Summer in the Shadows

The familiar symphony of cicada chirps greeted Marissa as she stepped out of her pickup and into the afternoon sun. The sun blazed overhead as a slight breeze offered minuscule relief from the baking rays. After looking around to make sure she wasn't followed, Marissa quickly slipped inside the rustic barn that standing before her. Stepping into the rotted, falling-apart structure, you'd almost think it was sundown. Apart from the slits of light coming in through the patchy ceiling, it was as dark as night inside the barn. But having come to this dilapidated building many times before, Marissa knew how to navigate her way through the black void.

"Lacey? Are you in here?" Marissa called out in a half-whisper, half-shout.

An answer came in the form of a girl stepping out from behind the rusted tractor stationed in the middle of the barn. Even in the miniscule lighting, Marissa's heart fluttered at seeing Lacey. Glints of her auburn hair became visible as Lacey stepped closer to Marissa and gave her the smile that she'd grown accustomed to seeing after seven years worth of school days with Lacey.

"What took you so long?" Lacey asked, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

"The truck conked out on me again. I swear, if I knew this tin can was gonna break down every 5 minutes, I would've settled for walking." Marissa grumbled as she and Lacey walked over to their usual spot at the back of the barn. After their first few visits to the isolated barn, Marissa got the idea to create a makeshift mattress for her and Lacey to call their "crash pad." It consisted of an old bale of hay that Marissa pulled apart into a flat mass of hay, with a blanket spread over it for the girls to lay down on. After smoothing out the lumpy quilt to make it more comfortable, the teens stretched out together.

"I didn't wait that long. I'm just glad you're here now." Lacey said as she instinctively put her arm around Marissa. Wound up from a near mental-breakdown-inducing day, Lacey couldn't help herself but immediately go in for a kiss. Taken aback, Marissa wasn't sure how to respond to Lacey's advance. Usually, making out with her girlfriend in their out-of-the-way hideaway was an indescribable pleasure. But right now, with Lacey's unusually chapped lips and aggressive fervor, Marissa could tell something was wrong. After squirming out of Lacey's grip, Marissa rubbed her lips clean before questioning Lacey.

"Jesus, Lace! Usually, you're up for a little chat before getting right to it, and even then, you're usually in the mood for foreplay. What's up with you?" The half-sarcastic question hit Lacey like a knife to the heart--as Marissa's intuition was right. There was a reason for her feverish kisses--a reason that had teardrops forming in Lacey's eyes that she quickly tried to wipe away. But Marissa saw them and drew Lacey into a protective embrace; one that Lacey couldn't help but melt into like butter. After taking a moment to collect her breath, Lacey revealed what was weighing on her mind.

"Today's sermon was all about homosexuality." Those six words were all that Marissa needed to hear to realize why Lacey was in such desperate need of carnal escape. Being the daughter of their town's revered Baptist preacher, Lacey had grown up hearing all about how being gay was nothing but a horrific sin punishable by an eternity of pain. Those teachings were the reason why it took Lacey so long to accept herself for who she was. It took just as long for her to accept the feelings she had for Marissa. With her father's hateful words bouncing around her head and ricocheting down to pierce her heart, Lacey couldn't stop the tears from streaking down her face. Pangs of the self-hatred Marissa had once grappled with rang out in her own chest as she gingerly cleaned Lacey's face with her sleeve.

"Lacey...you are the most...loving, compassionate, and pure-hearted person I know. I knew that from the second it met you when I fell off that stupid jungle gym and skinned my knee. You didn't know me at all, and you still helped limp me to the nurse's office and missed out on the rest of recess to stay with me. After that, you've always been there for me...even when I was being a total bitch and it would've been easy to leave me to self-destruct on my own. So I don't believe for a second...that God could ever send you to Hell. It's just not possible."

Marissa's impassioned words sent Lacey into another melty hug, allowing her remaining tears to fall onto Marissa's shoulder. "I try to remember that, Marissa, but it's really hard with everyone else always saying otherwise. It doesn't help that I know you're lying about me being compassionate."

"What do you mean?"

"If I were so compassionate, I wouldn't be forcing you to keep our relationship in the closet. You shouldn't have to go through that again because of me." Marissa had the sneaking suspicion that was what Lacey was going to say, and she was quick to take her by the hands to tell her she was wrong.

"Lacey...coming out to my parents was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It took them so long to accept me as I am, and honestly, I think they're still struggling to do that. I know why you're afraid, and I understand that you're not ready to tell anyone about us yet. When you're ready to take that big leap...I'll be there. To help you through whatever comes after."

"You promise?" Lacey asked in a shaky voice.

"With all my heart," Marissa said before pulling Lacey into a more delicate kiss. The kind of kisses Marissa was used to sharing with Lacey in their unlikely paradise. Until the day came that she and Lacey could freely kiss and hold each other in public, Marissa could settle for keeping their love concealed within the four walls of their dingy barn.

But as Lacey and Marissa got lost in each other's warmth, they failed to notice the pair of furious eyes watching them through the broken window. A pair of eyes belonging to a horrified and repulsed father who wasn't about to let his "wayward daughter" fall onto the "wrong path"...

To be continued