My gypsy childhood

Wandering is an instinct I was born with.

　　I was 22 years old and had never had a day in a classroom before, which many people would find incredible, but for a gypsy family, it's all too common. Because in our culture, formal education is not a priority.

　　My upbringing was very different, our family lived on the road all the time, adrift all over Ireland in horse-drawn caravans. None of my siblings went to school, just art, music and dance. We learn about wildlife and nature, but also learn to cook, learn to feed ourselves. I don't know what a multiplication table is, but I can milk goats and know how to ride horses.

　　Life on the road is not only idyllic and leisurely, but also has a difficult side. With younger siblings, I have to work hard: my daily life includes fetching water, cooking, and changing diapers. We also have to fight for financial constraints.

　　We live outdoors all day long, either by fires or in woods and fields where we work, play and interact. For years, we had no electricity, no TV, no radio, no electrical appliances. We have no toys but porcelain dolls. We play poker - thank God for letting us play poker! If it weren't for poker, I wouldn't have any numeracy skills. By reading books, I also learned to recognize a little word.

　　I have loved flamenco since I was a child. My mother took me to dance lessons and I was hooked right away. Later, I became a professional flamenco dancer.

　　By the age of 17, I was desperate to get out of this chaotic and comfortable camp. I traveled the world for years, dancing everywhere. Because I didn't go to school, it was difficult to make lifelong friends. I had also had the idea of going to college in the past, but such a thought seemed unnecessary, difficult and out of reach at the time. Now, at 22, I'm ready - but it's not easy. Before being accepted, I had to write a 3,000-word essay explaining why I was educated so late - a challenge for someone who can only write letters at most. But I got in anyway, and for the next nine months of the course, I nibbled through textbooks in the caravan every night, desperately trying to get the basics I needed to master. I am very determined and have a family that fully supports me. However, to study in this family with peace of mind is another matter.

　　When I was a little girl, I dreamed of living in a house with all the terraces by the cobblestone road, because you can't get a moment of silence in a caravan. It's extremely crowded and has no privacy at all. You can only be alone by hiding under a tree or walking into a field.

　　It is so difficult to move from one culture to another, and it is even more difficult to remove barriers and misunderstandings between cultures. After completing an introductory course, I got a degree at the Open University, which completely changed my way of life. At the age of 30, I moved to Brighton to study at Brighton News Studios. I lived in an apartment here, which was weird and unfamiliar to me. I have never lived in a masonry, stucco structure and I feel completely cut off from nature.

　　I can't see or feel the changing seasons, and I can't get rid of the feeling of being confined. I spend half of my life with doors and windows open, trying to dispel the suffocation and claustrophobia that comes with living indoors. What wakes me up is no longer the singing of birds and the wind in the woods, but the roar of tight-box trucks, the noise of rush hour traffic, and the shouts of neighbors. I can no longer predict that it's going to rain based on the smell of the air; and when it does, I can't hear the raindrops falling on the roof.

　　I live by the sea now because it makes me feel a little open and free. However, I don't feel like I'll really settle down, here or anywhere else. Wandering is an instinct I was born with. When I was growing up, I woke up every day and saw a different scenery, which easily made me feel that any settlement was a kind of imprisonment. However, in order to realize my dream, I must first find a piece of soil and take root.