Separated

I stood for hours at the edge.

I do not know what else to do. Is there anything else to do? No, there probably is, but I can not—will not—think of it. How could I? It would not be fair. Alone I wonder about the future because alone I stand. But I should be standing with you.

Well, I suppose, if you are to think about the situation, I am standing with you. Quite sad to think of, really, how this will be the only way to be next to you for a long time. I genuinely wish I could stand—oh now sit—next to you.

I remember when we used to come here. This very place we now reside. Do you remember? We used to run along the paths shouting out the names engraved here. We used to gawk at stone dates set far in the past. We used to have fun here. Will this place ever show good memories anymore? I am sorry I have ruined that for you.

Is that grass soft? It looks to be. I wish I could feel it. I wish I could feel anything. Even the gravelly loam that covers me now. That is interesting to think about. Is that me? Or is this me? Possibly both are me, I suppose.

Listen to me, rambling on and on. If you could only hear me, you would tell me to quiet myself and enjoy the silence. I did often ruin your silence, did I not? The look in your eyes makes me think that you would love it if I broke the silence right now. If only you could hear me, my dear, here I am, ruining your silence.

I want you to stay here, love, but I also wish for you to go. Your red eyes and tear-stained cheeks hurt my heart to see. I know you are in tremendous pain, so why do you stay? Is it for me? I hope it is not for me, but I know it is.

It has been longer than I realized, has it not? Your hair is longer, and your skin has lost its shine. Have I been away from you for that long? I am so sorry I have done this to you. I wish I could tell you to move on, but here I sit screaming into your ear, and you do not hear a word. Please, my love, this place is taking your glow away.

I cannot tell how long has passed. You look older than a moment ago. What is happening? Why has time changed so strangely? Was it not mere hours ago that I was first laid here? No, the exposed dirt is no longer. Lush grass has covered the rectangle of earth where I reside. I had not noticed. Please, my love, go. I do not wish for you to feel this way any longer.

I know that time has passed because you hold something in your hands now, beautiful golden blooms on dashing evergreen stalks. They pale in comparison to your beauty, my love.

You and I stand eye to eye now, my dear, though only I know that. The blooms brush against the second date engraved on my stone. I see now how close the two dates are. I am sorry I left you so soon; please, love, move on. I see now that the hours to me were years to you. I stood on the edge of our worlds for years. I will leave now, my love, so you can truly move on. Thank you for the flowers. Marigolds have always been my favorites.