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Lucky No. 9

a microfiction heist story

By Heather HublerPublished 4 months ago Updated 4 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2023
56
Created with CanvaPro

"Why?"

The question had been posed countless times and never once had he answered.

The Inspector's fist slammed against the table.

"Just tell me why. I cannot for the life of me figure it out."

His request was met with a blank stare.

"Have it your way. Lock him up! And throw him in the Block this time," he raged, storming from the room.

The smallest smile stole across Tristan's face.

Nine was his lucky number. It was the amount of times he'd stolen and returned the Inspector's car.

And it had finally landed him here, the only place in the city that met his needs. One–it had the necessary power supply. Two–he could gain access with a little creativity.

Tristan chuckled imagining the Inspector's surprise when he put it together. Stealing the car was just to fuck with him, but the key was literally the key to leaving this world behind.

He quickly removed the crystal hidden in the fob, touched the Block and pulled hard on its power. In moments, a fuzzy portal solidified.

Yes!

But movement drew his eye as the Inspector rushed him, grabbing the crystal and diving through the rapidly closing portal.

"Thanks, son."

Son?

___________________________________________________

I had so much fun with this one, I decided to expand it. You can continue Tristan's story by clicking here:

MysteryMicrofictionAdventure
56

About the Creator

Heather Hubler

Reading/writing/science/family=life

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  4. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  5. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (44)

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  • NooNs routes2 months ago

    good one

  • Jay Kantor3 months ago

    Dear H - You always 'Heist' my attention with 'Blank Stares' Jay

  • Donna Renee3 months ago

    I must have been on vacation when this (and part 2) came out!! 🤯. Loving it!!

  • C.Z.4 months ago

    Haha great twist!

  • Daniel Millington4 months ago

    That was so good, I love the cliff hanger.

  • Awesome 😎 I didn’t see that coming until the end 👀Great Story❤️📝‼️

  • Roy Stevens4 months ago

    Super original and yes, I'm glad you decided to continue the story!

  • ARC4 months ago

    Love the journey this one took us on, Heather! Outstanding use of so few words to create such a fleshed-out-feeling tale. Great job and congrats on a very worthy TS for this one 👏

  • Leslie Writes4 months ago

    This is really cool! I want more. <3

  • Veronica Coldiron4 months ago

    OMGOSH!! This was such a great mystery in such a short time. I can't stop thinking about it. I had one of those: "Luke, I AM your father" moments. LOL! love, LOve LOVE this! ❤️

  • Son WHAT did not see that coming great Job Heather!

  • Rachel Deeming4 months ago

    Nice twist!

  • Jacob Johnson 4 months ago

    This article is really fascinating.

  • Holly Pheni4 months ago

    I absolutely love the premise of time travel mingled with a heist! Masterfully done, friend!

  • Whoaaaaa! You gotta write a full fledged story for this! This is just too interesting too leave as a microfiction! You are the bomb! Heather my friend, my sweet fear friend, my looney partner, my favourite nerd, pleaseeee, pwetty pweaseeee write a full story to this 🥺🥺🥺🥺

  • Now that was unexpected. Never try to play a player. And remember, everything you're trying to get away with, your dad's probably already done.

  • Lamar Wiggins4 months ago

    I’m with everyone else. This was great and could easily be made into a longer piece/sci-fi movie. Congrats on a well- deserved top story!

  • marie ehlenbach4 months ago

    It was very good!

  • Donna Fox4 months ago

    Oh!!! Heather I’m gunna need more of this story! That was a perfect taster to make me want a follow up or prequel! I love the narrators voice and sense of humour, but also that twist at the end was just unbelievable!! Great story!!

  • Oooooh. Very intriguing twist at the end! Congratulations on Top Story.

  • Mackenzie Davis4 months ago

    I will sound like a broken record, but I loved the twist! Didn’t see it coming, but the magic of it was set up so nicely. Great work! Maybe we’ll see Tristan and the Inspector again… 🤗😁

  • Cendrine Marrouat4 months ago

    Excellent twist! I can't wait to read more.

  • Novel Allen4 months ago

    Like father, like son situation. Interesting twist. Wonder where he went.

  • Caroline Jane4 months ago

    Oooo. Like it! Great twist.

  • Babs Iverson4 months ago

    Awesome!!! Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️❤️💕

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