That's Bull sh*t

“PREPOSTEROUS!” She yelled.

“There’s no way that story is anywhere near true. Those two legged monsters lie so much. I don’t know what to believe anymore. You remember what they said about the fighting, right? Those are battles we could have easily won, except for the important details they left out about the swords! Eefing red capes! You believe that human sh*t?! Oh, poor Rico. Ay dios mio,” as she made the sign of the cross.

Matilda sipped her tea and kept watching her telenovelas, interjecting commentary as she thought of it.

“Why would a bull even enter a china shop?” She questioned. “There’s no way that story is true.”

Max with his head in his hands kept shaking his head. He kept getting into trouble following the advice of the humans. If he followed through on one more of their ideas Matilda was going to leave him. Seriously though, she probably wouldn’t need to because he might end up like Rico. Pobrecito.

It all started when he heard them talking about a sure thing against one of their own. They called it a bullfight. Max was strong. He’d had boxing lessons, easy money he thought. He could take down another bull, but that wasn’t what this bullfight was about. It was bull against man. Max was like, “cool, cool, cool. I can do that,” so he volunteered. He wasn’t the first to go in the ring. It wasn’t even a ring, and there were no boxing gloves. It was an arena.

“Hmm. Should I be concerned?” Max wondered. The two legged ones continued to urge him on.

His friend Rico was the first. Rico was mistreated from the beginning. The humans did everything they could to weaken him, stabbed him, shaved down his horns. They almost blinded him putting some kind of goo in his eyes. Rico looked at Max. He was scared, clearly in trouble. It wasn’t going to be a fair fight at all. It wasn’t even a fight. It was more of an ambush. He fought as much as he could in his disabled condition, but he was boxed in a stall. A gate opened. His tormentors pushed him out into the arena and one of them kept waving a cloth around. Were they trying to piss him off even more? Hadn’t they done enough? Rico looked perplexed.

He tried to run for it but there was no escape from the arena. The gates were closed once they pushed him in. There was cheering. He ran toward the one waving the cloth, but he wasn’t alone. He had compatriots. They continued tormenting Rico, stabbing, cajoling. Rico ran as hard as he could until he fell. Max ran away as fast as he could after he saw the way Rico was treated. Rico didn’t make it.

“Why were they so cruel?” Max wondered aloud as he made the sign of the cross.

The humans had come up with another idea. This one included bulls and men too, something about a road and running. Max heard them talking. Honestly, Max thought, it sounded like a good time, stress release actually. They could run on a street without limits. The street would be blocked off like a track, and if he could run over a human or two or five, it would be pay back for the way they treated Rico.

Should he tell Matilda about this new idea? She already balked at the china shop story. He hadn’t even told her all the details. The bull was his cousin Red, and he had gone into the china shop to pick up a tea set Max had ordered for Matilda for their anniversary. Max knew how much Matilda liked sipping her tea in fine china. He got the idea of getting her a nice set from a two legged one.