Memories in a Dream

Outside, the dawn is breaking,

But inside, my heart is breaking,

The smile is fake, that mask is unbreaking, but here I sit, behind the stage, tears running down my face, from those clown eyes.

Do we really want to live forever, as those we love, go into death's sweet embrace, through those curtains we only know what lies beyond when we make that journey ourselves?

The night wind howls, whispering her name into my ears, I feel dead, ready to go, but life wills me on; friends, loves, angry enemies who wish me dead but I got them.

Life was slipping fast for some; dragging for others, left behind, the worse feeling to be had, except for the lost of a child, a parent should never have to bury their children.

Here I sat, thinking, happy, sad, indifferent thoughts, memories chasing butterflies in a field, with her, we giggled like children that day, the sun kissing our kiss red, almost burned, we didn't care, we were here, alive, well, lovers in the day, it was a time I never forget, every night, sitting here, thinking about her, now forever young, me aging, not the same man I was, God forbid, but here I am, still alive, a broken world around me, as I try to mend those broken pieces.

Do you hear the howling of the night, raging against the wind? Soulful sounds, oh mourning to the dying light, the moon rises, helping, a bit, pieces of life are scattered about, this is the time to rejoice, the life, seeded after, but sadly, there I sit, mourning oh sad, to Gods wrath, I dare not sleep for the evil monsters come, to trick me into thinking, living, somewhere in Dreamland, she appears, as if she was alive, a dangerous thing, for now I only want to stay, this Heaven, implanted in my brain.

Memories, oh you dastardly thing, tricking me into believing this is real, life, not imaginary but real, awake oh sir, for the sun rises, no I say, trying to stay asleep, she in my arms, like yesterday.

I know this is not healthy, this is not safe, but here I am, wishing I could stay here, with her, never to return to that reality outside.

No I dare not, the show must go on, oh misery to spare, to dare awake, to new morning chances, maybe happiness there in real time, to feel alive once again, to see the sun rise, to follow its chase through blue skies, to set on another day, oh please, let this day bring happiness, oh father, to me, to feel alive again, and not this death inside.

Oh day, oh memories, dreams, dancing through my brain like a private dancer, there, only for me to see, how I wish it could be, there in golden fields, giggling at the passing clouds, what do you see? Nothing oh fair love, only you, my dear, in my arms again, if only this was reality and not just some hoax cooked up by a grieving mind, I dare not cry, at that realization but here I lie in tears.

Good night, oh my friends, my life, I hope I awake the next day, to realize everything to this day was only a dream and you are still with me here, good night, good night, till we meet again oh my heart and my soul, till then, good night, to whisper your name in the dying of the light, good night, sweet dreams, to see you again, once more, before that day, to dare not weep for others to see, coming from behind that mask.