Montecito Lad Odyssey

Not so long ago in a place rather far away, a baby boy was born. The baby had a mon and a dad. They were the greatest mom and dad, any baby could have. The baby grew.

The boy would eat and sleep and poo. He did not like smoking. His mom smoked two packages of cigs every day. He really did not like that. He would tell her, “Mom, don’t like you smoking.” So, she quit. Eventually, he would become a smoker.

He was born in Caracas, Venezuela. In 1971, was he born. On March 20, was he born. The last day for the zodizc. At ten min before midnight, was he born. Had it ben latter, he would have been Aries. But, he was a fish.

A fish belongs in the sea. Luckly, the sea was close. So, his parent took to the sea, a lot. There he would go in the water. A fish in the sea is natural. Out of water is not.

One day by the sea, he met a girl, and they immediately became friends. They quickly got naked together and touched each other. It was so natural and effortless. When by the sea, no one wears much clothes to begin with. It was not sexual, them touching each other naked. It was innocent.

His dad was a great man, very rich and very powerful. The girl was simple. But, she was the most beautiful girl ever. They had so much fun naked together. No one saw. They did it in secrete.

A fish swims in the sea. But, a fish can also swim in a pool, and he did. The sun is very hot, but water is cool. Thus, he liked being in the sun in the pool.

Late at night when everyone was sleeping, he was awake.

He did not suck his mom’s tit. He was given milk in bottle. Not by mom but by servants. There were so many servants. They put sugar in it. Fat and happy was the boy.

One day, he woke up. He had gone pee in his sleep and was wet. Thus, he cried. He had a blanket. But eventually, mom and dad took the blanket away.

They burnt it in front of him, and he cried.

It had too much pee on it. He wanted it forever, but it was gone.

He loved mom and he loved dad. He and dad would shower naked together. Again, it was not sexual. Mom would lay him on her lap like a cat. She would pet him like a cat. He liked it. He could say there forever. He would pure when she pet him.

There was nothing he did not have. He had everything given to him. He did not try at all. He did nothing, no not a thing, but nothing. Yet, every came to him. That made him so happy. Except when he was not happy.

One day his mom’s dress maker came over. Her name was Marie. She was very old and ugly, but full of the love of God. It was a like a moth and a flame. He was drawn to her like that. Thus, she became his keeper. Other servants were let go, and she was made his keeper.

On Christmas, Santa would come. Not like you experienced him. Literally, someone was hired to wear a red suit and come to the house. Only a few nick-nack presents were given. Santa was the real gift, a good one. It was enough. Everything he had was Prada Gucci.

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When the boy was five, his father retired as senior partner of Price Waterhouse, the accounting firm, which today is PWC. Venezuela was turning socialist and people were leaving the country as quickly as possible. His father had opened the Price Waterhouse office in the early 1950s and had now closed the office for the firm due to the changing political situation. He had unknowingly been an economic hit man, helping rob the country of billions of dollars of oil revenues for multinational oil companies. He was personal friends with the Rockefeller family who had many interests in Venezuelan oil. He was very rich and had a Park Ave. apartment near the Pan Am building on top of which was Price Waterhouse’s headquarters, where he also had an office.

His father had grown up In Janesville, Wisconsin, on a forty acre farm. He was the youngest of eight born in 1915, he and grew up in the dust bowl and great depression era. His father gave him a 22 rifle when he was eight and told him to shoot some rabbits for dinner. They lived on a self-sustaining farm. They barely had lights and running water and to shit an outhouse. His dad got a scholarship into the University of Wisconsin because he was very smart. There he lived in the YMCA and shoveled coal every day after class to earn his keep. He was a straight A student, but he hated his life. He was too poor, and all the beautiful girls made fun of him because he could not get the black coal stains off his hands for class. He dropped out after one year. His brother had a stake in a gold mine outside of Vegas, NV. He quickly was promoted to the bookkeeper of the operation. Then WWII came, and he applied to be an officer since he had a year of college and all As. He was made a Captain in Accounting in charge of war debts. When the war ended, he was made a Dept. Treasurer in the West Wing of the White House under Eisenhower in charge of cleaning up war debts. Then he was recruited to be a junior partner at Price Waterhouse, the accounting firm. Then he was asked to move to Venezuela, to open their office in Caracas in the early 1950s.

His father decided that he wanted to retire in Montecito, Santa Barbara, California, but first, he wanted to take a year to travel with his wife, son, and the boy’s nanny, Marie all around Asia. So they went to Japan, India, Nepal, Thailand, Hong Kong, Australia, and New Zealand. He had many powerful and rich friends in many of these countries which invited him to stay in their estates. However, the majority of the time they were in five-star hotels. Most days were spent touring temples and the little boy was bored out of his mind day after day walking through huge temples, usually Buddhist, looking at giant sculptures of gold buddhas, with incense burning everywhere. In India, they went to the Taj Mahal, and the boy grew up thinking that everyone goes to this place at five years old with their family. In Nepal, they got to take a ride on top of an elephant. The boy also saw how poor many of the people of the world were and that they all were approaching his father for a handout, begging to get some money for food. His father was very generous and felt much compassion for these people. His mother had no tolerance of them whatsoever. It was very similar to Venezuela, where the boy had lived on the mountain top in a mansion with servants and would see the shanti towns of the poor people built by the sides of the roads on the way to the beach residence.

After this trip, they moved to Montecito, Santa Barbara. They did not know where they wanted to buy a house yet, so they moved into the San Yisdro Ranch which was for sale at the time and which they almost bought for $500,000. They lived there for six months while the boy’s mom and his father toured homes for sale. His nanny Marie would take him on long walks every afternoon while they lived at the ranch. They would be advised to be careful regarding mountain lions and rattle snakes. She was radiant with a saintly love for the boy and was a devote Catholic. There was a Catholic Church not too far away and it had a bell which was rung every evening as the sun was setting. She took him to the Church and taught him to believe in God and Jesus. He believed because she believed. Her loving kindness was all the evidence he needed to know she was telling him the truth. His mom was nominally Catholic and would take him to Mass on Christmas evenings once a year. His father was agnostic and more interested in the eastern view of religion. Thus, all the touring of temples in Asia.

His mom finally found a house she really liked which was up on a hill overlooking the harbor on ten acres. Marie had to leave to return to Venezuela and a live-in maid was hired. The boy loved to roam the estate and play army with his friends, hiding in the bushes, wearing camouflage and carrying toy guns. His father loved taking him and his friends to the beach and different playgrounds and after to McDonalds for a quarter pounder Happy Meal.

His mother remodeled the mansion and then put it up for sale. They didn’t need the money, but his mom needed something to do with her time. His dad would take him to school every day early in the morning in his Mercedes race car and play golf all day at the Valley Club and then pick him up from school. His dad was much older than all his friends’ dads, almost sixty at the time. His mom was much younger than his dad, only thirty-five, so the same age range of most of his friends’ moms.

His mom became addicted to buying big estates, remodeling them, selling them. Thus, the boy grew up in houses which were constantly under construction. Thus, he never had a very grounded environment. Also, she would put on big social events and have black tie dinners with all kinds of cooks and servants staffing the events. All the guests were very rich and some even famous actors.

Most of his friends were rich also and lived in big estates. He and his friends would roam these and neighboring estates where they would sometimes discover pot plants being grown under the sage brush with chicken wire around them and watering lines. Some of his friends’ parents were very young and did drugs in front for him and his friends, mainly pot and coke, when he was spending time on a play date at their homes. Many of his friends had older brothers and sisters which would do the same, but they did not offer any to him or his friends. Later he and his friends would do drugs on their own without the help of any of these influences.

In second grade, he felt insecure because there were all these beautiful girls in his class, but they did not pay him any attention. There was a classmate who had gold blown hair, and all the girls would flock around him and play with him. They would take him into the woods and get naked for him and have him stick his finders inside of them. The boy remembered doing this in Venezuela with his girlfriends and felt frustrated that he was not being given the same treatment anymore.

The first time the boy smoked pot he was in fifth grade. He had already tried drinking and did not like it. It made him sick and tasted bad. But all his friends’ parents and his also had bars with every kind of alcohol you could want. It was ok for kids to experiment with alcohol but not drugs. He knew his parents would not approve and felt guilty about it. This caused him to ask if God was real. He reasoned that science did away with the need for a belief in God. Science explained everything primitive man had needed God to use as an explanation. Marie had been gone for so long and her influence was long gone. His schooling was secular, and he decided then that there was no God. His guilt left him at this realization. Everything was relative. There were no absolute truths or morals to conform to. His mom lived more concerned about people thought about her than what she thought about herself. He saw how messed up this was and refused to do the same. He was starting to listen to music and hang out with older boys at the beach when surfing or skateboarding. Punk rock was becoming big. He had been raised skiing in Vail or Aspen every year for almost a month every year, tennis camps, playing golf with his dad, but he liked the punk rock stake and surf scene over the prep respectable scene his parents belonged to. One of his neighbors was Jason the lead singer of a punk band called RKL, Rich Kids on LSD. The kids which hung out with this band were known as Cito Rats. When the kid was in sixth grade, his parents bought an estate up in the mountains next to an old empty reservoir which the Cito Rats frequented to skateboard almost on a daily basis, so the kid became friends with guys and girls much older than him who taught him how to skate like a pro and what music to listen to and what drugs to take. There were parties every weekend in some estate where the parents had left the kids in charge for the time they were away and which opportunities the kids used to throw big parties, almost every Friday and Saturday night. The kid would sneak out late at night and meet up with his friends and crash these parties. His friends’ older brothers or sisters would be at the parties and vouch for them, that they were cool and could be allowed into the parties.

One of his friends, Billy, who lived in an estate close to his, had three girls over one Saturday. One of the girls was Piper, the most beautiful girl in Junior Highschool. The two other girls took the kid aside and told him that Piper had a huge crush on him and wanted to meet him behind the garage to French kiss with him. He was good friends with her older brother who was a great skater and whom he skated with regularly, so he had no clue about the cruel trick these girls had planned for him in actuality. He had got attention from pretty girls in grade school, he had worked on being cool, but he didn’t go to school with Piper. She went to the public Junior High, and he went to the best private school. They told him to wait five minutes so they could tell Piper to meet him behind the garage. When he went, Piper was there with her two friends, and they laughed at him for thinking she would want to kiss him. This really messed with his head. He could not understand why they would do such a thing. This was the first time he had a look at how evil women could be, just for entertainment. He told Piper’s older brother about what happened, and he told him to forget about her and that she was a dumb cunt. He took some refuge in this, but it was something he would never forget and caused him to be very suspicious of beautiful women and their intentions.

He didn’t kiss a girl until his freshman year of High School. There was a dance club out by UCSB which was called the Graduate which allowed underaged kids in on certain nights. He saw this beautiful girl, younger than him by a year, and she gave him the look. A slow dance song was coming on, and he asked her to dance. They held each other close and looked deeply into each other’s eyes. The chemistry was real. They both closed their eyes and started French kissing. He almost immediately came in his pants involuntarily. She didn’t notice, and he didn’t mention it to her. He got her phone number.

He turned sixteen and got his driver’s license. His dad gave him a Mercedes 500 SL. He got high on coke with his three friends and took them on joyride which could have ended badly. He took the car 130 mph over a bridge on East Valley Road by the Valley Club, and they launched. By so miracle, the car landed flat and straight and they kept going. The road was lined by thick Sycamore trees which would have killed them all at that speed if he had crashed, but he was clueless and thought cars were meant to do these things from watching tv and movies. In short order, he crashed the car twice going too fast around curves, and his dad took the car away and bought him a car that wasn’t so fast.

He waited a long time before he called the girl he kissed at the Graduate. She was really excited to hear from him, and they set up a date. He took her to the beach north of UCSB, and they held hands and watched the sun set and kissed for a longtime by the rocks where the waves crashed. She told him that she was a Christian and believed in God, etc. to his great annoyance. He quickly realized she was not the right girl for him. He did not believe in God and wanted nothing to do with those who did. He was about punk rock, skating and surfing, and doing all kinds of drugs, especially pot, coke, and LSD. He wanted a girl that was like him who was sexually liberated and wasn’t going to get weird after they had sex but was casual about it. He didn’t want a virgin Christian girlfriend with all kinds of emotional hang ups and messed up beliefs. He shared his beliefs and values with her, and she was not receptive at all. He took her home, and they never talked again. He wanted Piper, or a girl like her, but they all had older way cooler boyfriends. So, he waited. He knew he would find her eventually.