She is Trying

NB: Dear reader, I am not answering all those questions you have in your head. So, if you wanted resolution, give up and stop reading. Faith Penny is a complicated woman with universal troubles that deserves unraveling.

Faith Penny crawled alone into bed in a drunken stupor and fell into a punitive sleep. Waylen Penny had been with the neighbors, helping them reseal a deck, so he was surprised to find a cold, empty stove at the end of his hard work. He was even more surprised to find his wife passed out so early in bed on a Saturday; the sun had barely gone down. She tossed and turned fitfully in a way he had seen only during her finals week in college. Being in tune to her, he knew something was up but dared not shake her out of her drunken slumber. After all, the last time he had, it led to her making those damned videos.

Waylen found them endearing and annoying at the same time. He liked that his wife was trying to maintain a connection with her children but was uncomfortable with her involving the public. He was a quiet, private man. He hated how the men at work came up to him and asked about recipes their wives would like to see or use it as a way to make conversation. He was a nonbiased man and wanted to remain that way. Her extra curriculars where for her and, if it elevated him, great; but he preferred not to be involved. He was a cog that kept things running despite the mayhem of life and that is all he wanted to be. Essential and loved. Without any negative reviews or sucking up from brown nosers.

Faith Penny tossed and turned next to her husband. Guilt, remorse, and shame roiled in her as she writhed in her sleep. It bled into her dreams and woke her up with feelings of terror. “How will I face this?” she thought in her waking, before stifling that fear with sleep again.

Faith Penny was a socialite. When her peers had shamed her in her youth, for various, however just reasons, she had cowed them back with her wit and her might! She had forced back any flack they could give her and brought them to heel as her entrusted friend or stable enemy. Now what could she do?! They had defaming evidence that she would never be able to fully eradicate.

She could fight this, to be sure! She could twist this back into her control. The problem was how would she bring this up to her husband? He had never wanted her to do this endeavor. He didn’t want the attention on their family. The thing was, Faith Penny NEEDED this! She wanted her girls to look at her and heed her life tutorials. She wanted more than the few minutes of “Mom, how do you.....” conversations with them. She didn’t want to be the encyclopedia they used her for. She wanted to be like the wizard of their youth, where she magically conjured solutions that they now guffawed at.

She wanted them to treat her like they did the tick tock videos they shared about various life hacks. “Mom, look at this; it’s brilliant!” She always wanted to reply, “I knew that.” Then wondered, “why didn’t they?” Oh yeah, she had forgotten to show them or had run out of time, which she hadn’t even known was possible. Well, really, she didn’t get a chance. They had gone off to college, one right after the other, and somewhere along the lines, they had decided they knew best and could do no better.

If only they knew the way she knew, how the world worked best when a woman understood how to be predictably unpredictable... They would, if only they would come back to her, let her teach them, but she could not thwart their successes, and she refused to hear of their failures. She would just have to make sure they understood some other way. That’s really how the show got started in the first place.

When Faith awoke Sunday morning to her husband’s nudges, she moaned into her pillows, “hhhhmmmmmuuuuuu.” It was a series of guttural noises that she realized her husband would not be able to interpret, so she followed it with, “honey, I have a migraine.”

It was a polite code between them that communicated that Faith was hung over or unexplainably heartsick and wanted to be left alone, so Waylen said, “That’s alright darling. I will go to church without you and give everyone your best wishes.”

Remembering the day before, Faith shot up out of bed like she had been struck by lightning. “No!” she cried out before she could think.

Her husband looked at her like he did not recognize the creature he married. Faith latched onto his arm in desperation. “I just need you,” Faith said without further explanation.

Waylen looked down at the hand clutching him. He was a sucker for women in need, and he loved it when his capable wife succumbed to any weakness. It made him feel adept and powerful. He patted her hand, “Would you like me to stay?” His eyes were hooded. This wasn’t fully sexual; it was more of an ego boost just knowing he could care for and have a handle on such an all-around wonderful woman.

“Please!” Faith said not hiding her tears. It was a rare occasion for her to be so weepy in front of her husband. She allowed herself to be weak only when she needed something, and she needed something now: she needed for him to stay away from any hint of gossip about her. She needed him not to find out about her faux pas. The last thing she wanted was him shutting down her live operation. Not when she was getting traction! Not when she was so close to getting her children's attention!

His wife’s burst of tears was new and alarming. She rarely cried unless she wanted something and he couldn’t fathom what that could possibly be, especially when he gave into her every whim. “Are you alright?” He asked growing increasingly concerned.

“Yes!” Faith responded quickly, grasping for an explanation for her behavior. “I had a terrible nightmare and I just need you,” she said modifying the truth as she buried her head in his chest, encouraging him to wrap his arms around her. He didn’t need to be dragged into this, and she vowed silently with all her might to try to keep him out of the fray.

Will Waylen find out what his wife is hiding? Will Faith be able to put this blunder behind her? Will Faith's children come back to her?