When they started their relationship it was with all intentions of hooking up or at least seeing where things would lead. However, their timing never lined up. When Kevin met Kaling their attraction was instant. That’s why he asked for her number. The problem was Kaling was in a weird place in her life. Kevin met Kaling in the middle of her celibacy journey. She wanted to be celibate for a year. That wasn’t the issue for Kevin. He would wait. He was willing to wait 10 years if he had to. He had a feeling it would be worth it.
However, besides being celibate, Kaling was in a strictly exclusive relationship with herself. She was on a journey to self-love, self-awareness and being self sufficient to gain mental stability and she didn’t want anyone to ruin the progress she had made. Not even Kevin.
This was a difficult decision for Kaling, but she knew she had to choose herself. This was what the journey was about after all and she couldn’t give up at the first difficult part.
So there they were. Two people who were madly attracted to each other with amazing chemistry. Honestly, Kevin was everything Kaling wanted and Kaling was what Kevin needed. But Kaling knew it was unfair to ask Kevin to wait for her so she never asked. Kevin desperately wished she would. Instead, she encouraged him to search for other options but she had one request. He would be her cuddle buddy.
Kaling was taking a break from sex but she was touch-deprived. She just wanted to be held and Kevin just wanted to hold her. So cuddle buddies they became. Thus their complicated relationship turned into a combination of best friends and friends with benefits with the benefits just being heavy petting. The temptations were strong but they were able to resist ever taking things further.
This is why Kaling was so taken aback when Kevin invited her on a staycation for his birthday.
“Why are you asking me?” asked Kaling.
“I have no one else to ask,” replied Kevin.
“What about the girl you’re talking to?”.
“She has to work.”.
Kaling’s heart sank a little. “So I’m your second choice?” She didn’t know why this made her so sad. Before he could respond she continued. “Why did you book it if you knew she had to work?”.
“I didn’t know, she just found out. She said she doesn’t have a choice. You’re not my second choice Kaling, you know it’s not like that.” He locked eyes with her.
Both of them felt the butterflies. Kaling looked away. “Don’t you have anyone else you can ask?”.
“Who else could I ask? Besides I want it to be you. You’re my best friend.”.
She stiffened. “I don’t know. It might be weird”. Bestfriend. She repeated the word in her head.
“It doesn’t have to be, we spend time together all of the time Kaling.” They were together the previous night. “We can have separate beds”. He was afraid he had given her the wrong impression. He was always scared he would overstep. He didn’t want to do anything to lose her. As hard as it was to keep his feelings secret, he knew losing her would be harder.
Kaling crinkled her face. He knew she was starting to consider it. He had to drive it home.
“It’s only two nights, there’s a pool. I promise to drive you home immediately if your mother needs you.”. Kevin knew Kaling was always hesitant to leave her mother alone as she was her caretaker. He chose to believe that’s why she didn’t want to go.
Kaling looked at him.
He continued. “I’ll get you whatever you want to eat.”.
A huge smile came over Kaling’s face. He got her.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll go.” She said laughing.
Kevin grinned. He was so happy. He cherished every moment he had with Kaling and he looked forward to spending an entire weekend with her. On his birthday no less. Even with separate bedrooms, he knew he would rather spend a sexless staycation weekend with Kaling that a sex-filled weekend with anyone else.
The weekend finally came, they were both excited all be it a little nervous. They both knew their friendship wouldn’t be the same after this weekend. They just hoped it would change for the better.
Kaling’s love language was receiving gifts. This also meant she loved giving gifts. Kevin was her favourite person to give gifts to. He was always so excited. Watching his reactions to her gifts always brought her joy. This time was no different. As she sat in the living room of the guest house she watched him reading the card she wrote for him. He always read the card first. She watched him blush as he read her words. It made her uncomfortable when other people read her words in front of her. Usually, she didn’t feel that way with Kevin, but this time was different. As a distraction she started clearing away the takeout they had for dinner.
She watched him from the kitchen counter. Kevin was everything. She knew she loved him. Why didn’t she allow herself to feel her feelings? Then she thought back to the conversation they had when he asked her to come with him on the staycation. His first choice had to work. That’s the only reason why she was here. The only reason she knew he was going on a staycation. Bestfriend. She remembered how she felt when he called her that. Kevin was her best friend but sometimes she felt like they were more. Until he did or say something to remind her they’re not.
The truth is they were a lot closer than traditional best friends. She thought back to one of the last times they made out. They hadn’t done that in a while. Not since Kevin started talking to this new girl. Kaling decided to keep thing platonic when she entered the picture. She didn’t want to be the other woman, she would never encourage someone to cheat. But she missed him. Part of her hoped he would have chosen her, but why would he? She wasn’t able to give him anything he needed. Now she couldn’t remember why she ever thought letting in Kevin would have been bad for her. However, it was for the best. She knew at that time she was not the type of woman Kevin deserved. Now it was too late. At least he was still in her life.
He came over to join her in the kitchen, standing beside her. Not too close as he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He leaned on the counter. Kaling silently willed him to touch her. He didn’t.
“Thank you for your letter and the gift, you always get the best gifts and you always know what to say”. He continued shyly. “Is it bad I like the card more? I mean I love them both but you know how much your words mean to me.”.
She turned to face him blushing. Here came the butterflies. “You’re welcome”. “Thank you for inviting me, I’m glad your friend had to work.”. She put her hand over the hand he was leaning on the counter with.
He immediately turned his hand over to hold her fingers. He started caressing her hand, bringing her to him slightly. “I’m glad you came, there isn’t anyone I would rather be here with. There isn’t anyone I would rather spend my birthday with.”.
She looked up at him. “What about your first choice?”
“Kaling you are always my first choice. If you weren’t here I would just spend the entire time thinking about you.”.
“Thinking about your best friend?”.
“You’re my best friend, aren’t you?”.
“Is that all I am?”.
Kevin drew her closer, slowly. “You are my everything, Kaling. Whatever you want to be to me, you are…you know that.”. He sighed and looked down.
Kaling stepped closer and put her head on his chest. She could feel his heart beating. She put the hand he wasn’t holding around his waist and held him tightly. He let go of her hand and held her. Drawing her closer to him. They embraced in silence.
“I miss you,” she said. “I miss you touching me.”.
He began rubbing her back and she looked up at him. She drew his face to hers and kissed him. Their gentle kiss got more passionate, his hands caressed her body, pulling her as close as physically possible. She could feel him. He stopped. She whispered, “you don’t have to stop.”.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured, I didn’t invite you here so this could happen-”
She cut him off and smiled, “But I came here hoping it would.”.
He smiled back and took her to the bedroom.
Kevin and Kaling were in the pool. Kevin sitting on the side of the pool, his legs dangling in the water. Kaling between his legs, looking at him.
“What are you going to tell her?”
“What do you want me to tell her?”
“I don’t know that’s up to you. You should be honest but not too honest so you aren’t mean.”.
This is why he loved her, well one of the reasons why. She was so empathetic and thoughtful. He knew she was more upset about the conversation he would have to have than he was.
“I don’t think it’s going to affect her that much. We weren’t that close.”.
“Close enough that you were going to invite her on a staycation.”.
His heart sank a little. He knew he didn’t technically lie but he knew Kaling was a stickler for honesty. She never liked having one pulled over her. He didn’t know how she would react. He was so close to having her, he didn’t want to mess it up.
“I have a confession to make”
She just stared at him.
He continued. “ I didn’t technically lie to you but I guess I wasn’t honest with my intentions, and I’m sorry”
“ What do you mean?”
“I did ask her, and she did tell me she had to work but I asked knowing she would never agree to it. All I know she lied about having to work.”.
“I’m confused, so why did you ask? Why didn’t you think she would agree?”.
“You know we hook up occasionally, but we aren’t that close and I don’t think she was ever really into me.”
“Why did you book the staycation then?” Kaling knew the answer she wanted to hear.
“I wanted you to go with me. I didn’t know how to just come right out and ask but I knew I had a better chance of you agreeing if you felt sorry for me” He regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth.
She took her hands away from his. This is what she wanted him to say but it felt weird. “So you manipulated me.”
He knew she would think that. She had been manipulated so many times before by men. She confided in him and he didn’t want her to think he was like them. But he guessed he was.
“I am so sorry Kaling, I didn’t think of it like that. I guess I was just being selfish. I wanted to spend more time with you. I swear it was never my intention for us to have sex, I just wanted to be with you, like we use to be. But I know how being loyal and faithful are important to you I know you would never agree to go away with me”
“You just said things weren’t serious between you two” she snapped.
She was getting angry but she was hurt. He could see the tears forming in her eyes as she tried to blink them away.
He took her hands and stared into her eyes. “Kaling, I promise you I am not lying to you. She and I are not serious but you never even gave me a chance to tell you that. When I told you I met someone you just ended things. I figured you wanted it to be over so I never pushed it”. We hook up occasionally but it never moved past that. I promise”
She shook her head.
“I also apologise for manipulating you, I should have been honest about my feelings I was just scared I would scare you away. I didn’t want to lose you, Kaling”.
She believed him. “What if she said yes?”
“I guess I would be stuck.” He laughed.
“That’s not funny”. She snapped.
“I was serious when I said I would spend the entire weekend thinking about you”
“That wouldn’t be fair to her,” Kaling said.
He sighed. “You’re right” She was right, but he felt he was fighting a losing battle. He didn’t know what to do.
Kaling could tell Kevin was feeling down about this. She was slightly upset, but not enough to want him to feel bad about it. She stepped between his legs again, putting her hands around his waist loosely.
“You need to be honest about your feelings”. She looked into his eyes
He stared deeply into her eyes. She felt the butterflies in her stomach and below.
“You want to know how I feel about you?” He was ready to tell her everything.
“I meant you need to be honest with her.”
He deflated. “Ok.”
“What are you going to do?”
“About what?” he said slightly annoyed. He didn’t know why Kaling was still keeping him out. He thought things had changed but he was wrong. He silently told himself off for having sex with her. She wasn’t ready yet.
“About her. Are you still going to hook up with her?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Then I won’t”. Kaling looked away. “Kaling, I am willing to do whatever you want me to do. I am yours, whether you want me to be or not. I am here only for you.” He sighed and put his head in his hands before he continued. “I was willing to wait for you and I am willing to continue waiting for you. I just need you to tell me what you want, whatever you want I will do. Even if you just want to go back to being just friends.” He looked up at her. “Just tell me what to do”
Kaling put her forehead on his. “I want you to want me.” She said softly. They both giggled realising she quoted a line from one of her favourite songs.
“I already want you, Kaling”.
Kaling knew what she wanted to hear. She loved him and she just wanted him to love her back.
“No, it’s more than that. I want you to love me” she said before turning away from him. She hated being vulnerable but it was one of the lessons she had learned on heir journey of self-love and self-awareness. She needed to allow herself to be vulnerable when she needed to be.
“Kaling”. He pulled her back gently, letting her rest her back on him as he spoke directly into her ear. “I love you, I have been loving you” he laughed. They both laughed as she turned around.
She kissed him.
“Did my masterplan work?” He asked softly.
“What was your plan?”
“To bring you here and make you fall in love with me”
“That was your plan?”
“Not consciously but I did have hope.”
“Fall in love with you in a day? I don’t think so”
He smiled. She didn’t have to love him back, he was just happy he had her.
She continued “I’ve been loving you”.
They both grinned.