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Lucky No. 9

a microfiction heist story

By Heather HublerPublished 10 months ago Updated 10 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2023
56
Created with CanvaPro

"Why?"

The question had been posed countless times and never once had he answered.

The Inspector's fist slammed against the table.

"Just tell me why. I cannot for the life of me figure it out."

His request was met with a blank stare.

"Have it your way. Lock him up! And throw him in the Block this time," he raged, storming from the room.

The smallest smile stole across Tristan's face.

Nine was his lucky number. It was the amount of times he'd stolen and returned the Inspector's car.

And it had finally landed him here, the only place in the city that met his needs. One–it had the necessary power supply. Two–he could gain access with a little creativity.

Tristan chuckled imagining the Inspector's surprise when he put it together. Stealing the car was just to fuck with him, but the key was literally the key to leaving this world behind.

He quickly removed the crystal hidden in the fob, touched the Block and pulled hard on its power. In moments, a fuzzy portal solidified.

Yes!

But movement drew his eye as the Inspector rushed him, grabbing the crystal and diving through the rapidly closing portal.

"Thanks, son."

Son?

___________________________________________________

I had so much fun with this one, I decided to expand it. You can continue Tristan's story by clicking here:

MysteryMicrofictionAdventure
56

About the Creator

Heather Hubler

Reading/writing/science/family=life

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  4. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  5. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (44)

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  • NooNs routes8 months ago

    good one

  • Jay Kantor9 months ago

    Dear H - You always 'Heist' my attention with 'Blank Stares' Jay

  • Donna Renee9 months ago

    I must have been on vacation when this (and part 2) came out!! 🤯. Loving it!!

  • C.Z.10 months ago

    Haha great twist!

  • Daniel Millington10 months ago

    That was so good, I love the cliff hanger.

  • Awesome 😎 I didn’t see that coming until the end 👀Great Story❤️📝‼️

  • Roy Stevens10 months ago

    Super original and yes, I'm glad you decided to continue the story!

  • ARC10 months ago

    Love the journey this one took us on, Heather! Outstanding use of so few words to create such a fleshed-out-feeling tale. Great job and congrats on a very worthy TS for this one 👏

  • Leslie Writes10 months ago

    This is really cool! I want more. <3

  • Veronica Coldiron10 months ago

    OMGOSH!! This was such a great mystery in such a short time. I can't stop thinking about it. I had one of those: "Luke, I AM your father" moments. LOL! love, LOve LOVE this! ❤️

  • Son WHAT did not see that coming great Job Heather!

  • Rachel Deeming10 months ago

    Nice twist!

  • Jacob Johnson 10 months ago

    This article is really fascinating.

  • Holly Pheni10 months ago

    I absolutely love the premise of time travel mingled with a heist! Masterfully done, friend!

  • Whoaaaaa! You gotta write a full fledged story for this! This is just too interesting too leave as a microfiction! You are the bomb! Heather my friend, my sweet fear friend, my looney partner, my favourite nerd, pleaseeee, pwetty pweaseeee write a full story to this 🥺🥺🥺🥺

  • Now that was unexpected. Never try to play a player. And remember, everything you're trying to get away with, your dad's probably already done.

  • Lamar Wiggins10 months ago

    I’m with everyone else. This was great and could easily be made into a longer piece/sci-fi movie. Congrats on a well- deserved top story!

  • marie e ehlenbach10 months ago

    It was very good!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)10 months ago

    Oh!!! Heather I’m gunna need more of this story! That was a perfect taster to make me want a follow up or prequel! I love the narrators voice and sense of humour, but also that twist at the end was just unbelievable!! Great story!!

  • Oooooh. Very intriguing twist at the end! Congratulations on Top Story.

  • Mackenzie Davis10 months ago

    I will sound like a broken record, but I loved the twist! Didn’t see it coming, but the magic of it was set up so nicely. Great work! Maybe we’ll see Tristan and the Inspector again… 🤗😁

  • Cendrine Marrouat10 months ago

    Excellent twist! I can't wait to read more.

  • Novel Allen10 months ago

    Like father, like son situation. Interesting twist. Wonder where he went.

  • Caroline Jane10 months ago

    Oooo. Like it! Great twist.

  • Babs Iverson10 months ago

    Awesome!!! Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️❤️💕

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