else can we find? What else can we unearth? How amazing the world is beyond our youthful, adult made boundaries.

Finally, tired and a bit sunburnt, we make it home. I walk Meg to her door and give her one last hug before dragging myself back to my grandparent's. I wash up, remove a tick or two that hitched a ride while we were out, and have an amazing, much needed dinner with my granny and papa. I make up some tale of what Meg and I did during the day. But oh how I wish I could tell them what we did, what we found on our adventure. If it weren't such a dangerous thing, and I weren't such a young girl, my granny might actually enjoy the story. But I keep it inside. My mother would never let me outside again if she knew. It's to dangerous for a kid, for a 12 year old girl, to be exploring the woods and trespassing in corn fields and what was probably restricted land. So I keep my secrets. I watch a bit of late night news with my granny then I go collapse in my bed, remembering everything as I drift off to sleep. The beauty of the world; the trees, the trail, the flowers, the smells. The mystery of the forest and world around us that I barely knew but wanted to learn so much about. The images of that beautifully broken farm house as well as that barn. That barn that snapped me back to reality and sent a very real fear into me, making me remember just how dangerous the world and humans can be. How strange it is that I could feel so safe in something I know nothing about. Yet feel so unsafe around things that are to familiar.