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Nikki's Song Pt. 2

How whales came to enjoy listening to Bob Dylan.

By Kerry WilliamsPublished 2 years ago 43 min read
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Photo by unsplash.com Iewek Gnos

I held the rail and dipped one foot in, testing what I already knew. My heart and mind struggled to understand. My memories conflicted with one another. Memories of a whale, memories of a human. Images of sea monsters and drawings I'd recently collected came to the forefront of my mind. No! No, no, no! My heart wrenched into a pulp. After two years of struggling to make this happen, and now... she was gone? Over some stupid drawings? I… I didn't think she was a monster! I could never think that!

I searched my memories, everything I knew, everything I could remember. I hit my head with the palm of my hand in self-loathing, shaming myself for even buying such disgusting depictions. A rocky structure deep under water stuck in the forefront of my mind. A white whale and a fisherman with a spear, ramming it through the whales open maw as it ate sailors by the dozens. A skeleton key. A blinding blue light. Shattered rocks and underwater structures… it looked like a sunken city… Was… was I remembering this place? Atlantia...

I opened my eyes and yanked my mask off, dropping it on the deck. I unclipped my tank and set it down, not wanting to create a missile hazard and then took off my fins. “Jacob!” I shouted, unzipping my suit and shimmying out of the top.

Jacob came out of the bridge and looked down at me. “Aye, Captain?”

“Prepare to make way!” I called out. Immediately Jacob ducked back into the bridge and a moment later a shrill whistle filled the air and then Jacob’s orders boomed out over the intercom system. I hurried to get out of my suit and stow everything away while the crew took care of all the remaining reparations. Nobody questioned my orders or motives. Nobody asked for a reason. We pulled anchor and were gone in less than thirty minutes, a churning wake of blue-green water trailing out behind us.

October 19th, 2001. Half way across the Atlantic I felt a presence and with great urgency, I rushed out to the aft and slipped, almost falling over the rail. Grumbling to myself about not taking the necessary precautions, I yelled up to the bridge to get one of the crew’s attention. Mark turned and saw me and I motioned for him to keep watch. I wrapped a rope around my left arm and then leaned over the rail, plunging my hand into the icy ocean.

I felt her then, her presence deep below, so deep there was no way I could ever reach her, but my thoughts, my thoughts could. I was heading back to America, back to Virginia Beach. From Norfolk to Norway, and back, I needed her to know, I thought about her. Her and Sophia. I would see her again. The ocean was not an obstacle to me, not anymore. It was nothing more than a medium for travel. A place to live within, the nurture, to take care of, and to cherish.

The feeling was so faint… I let go and pulled my hand back out.

October 20th, 2001. I received an urgent short wave radio signal and rushed to the bridge. “What is it?” I asked as I grabbed the receiver and keyed the mic. “This is Jostein Alexsander, Captain of the-”.

“Hi Daddy!” Sophia’s voice came through the speaker on the bridge and Jacob immediately stepped outside the bridge and closed the door. I ignored the breach of short wave radio etiquette and smiled, thinking, she’ll get the hang of it.

I held the button down and waited a second. “Hey there!” I said, and then added, “over”.

“Sorry Daddy! I’m new to all of this. Over!”

I smiled at her voice, and the fact that she knew where she’d messed up already. She was a smarty, my girl. Instantly I began to worry. Was something wrong? What was the emergency? I almost hit the talk button when her voice came through the speaker again.

“Hey Daddy. It’s Sophia. Everything’s fine. I was just worried about you and I wanted to hear your voice. I hope I get to see you soon! Over!”

I keyed the mic. “Hey Sophia, I’m actually on my way home right now. Passing the north wall in the next twenty-four. I should be home for Halloween. Over.” Halloween was Sophia’s favorite holiday and she loved seeing all the kids dressed up in so many different costumes. I remembered the last one when she dressed up as a fairy princess with blue hair. Blue.

“Hey Daddy! Uh… That sounds great. I’m not dressing up this year… if that’s okay with you. I’m just gonna give out candy. Over.”

“That’s fine by me pumpkin, over.” I said, thinking it would be both clever and funny to say such a thing.

“Ha-ha Daddy. Okay I… I’m gonna go now. Love you! Over and Out!”

“Over and out,” I said to myself as I hung up the mic and turned to the door. Jacob, who’d been standing outside the bridge, watching, entered.

“Everything alright Captain?”

“Yup,” I replied, thinking everything was indeed, alright. Hearing Sophia’s voice was just the thing I needed after the day’s events and uncertainties. Sophia’s smiling face came to mind once again and silently I thought “I love you pumpkin”, and then went back to work.

“We still heading back to the states?”

“Yes. Continue on course.”

October 23rd, 25th, and 26th, 2001. I received a couple more short wave radio transmissions from Sophia. Most of them were short, sweet, and comforting. She was happy to hear our position although, she seemed overly eager for our return. She mentioned that we’d been selected by her school to receive some sort of student accreditation but I wasn't fully understanding what she was saying. On the 26th, I told her that we’d talk about it more when I got home. She said it might be too late by then so I told her to just go ahead and do whatever needed to be done. She was an adult in my eyes. She could make adult decisions. I told her to take care of it and she said she would. Good. One less thing on my plate, I thought.

October 31st, 2001. Halloween. I'd woke up with a splitting migraine. I half expected Sophia to contact me via short wave but, after dreading it for the first half of the day, all my misgivings turned out to be for naught. Sophia didn't message, and that allowed me to concentrate on the preparations for entering port. She’d see me soon enough. She said she had a surprise for me. Silently, as Jacob and the other crew members busied themselves, I wondered what it could be. A new truck? I doubted it. A home cooked meal then? I thought of Nikki then. I smiled. I didn't know what I was going to do.

As we pulled into port, I was happy to see Sophia standing on the pier, her long amber hair flying about from the edges of her hooded jacket. It was a windy day, it was always windy on the coast, but today it was windier than most. She waved and pulled her hair out of her face, tucking it under her chin. I waved back. A black woman, standing ten to fifteen feet away, meekly raised her hand half way, and then paused.

I focused my eyes on the woman and then looked to the starboard side of the ship. I didn't know any of the men were married, and none of them made any attempt to radio to shore, but sure enough there were three or four of my men waving back. She was a friend of the crew then.

Sophia turned and hurried over to the woman. I watched as she grabbed the woman’s arm and pulled her close, as if they were friends. A moment later, the two of them were waiving to me together. A friend from school then. I turned back to my work, preparing the ship and throwing items to pier workers. As I continued snatching quick glances at my daughter and her friend, a thought entered my mind. Was she… were the two of them… together?

I shook my head and tried to put the thought out of my mind. I realized then, I was being completely stupid. Who cared if she was Sophia’s… girlfriend. I mean, it's was fine if she was… I wasn't going to say anything. Sophia. Always the rebelious one, but… she was making her own decisions now. I just… it wasn't what I had expected.

I gave Sophia and her companion one last wave and then hurried to throw mooring lines to the pier workers who whipped them around cleats in expert fashion. I asked Jacob to handle the remaining husbandry issues with the port and to restock the galley and the rest of the ship in preparation for making way in a short while. He asked me when I expected to put back out to sea, and I told him in a week or two. No longer.

Jacob accepted the news and went back to work while I hurried down the hastily rigged gangplank and off the ship.

As soon as I was on the pier, Sophia came running over and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. It was as if I'd gone off for years and was finally returning, even though it had been only a month, if that. I hugged her back just as fiercely, enjoying the embrace and the measure of warmth it provided. I relished in her presence and then, as the minutes wore on, I wondered if anything was wrong. Sophia looked up and smiled and then pulled away, mumbling something under her breath.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Everything’s fine,” she said again, her voice low. “Stop worrying.” She looked at me then, giving me a strange look. I got the feeling she was trying to tell me something, but she didn't want to say what was bothering her. That’s when I saw Sophia’s friend standing close by, watching us intently.

My eyes made contact with hers and, I’m not usually one to be the super self-conscious type, but her striking blue eyes just caught me unaware. She smiled as if this was a common reaction and she reminded me of the Cheshire Cat, having a laugh, at my expense. Sophia laughed. I turned to her and she awkwardly stopped.

"And, uh… who is this?" I asked Sophia, needing her to conduct the proper introduction to make things seem less awkward.

“You… you don't know?” Instantly I had a sinking feeling. Sophia looked from me, to her friend, and back. I was about to start running through a list of women whom I’d had any sort of sexual encounters with in my much younger days when Sophia broke my line of thought. "I… I told you daddy. This is Alaya. She's a friend from Africa."

I almost audibly sighed with relief. “From Africa? Who?” The real question however, was, how? Or When? Since when did she talk to people in Africa?

“She’s our international exchange student. From Africa.”

I looked from Sophia to Alaya with an apologetic look on my face and Alaya returned with an embarrassed look. I looked back to Sophia who was staring at me intently. I smiled and thought to myself, of course, she's from Africa, she's black.

Sophia pulled away from me then. When I gave her a quizzical look, she responded by looking at me like she was supremely disappointed in me. "Daddy," she said.

"What?" I asked innocently. Sophia gave me another slightly disappointed look. Frustrated at Sophia’s lack of etiquette and her strange behavior, I turned to her friend. "Hello Alaya. Nice to meet you. I’m Jostein." I reaching out to shake her hand and she reached out with both hands, as if to give me a hug. I paused and moved to hug, but she moved sideways and extended her hand, and then stopped.

“Uh, they don't do that,” Sophia said, breaking into the awkward moment.

“They don’t shake hands?” I said in disbelief and then unintentionally gave Alaya a discerning look. She smiled, but then withered back and I could tell I’d said something wrong. I’d embarrassed her, and not just casually either. “I- uh, sorry. I didn't know,” I said, trying to apologize and feeling very ignorant at the same time.

Alaya smiled a bit at my sincerity, but she still bent her head down to hide the smile as it slowly grew back. I noticed then that her head was bald. So… she was one of those kinds of girls. A rebel. A bad girl… maybe. There were a number of reasons to shave one’s head. Maybe she wanted to make a statement. Maybe she didn't like conforming to societies rules and guidelines? Maybe it was something simpler… like… lice.

“Daddy,” Sophia said sharply.

“What?” I replied sharply, lowering my voice. Sophia cocked her head to the side and then opened her eyes wide and looked down the pier.

Jesus Christ, I thought. Sophia continued staring down the pier and I looked to see what the problem was. I glanced at Alaya and again saw her bald head, just sticking out of her fur lined hood, a stark contrast, white fur against her black skin. Silently, I wondered if her baldness wasn’t voluntary. If she'd always been bald, or… maybe, god forbid, if she'd gotten cancer, or something like that.

My thoughts instantly went to Sophia’s mother and I groaned inward at the painful memories. Before I my thoughts could turn dark and despairing, I focused on our wedding day, our honeymoon, long hours of lovemaking and looking into each other’s eyes for hours on end. I’d made a promise to remember her as she had always been, strong, beautiful, majestic. That’s how she wanted it to be.

Sophia seemed to loose interest in whatever she was looking at, and I didn't quite see what she and Alaya were seeing. I turned back to the boat, and then glanced at Alaya’s bald head again. She seemed a bit older than Sophia and again I found my mind wandering and wondering about things that made little sense and had no purpose. I’d dated a woman who'd shaved her head back in my younger days, before I’d been married. Jossalyn? Jessie-lynn? I couldn't remember. Boy was she a wild one. Memories of our intimacy flashed through my mind.

"Daddy! Jesus!” Sophia shouted at me, shocking me back to the present, back to reality.

“What’s with your attitude?” I asked, and then thought better of it. I didn't like embarrassing Sophia in front of her friends, and I tried to avoid it at all costs. She gave me a disbelieving look and I decided to give her a pass this time. This time. But I swore I was going to get to the bottom of whatever was eating at her.

“Can we get out of the cold?” Sophia asked, as if it were the reason for her harsh words. Her voice softened. “It's Halloween… I wanna get home before the trick-or-treating starts."

So that was it. I was wasting time. I sucked in a deep breath of fresh air, and looked back at the ship to make sure everything was well taken care of, and then nodded. Halloween. Sophia’s special day. She loved handing out candy to the neighborhood kids. She loved making other people feel special, and… wanted. She was such a good person. My chest swelled with pride and joy. It was hard staying mad at her about anything. I smiled. She was turning out more and more like her mother every day.

I stepped forward just as Sophia stumbled and luckily for her, I grabbed her arm, holding her upright. She looked back at me thankfully. I knew I’d kept her from full on face-planting, or worse. “Are you okay?”

“Ye-Yeah,” she said, standing up straight and testing her ankle. “I just… twisted my ankle. Are you… okay?”

"Yeah,” I said, thinking; I’m back on land, home, safe. Sophia’s safe. Her weird friend seems civilized enough. I’m perfect. Another image of my old girlfriend popped into my mind unbidden, more intimately this time.

“Daddy!” Sophia hissed. I silently reprimanded myself for thinking of such things while Sophia… her ankle might need further attention.

“My ankle is fine,” Sophia said, as if reading my mind.

“Okay,” I said, not believing it for a second. “Is Alaya… uh… can we give her a ride somewhere?" I asked, wanting to be chivalrous.

"Uh, yeah! You… you really don't remember?”

I smirked. Not remember, or wasn't told? Sophia opened her mouth as if she couldn't believe me but I dismissed her mock defensiveness. I didn't really care. She was an adult. I told her to make adult decisions and this was probably the first one of many. She had a handle on it.

Sophia shut her mouth, apparently coming to the same realization as I had. She turned to Alaya. “Yes, Alaya is coming with us. She's staying with us."

"She is?" I asked, surprised at the information. I gave Alaya a look of reassurance, and then looked back to Sophia who was looking at me very strangely.

“Come on,” Sophia said and we made our way to the parking lot where my truck was parked. It looked newly washed and… waxed? Sophia had certainly done a good job keeping it clean while I was away. I gave her a proud smile and got in, sliding behind the steering wheel. Sophia had said she had a surprise for me… I guess the surprise was an exchange student, and not a new truck.

Sophia climbed into the cab behind Alaya, pressing her up against my shoulder and slapping the dashboard at the same time. “Ole’ Betty,” she said. “She’s sturdy. Solid. We’re never getting rid of Ole’ Betty.”

I nodded and glanced at Alaya who looked like a fish out of water. I didn't say anything, but there was a lot going through my head just then. Was there something queer going on here? Maybe… but if there was some sort of disagreement to be had, I wasn't going to make Alaya pay for it. Nor was I going to break any agreement that Sophia might have made, that is, unless it was completely unsustainable.

“Daddy, can we go now?”

I turned the key in the ignition and nodded some more. Fine, I thought. It was indeed fine. I was fine, Sophia was fine, the truck was just fine… I had no doubts about that. But I was curious to know what, and who, and why, this arrangement had come to pass without Sophia mentioning it before. If she had mentioned it, I would have remembered. I was almost one hundred percent sure of it. Wasn’t I?

“I told you about Alaya,” Sophia said, her tone making me feel guilty for my thoughts.

I gave Alaya another quick glance to make sure she was securely seat-belted in next to me, and then gave Sophia another look. "It’s fine. Everyone ready?"

"Let's go!" Sophia said and I pulled out of the parking lot a little too quickly, spinning the tires a bit, before letting off the gas.

Alaya reflexively grabbed my arm and held on tight. I apologized as I took it a bit slower and eased us onto the road. It was still cold in the cab so I grabbed the heater knob and turned it all the way up. Sophia reached over and clicked the radio on.

Bob Dylan blasted out of the speakers and Alaya sat up and clapped energetically… a bit too energetically, if you ask me. I love Bob Dylan, but I knew Sophia didn’t care too much for it. I gave a conciliatory smile and then looked over, expecting Sophia to change the station to something more… current. I wouldn't fight her on it. I was out numbered, even though I was technically, the driver, and everyone knows the driver is in charge of the music station.

“Alaya likes Bob Dylan,” Sophia said, reaching over to not change the channel, but instead to turn the volume to a reasonable level.

"Oh?” I said, surprised at the news. “No, the volume… it's fine,” I said, and Sophia turned the music back up, but not as high as it had been before. Silently I thanked Sophia for that. I liked Bob Dylan, but not deafening Bob Dylan.

"This is... Fantastic!" Alaya said, raising her hands up and clicking her thumbs and forefingers together silently. I saw she had on thin green gloves that prevented her fingers from making the customary “snapping” sound but she didn't seem to care.

"Bob Dylan," Sophia repeated. "Dad loves it."

“You do?” Alaya asked, turning her brilliant blue eyes towards me.

“Well, yeah,” I smiled. I peered at the radio to confirm my suspicions and saw the tiny tape symbol in the corner. I knew it. It wasn't a radio station at all. These were my Bob Dylan tapes… from my office at the house…

“I… uh… sorry for playing your tapes, I guess,” Sophia said.

“Huh?” I asked as if I hadn't made the connection. I looked over at Sophia, and gave her a smile. I was fine with it. She could have asked but… She could listen to my music whenever she wanted. I never specifically told her she couldn’t, or she wasn't allowed. Truth was, I was actually kinda stoked she’d come around and had started listening to some good music, and not that garbage she usually listened to like… Nirvana.

I glanced over to give her a reassuring smile, only to see her fold her arms across her chest and then look out the window.

Well then, I thought. Maybe she didn't like Bob Dylan after all. Well, at least Alaya had good taste in music. It was a nice change, that was all. For the last year or so, when Sophia was driving, we’d listened to non-stop grunge and heavy metal music. Sound Garden, Faith No More, Metallica, Guns and Roses… It was all so harsh. So gritty.

“Can we change the subject?” Sophia asked.

“Yeah, I… guess.” I said, expecting her to stop the music. “Is everything okay?”

Sophia turned and glared at me again.

“What?” I asked.

"So, did you find the whale that saved your life?" Sophia asked.

I glanced over at her and Alaya turned and stared at me, very interested in my response. I felt my face redden. "Y-yeah. Yes," I replied, nodding, embarrassed.

"You did!? Wow. And... how do you know it was the exact same whale that saved you?" Sophia asked.

I swallowed feeling cornered but I knew this was the penance I had to pay, both for my thoughts, and for being gone for so long. I thought of Nikki then, the feeling, the knowing, the complete and utter sharing of emotional knowledge. I thought of the way whales could tell one another apart. Subtle differences. "Markings," I said. "They have very distinct markings."

"Ooooo, good answer!" Sophia said in an overly exaggerated way. I glanced over at her, wondering just what in the heck was going on. Alaya smiled widely, obviously entertained. The tone in Sophia’s voice made it out as if she were making fun of what I'd done, or was questioning my actions.

"Nope! Not at all!” She said sharply. “And… And did you give her a big kiss on her whale lips?"

I chuckled in a self-depreciating way and glanced at Sophia again. What was she doing? Was she trying to embarrass me? Was she really this pissed off? I looked back to the road just in time to swerve away from hitting th shoulder. Suddenly Alaya was chuckling, trying not to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

Alaya cringed and sank back into her seat, sucking her lips into her mouth.

I made my voice much less aggressive and said, "I think she's poking fun at me."

“Get used to it,” Sophia said.

"She does not believe you," Alaya said, and an icy chill poured down my spine.

Believe me about what? Suddenly I thought, maybe Sophia had told someone about my… savior. The whale who’d saved me. If Alaya knew… If Sophia had told her, if she knew, others might know as well. Had Sophia told others? Sophia folded her arms across her chest and stared out the window. Maybe I'd made a mistake in thinking she could handle it. That she could understand what I was going through. Suddenly, I blamed myself. I hadn't explained it enough. I should have. I should have spent more time. I should have shared… more. I just… hadn't had the time.

Sophia didn't say anything else, and neither did I. I continued the drive, in silence, my mind a blank. We didn't live that far from the port, but the short drive seemed to go on forever. Our community was built with channels of water surrounding it, aiding in drainage whenever hurricanes blew through and dumped moisture in a continuous deluge. As I navigated the maze of short streets, I decided it would be safe if I spoke once we turned the last corner from the house. "Well... it's... done."

"What's done?" Sophia asked.

"I went and I thanked her... and now... I have to make good on my word."

"What word?"

"That I'd make a difference. You know. Clean up the ocean. Stop polluting. Stop littering. I mean, not just the oceans but everywhere. We can't keep polluting and thinking this is not going to come back to hurt us in the long run. We have to protect our planet, our air, our land and our water. I want... I want you to have a beautiful, clean, wonderful planet to live in."

I turned to Alaya, just to let her know she was included in this. If she was going to be living in my house, she'd be following the same rules. "You too. I mean, for you. You gotta do your part... clean planet. I'm not your father, but. You know. You gotta recycle and-"

“I’ll help,” Alaya said quickly, smiling and nodding as if she knew and agreed with what I was saying. I didn't get that patronizing feel from her either, which was nice. She seemed genuinely interested in helping out.

“You’re driving me crazy,” Sophia said as we got out of the truck. I shook my head thinking that made two of us and as we walked up to the house, Sophia continued giving me these weird little looks.

I walked right up to the door and stuck my key in the lock and Alaya stepped to the side, a practiced move since our porch was so small. Sophia looked back at Alaya and then opened her eyes really big and stared at me.

What?, I thought. She must really be pissed at me. Sophia turned away and then turned to Alaya and then back to me. She cocked her head to the side. She raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what was going on. Sophia huffed in exasperation.

“Hurry up!”

Shaking my head, I twisted the key in the lock and opened the door.

Warmth and familiar smells washed over me as I walked past the threshold. Someone had recently cooked something and it smelled delicious. My eyes panned across the room and it was then that I saw a number of changes had been made. Many changes.

The main living room was brighter, livelier, not cleaner necessarily. I bit my tongue, knowing it was better to get the big picture before commenting on anything. Some people couldn’t handle change. Not even the tiniest bit of it. I didn't want to seem like that kind of person because, that wasn't me. I was always changing.

A good number of my recently acquired wall decorations, giant sea monsters, colossal squid, eighteen tentacled Krakens and prehistoric sea creatures from the deepest darkest ocean depths, had been taken down. Where they now resided, only Sophia and possibly Alaya knew. Replacing my prized treasures were relics and paintings, replicas and statues of old timey diving suits with coiled breathing tubes and huge metal helmets. Instead of scenes of death and destruction, there were now paintings of beautiful sea creatures and other aquatic life. A twinge of annoyance crept into my brain and I fought hard to get it out. Sure, I’d planned to take them down and throw them away but… It was my plan. These were my things. It should have been my call… I looked over at Sophia and she raised an eyebrow back.

I sucked in a deep breath of air, settling myself. “Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome!” Sophia said forcefully. “See! That wasn't so hard, now was it?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. It was done. If I was being honest with myself, I would have realized that getting rid of those things would have proved much harder to do, than the thought of doing it. The old fisherman nets and old-world drawings depicting sea monsters kinda grew on a person. The old articles of folklore had been replaced with beautiful mounted fish and faux jellyfish. Crabs made of empty spiral shells and giant clams made of stacked piles of crusty old oysters adorned the end tables. Numerous exotic fish were mounted on the walls. Giant sea urchins and beautiful polished shells the size of my boots acted as door stops. I didn't know if they were real or just fake replicas.

Sophia, seeing me eyeballing the things, said, “These are all real. I got them from down at the fisherman’s market. Alaya and I did all the grocery shopping aaaaand, I made dinner!”

I could tell from the tone in her voice, she was super proud of herself. I smiled, turned to Sophia and nodded, thinking the changes were definitely an improvement over the old drab things I’d picked up while outfitting the boat. Everything was… better. Everything was more colorful, more vibrant, more lively... Everything. It was amazing.

“You did an awesome job,” I said, wrapping Sophia in a tight hug and giving her a kiss on the top of the head.

“Thanks,” she said, returning the hug.

I smiled and held Sophia tight for a moment more, and then, as I turned, I saw the bathroom light at the end of the hall was on. More than that, it looked like there was something draped over the mirror. A towel maybe? I turned to question, took a step towards the bathroom. The door to my office was open. I glanced questioningly at Sophia. She opened her eyes wide, and then, after a long moment, waved her hands at me in frustration. “Go! Go take a look!” God she was being a ham. Without another thought about her antics, I opened the door to my office further and glanced inside.

My office isn’t much more than a walk in closet, converted for alternate use. I clicked the light on, and looked around. It was just as I had left it, as far as I could tell. All of my business and banking info was still exactly where I'd left it, although... I wondered if I'd be doing much of that type of business, now that I was "making a difference" in the world.

Satisfied, I started to pull the door closed when I noticed something above the door and stopped to look up. It was a painting. I stepped inside to get a better view. There, above the door, was a beautiful depiction of a killer whale, leaping out of the ocean against a brilliant golden sunset. The beauty of it was... breathtaking. The coincidence, eerie.

"Who did this?" I called out.

"Who did what?" Sophia asked from the kitchen.

"Who did this painting? Did you, do it?"

"Alaya bought it at the flea market," Sophia said. "It's a gift for you, for letting her stay with us. It’s customary."

“A gift,” I whispered to myself. I peered closer at the painting, marveling at the detail. It was so close, the markings so amazingly close to those on Nikki... but not exactly. No. I was letting my mind, my imagination, get the better of me. I sucked in a deep breath to compose myself, and then closed the door behind me. It was a very nice gift indeed.

"Thank you Alaya," I said as I walked back into the front room. I saw she was now sitting on the front couch, still wearing her jacket, gloves and boots, just kicking her leg up and down, one crossed over the other. I smiled. Her slender black legs looked tiny in her over-sized fur lined boot cuffs "You know you can take that stuff off and stay a while," I said in a snarky tone.

"I know," Alaya said, sliding the hood of her jacket down off her head.

The moment her hood came down, I could see a huge burn scar on the side of her head. I gasped. She ignored me. I tried not to look but it was unavoidable. Jesus, I thought. Jesus that must have hurt. The white patch on the side of her head was massive. I cringed some more. I turned to Sophia, my mouth hanging open like a pelican’s.

"Alaya has Vitiligo," Sophia said as she busied herself in the kitchen. "Don't be weird about it."

"Weird? Weird about what?" I said, trying to act anything but weirded out but, it looked so strange. What the hell was Vitiligo? Was it contagious? Did it… hurt?

Sophia laughed awkwardly. I didn't know what she found so funny.

“I have it on my ears,” Alaya said, lifting her hands up and then slowly pulling her gloves off one by one. “Hands,” she continued. I watched as black hands mottled with large white splotches, devoid of color, slipped out of the thing green gloves. “A little on my feet,” she said, kicking off her boots. Her big toe and second toe were black, the other three on each foot, white. There were no margins, only stark difference. The white spots were spotchy, made no sense, followed no pattern other than what was on the right was mirrored on the left.

Alaya turned her head and I saw the other side of her head was marred with another huge white splotch as well. “I have a lot of it,” Alaya said, and she made a sweeping motion from her chest down to her legs. I imagined her nakedness, black with white splotches like a calico cat, or a spotted frog. I wondered if her chest was white or black, or how that would look.

“Daaad!”

I turned to Sophia. “I’m not being weird!”

“You’re… staring. Okay,” Sophia said, and I turned back to Alaya to find her smiling at me. I smiled back and sat down in my recliner, opposite of Alaya. I tried to seem as casual as possible.

“Sorry about… staring,” I said. Alaya didn't seem to care. Was I being weird? Weird? Weird about what? A black girl with mostly white hands? Who would’a thought? Maybe I was being a bit weird. Suddenly I became aware of the seat underneath me, the way it felt strange against my bottom. I reached under myself and pulled the T.V. remote out and awkwardly set it on the table next to me.

“So… do you get a lot… Uh… Do people stare at you a lot?” I asked, trying to sound polite and unimposing.

“Sometimes,” Alaya replied smoothly. “In Africa… it is considered a curse,” she said, and she reached up to grab her jacket zipper. She pulled it down and pulled it open. I have thought an alien would burst out of her chest, or something equally dramatic, but instead, I saw an uneven mottling of white on black across her throat and collar bones before her skin was hidden beneath her dress. Alaya looked up at me, her crystal blue eyes piercing my soul.

“That… that’s a nice dress,” I said, waving a hand towards her sea-foam green attire. My heart hammered in my chest. Could I be any more awkward right now?

“Thank you,” Alaya said, her eyes watching me as she pulled her jacket off, and then out from behind her. She folded the garment and set it on the couch next to her. Her eyes never left mine. Eyes too intelligent to let go, eyes that saw everything. Eyes of a hunter killer.

"Dad! Jesus' dad. Are you okay?"

I looked up, tearing my eyes away from Alaya. Sophia stood there; her arms folded across her chest. She looked disturbed. "You going to come eat or... you want me to bring it to you?"

I glanced back over at Alaya, but she was already getting up and heading for the table. "Yeah, I... I'm coming."

What the heck was wrong with me? Was I going crazy? I felt a deep seated sense of self-pity, self-loathing… I was disgusted with myself. Nikki was gone. She hadn’t said she was leaving, or that I would never see her again. Her exit was quick, uncalculating, improvised. I knew she hadn't planned it. At the same time, I knew her departure wasn’t involuntary. I just needed to figure it out. Most of all, I needed to stay sane.

As soon as we sat down, Sophia reached out and took hold of Alaya'a hand. Alaya reached out to take mine, but then hesitated. I lifted my hand towards Alaya’s. She gave me a supremely strange look. “Are you sure?”

"He doesn't bite," Sophia said, and then added, "it's okay if you don't wanna hold my dad's hand. I'll understand."

“I’m fine,” I said, reaching for Alaya’s hand with a casual indifference, but Alaya pulled her hand back. “Well, okay then.”

“Maybe next time,” Alaya said, dropping her hand to her lap, below the table.

I couldn’t help but give Alaya a disappointed look. I wasn’t dangerous. I meant her no ill will. I just… Sophia lowered her head and began speaking the prayer of grace.

I closed my eyes. My thoughts turned inward. I didn't do anything, I thought. I was completely cool. I was just being me. Totally, dad. Un-weird. Un-cool, I supposed.

“We thank you for their cool- huh. This food,” Sophia corrected herself and I raised my head and opened my eyes to look at her. When I saw she was still reciting the prayer, eyes closed, head bowed, I glanced at Alaya, only to find her staring right back at me. Her eyes bored into me. I could think of nothing else but her eyes, her strange disease… it was a disease, right? I tried to rid my mind of it, but couldn’t.

Sophia finished her prayer with an "Amen", and then quickly let go of our hands and opened her eyes. "Did... did either of you say grace?"

"Yeah," I said on instinct alone.

"No," Alaya said flatly. “I can say it now if you like.”

"Well, at least one of us is being honest," Sophia said, grabbing her fork with a sour expression and digging in.

Alaya opened her mouth at an angle and raised an eyebrow at me, and then reached down to the food on her plate... My eyes locked on her hands. She bunched the food up on her plate, using her fingers. I waited for her to grab hold of her fork. She pinched her food between all four fingers and thumb, like a steam shovel picking up debris. I blinked. There was no way she’s going to eat with her hands, is she? No… She... She knows about utensils, right? Right?

“Daddy,” Sophia said then, trying to tear my attention away from what was going on. “Daddy.” Right there in front of my face. “Daddy! Leave it be.”

I wouldn't leave it be. Not me. Not in my house. Alaya, using only her fingers, scooped a large portion of food into her hand and then brought it up to her lips. Thick black lips with vibrant pink pads… I found myself captivated. With an abnormal flow of motion, she scraped the food off her fingers, into her mouth. My jaw dropped as she barely chewed and then swallowed, and repeated the motion. Every subsequent movement was just as flamboyant and overly exaggerated as the previous. I gulped. Was she doing this to show off? As much as humanly possible it seemed. Was she showing off just how uncivilized she could be? Was this… the truth? Was she really this... uncouth?

"Daddy!" Sophia exclaimed.

"What?" I shouted back at her in the same tone. I caught myself and bowed my head, trying to hold it together. There was no malice behind my words. No anger. I was just reflecting, trying to be as loud as she was being.

"Eat your food! Leave Alaya alone. That's how she eats. They don't... they don't eat with forks in Africa."

My thoughts whirled. They don't eat with forks? How? Did she come from some sort of jungle village with no-.

There was a knock at the door and I jumped at the distraction. I got up quickly and went to the door. “Hello?” I asked, cracking the door slightly and peering out. "Whaddaya want?" I could see whoever it was, was shorter than average so I opened the door further to see there were three kids standing there, juvenile delinquents from the looks of it, dressed up like... weirdos.

“Daddy! They’re trick-or-treaters,” Sophia said.

"Trick Or Treat!" came the united verbal assault.

Fudge. It was Halloween. I'd all but completely forgot. I turned back to Sophia who motioned towards a large bowl of candy she'd purchased in preparation. "Hold on a second," I said, opening the door a bit more and then reaching over to grab the bowl. "So... what are you supposed to be?" I asked the first of the three boys, almost dropping the bowl in the process.

Before the boy could answer, Alaya stepped forward. "Oooo, can I do that?" She asked. She reached out to take the bowl from my hands. I awkwardly looked down at her hands, wondering if she’d wiped them off or what she’d done since eating with her hands.

"What? You... you wanna hand out candy?"

"Yes," Alaya said, and she reached forward then with one hand, grabbing the back of the bowl from the closest part to me, and then pulled it from my grasp. She had a very strong grasp which surprised me. "I have never given tricks or treats before."

"Well, okay," I said, stepping back, wondering exactly how this was going to go. I supposed it made sense if… if they didn't use forks in Africa, I doubted they celebrated Halloween in Africa either.

"Oh, cool!" one of the kids standing there said, looking at Alaya. "Awesome costume! Dalmatian, right?" The trio laughed.

I cringed at that but was curious to see how Alaya handled the criticism since, she probably had to deal with it her entire life. I wondered what she would do. I made the split second decision that if she didn't stick up for herself, if she said nothing, I’d be the one to defend her. A sudden movement caused me to glance at Sophia and I saw she too had gotten up, and she looked pissed.

"Yes!" Alaya laughed and she shoved her hand into the bowl and hefted a huge fist of candy up next to her face. "Trick or Treat!?"

"Treat!” two of the boys shouted in unison while the third said, “Huh?"

"Trick!" Alaya yelped and she threw the entire hand full of candy directly into the three teen's faces. Before they could realize what had happened, Alaya kicked the door closed and then let out a howl like a wolf against the moon. My jaw dropped open.

Hoots of laughter and howls of enjoyment came from the trio outside who furiously picked up the fallen candy and made comments to each other, thinking Alaya's actions were "the best" and totally hilarious. I stood there, silent, jaw hanging open until they’d hurried away.

Alaya circled around me, tongue in cheek, and then set the bowl back down on the table next to the door. She stared at me the entire time, as if challenging me to some unknown stare down.

What in the heck is wrong with her? I thought.

Alaya circled the dinner table before sitting back down in her spot, and then waited. I went back to my seat and sat down as well, not knowing what to think.

"They don't have Halloween in Africa," Sophia said, making an excuse for her friend's actions.

"No, they do not," Alaya said, before scooping up another hand full of food. “Wait. Yes, yes they do.” She turned to regard Sophia, and then me again. “We do not give out tricks or treats. And… they… we, do not practice black magic.” Suddenly she looked ashamed, as if just realizing what she’d done.

“Well that’s good,” I said, turning to Sophia. “No black magic. They have Halloween though… and fish?" I asked, looking down at Alaya’s plate as she shoveled another hand full of food into her mouth. It was seasoned cod with cilantro rice and steamed vegetables. It looked… amazing.

"Of course," Alaya said, scooping another bite into her mouth. "We eat a lot of fish. It is my favorite."

Fish, in Africa, I thought. Sophia turned her face and stared at me, as if she were throwing daggers my direction.

What in the hell is going on with you? I thought.

"Can you not?" Sophia asked.

"Can I not what?" I asked, not understanding.

"Just stop it. You know what you're doing. Just stop it."

I wasn't doing anything. All I was doing was thinking to myself…

Alaya resumed eating. Sophia just stared at me.

Ice cold water poured down my spine, and not for the first time today. I struggled to stay calm, and then did my very best to clear my mind of everything, all thought, about anything. My mind, was a total blank... I let the words form then, a crisp image along with the feeling. I love you daughter.

"I love you too. Just... be nice," Sophia said.

My heart stopped beating for a moment. I was connected again. I didn’t know when, or how, but now I knew with who. And, it wasn't Nikki. No… not since… not since the middle of the Atlantic, when I’d lost her. Somehow, the connection had been transferred.

Drawing in a deep breath, I thought about Nikki's last words to me, as cryptic as they were, they now echoed in my mind. Think of her. Sophia.

Sophia looked at me with a strange look on her face.

I swallowed dryly. "I... I need to go do something."

"What?" Sophia asked, but I wasn't answering. I wasn't thinking. I folded my napkin, got up, and went to the door. As soon as I touched the handle, there was a knock. I grabbed a hand full of candy and opened the door. A little girl stood there, dressed as a princess. Before she could say the words, I grabbed her pail and stuffed the entire hand full of candy into it. "Trickortreat" I said quickly, stepping past the girl and hurrying down the sidewalk to the drainage ditch between the front yard and the road.

"Daddy?" Sophia called out, getting up from the table and following me outside. “Daddy! What are you doing?”

I ignored her and went right to the ditch. Water was water. All water was connected. I shoved my hand into the gloopy cold darkness in the ditch and pushed my consciousness into the world. Nikki... Nikki, where are you?

"Daddy!” Sophia yelled.

"I'm doing something," I said, reaching further. Come on Nikki. I need to know you're alive. Please... just let me know you're okay.

"Daddy stop it!" Sophia was next to me now, trying to pull me up. I felt… something, but it wasn't Nikki. I tried again, and when I got no response, I collapsed to my knees. Next thing I knew, Sophia was pulling me up. I let her. I stood up and it was then that I saw the look of pain on her face. “Daddy,” she said, and she touched my face… and I knew what she was thinking, not because I could read her mind, or feel her thoughts, but because a father knows. There was a connection… but not the way it was supposed to be. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be Nikki! "Daddy, please stop!"

"I... I can't!” I shouted. “I need to know. Don't you see?" A feeling of absolute emotional pain ripped through me. Sophia grabbed her head and fell to her knees next to me. "Sophia!"

I bent down and put a hand on her back. “Baby! What’s wrong?”

"Daddy please... I don't know what happened but... it hurts. It hurts so bad."

"What hurts? Come here," I said, and I reached out, grabbed her in my arms and lifted her against me. I got to one knee, and then stood up, carrying Sophia in my arms and hurrying across the street. "This... this will help."

"Daddy? Daddy, what are you doing?"

I reached the edge of the other side of the street, and hurried down the embankment, heading towards the channel filled with icy cold water.

"Daddy, no!" Sophia shouted, but it was too late. My mind, my intentions were already set. Without a word, I fell face forward into the water, dunking Sophia and myself, simultaneously. "Aaaccckk!" Sophia shouted and came up sputtering.

Nikki, please. Listen... this link we have, please, I don't... I don't want to lose you. Nikki... please.

"Daddy!!!"

A shiver ran through my body. I opened my eyes and looked at Sophia, who was staring back at me, her hair, soaking wet and plastered to her face and neck.

"Daddy... Who is Nikki?"

"She's... the whale," I said, tears welling in my eyes.

"What?" Sophia's face screwed up and then she stood up, bringing her top half out of the water. She pulled her shirt away from herself, and then crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You can't be serious? All this talk about Nikki? And she's the whale?"

I looked up then, my feelings of remorse and regret melding into embarrassment and self-loathing. Was I insane? Was I going insane? Had I always been insane?

"Daddy… You're not insane," Sophia said, reaching down and grabbing hold of my hand. "Daddy, you're just tired."

I'm not speaking.

"Of course, you're speaking," Sophia said, looking straight at me.

I kept my mouth closed and pointed a finger at it so she wouldn’t take her eyes off it. So, reading my thoughts is normal then?

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About the Creator

Kerry Williams

It's been ten days

The longest days. Dry, stinking, greasy days

I've been trying something new

The angels in white linens keep checking in

Is there anything you need?

No

Anything?

No

Thank you sir.

I sit

waiting

Tyler? Is that you?

No

I am... Cornelius.

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